The Following Takes Place After The Dynastyâ€™s Shadowed Light, Part 25.
Read that first. Seriously. I mean it.
Also, there is slightly coarser language in this than I typically use. Just a note.
Also, I have no idea what the hell I was thinking when I wrote this. I just felt that something this diseased should not remain on my computer, gathering digital dust.
â€œAnd you, go look in on Cynis Hadrian. He brews a beautiful cup of tea. Iâ€™ll need that for my empire.â€ Mnemon gestured, and the last of her elementals flitted away. It was done. Everyone of importance was warned, for good or ill. She turned to Sorrow, who had passed out from boredom during the recitation. â€œOh, wake up. Weâ€™ve got to â€“â€
â€œRight! Stop! Everyone just stop right there!â€
Mnemon looked up in surprise as Tepet Fokuf strode into the room, arms waving, looking extremely cross. The Regent was as angry as sheâ€™d ever seen him, even including the various spying attempts â€“ it went without saying that heâ€™d never been angry at her before. She spoke dryly. â€œWell, if it isnâ€™t Regent Fuck-off. What do you want, baldy?â€
â€œI want you out of my story.â€ Fokuf waved his hands in a shooing motion. â€œGo on, get.â€
â€œExcuse me?â€ Mnemonâ€™s eyebrows shot up her forehead.
â€œI mean it. Donâ€™t make me go Panic Monkey on your ass. I want my story back.â€ Fokuf paced back and forth. â€œI mean, seriously. First chapter was going great â€“ sure, there were a couple of parts I wasnâ€™t in, but I was being discussed in one and my opponents were in the other. It works, you know? Itâ€™s important to have an idea of what the villains are up to.â€
â€œAhem.â€ Mnemonâ€™s voice was frosty. â€œI am not a villain.â€
â€œSure, hon.â€ Fokuf smiled innocently for a moment, but then resumed scowling. â€œChapter Two started to go downhill. I should have seen the signs, really. I was only the focus of three parts, and mentioned in three more. There was an entire segment that had nothing to do with me. Not good. And then Chapter 3! All this Sidereal stuff! I ask you, is it called The Dynastyâ€™s Shadowed Stars? No, it damned well isnâ€™t!â€
â€œTake it up with Kejak.â€
Fokuf ignored Sorrowâ€™s quiet suggestion. â€œI was only in two segments in all of Chapter 3. They introduced a new character who isnâ€™t even going to reappear until the Third Age, for crying out loud! But I have had enough. Out! All of you! This is my story!â€
â€œItâ€™s mine now.â€ Mnemon shrugged lazily. â€œI deserve it, Iâ€™m a more interesting main character, and, to be blunt, Iâ€™m a lot stronger than you. So why donâ€™t you piss off and let me take over the show, hm?â€
Fokufâ€™s expression closed, and he stepped forwards. â€œThat tears it. Madame Mnemon, you leave me no other choice.â€
Mnemon stepped forwards to meet him, eye to eye. â€œNo other choice than what, shrimp?â€
â€œWeapon-Appropriating Frenzy!â€ As he spoke, Fokufâ€™s hand darted out, and he grabbed the thurible hanging from Mnemonâ€™s belt. He danced backwards, clutching it gleefully.
â€œYou give that back, you little runt!â€ Mnemonâ€™s daiklave slammed into the ground where Fokuf had been standing. As he retreated, he shouted over his shoulder.
â€œWings of Panic Manuevering! Panic Monkey Form! Youâ€™ll never catch me, copper-hair!â€
â€œYou are so dead!â€
The two raced from the room. Mnemonâ€™s angry cries floated in from down the corridor, accompanied by the sound of smashing crockery. For a moment, Sorrow watched them go, and then he blinked in surprise.
â€œThatâ€™s odd. The point of view seems to have stayed with me.â€ He grinned abruptly. â€œBrilliant! It appears that Iâ€™m the new main character, for as long as the story lasts. Well, Iâ€™ve got the most wonderful joke. Two ghosts walk into a bar. The first ghost says to the bartender, â€˜Get me a nice glass of â€“â€™â€