Third Edition

Moderator: Forum Gods

 
User avatar
The Purples
Essence 5
Essence 5
Topic Author
Posts: 527
Joined: 06 May 2006, 22:39
Title: Goddamn Purples
Exalt: Solar
Fighting Style: The Purple.
Artifact: 800080
Location: The Purple.
Contact:

Re: Tales of Eighth Grade Nothings (MAOCT)

05 Jan 2010, 19:32

What is all this then?

I'd thought I'd give a little explanation about what the Tales of the Eight Grade Nothings is. I run a lot of games and I do mean a lot, this particular one started off as a vague one shot that Maiden of Endings posted back in April. For some reason, I just keep running sessions and adding cast members. Tales of the 8th Grade Nothings began as you incredibly standard Monsters and Other Childish Things series about the woes of being a pre-teen and the terrible awkward horror of being a young person in a dying rural community. Then I started drinking heavily and the town of Ascend in the state of East Dakota began to develop more into the communism fearing, political exile infested kind of place that you're going to read about in the logs. The game isn't actually ran in a linear fashion due to the difficulties of scheduling a large online game but that's alright because people don't game with me expecting cohesive tight-woven narratives.

Adventure #2, Session #1 - MEAT!

Adventure Cast:
Randy Carter and Ace the Miracle Hound
Victoria Manning and Decarabia
Alex Meriweather and Alex's Dad
Robert Wakefield and the United Hob Clans of Nimerigar Plaza

TL;DR- Go read that opening narration, that thing looks fucking delicious! I'd eat 20 of those and promptly die but it would be so worth. That thing looks so goddamn scrumptious I'm not going even bother summarize that the children wandered around in a library, talked with a librarian, or stumbled into a dimension composed entirely of cooked animal products. I think I'm going stop writing, head down to the store, and kill myself by living the dream and consuming that sammich.

Brer_Lapine: BEHOLD! The 'Prince John' a magical thing, roughly a pound of a cow, a side of salted pork, three pieces of bacon, two crisp lettuce leaves hand picked, two halves of one onion battered and fried, three types of cheese, two types of artisanal cheese, and a fresh scotch egg.
Brer_Lapine: All of this lovingly sandwiched between two pieces of a rye bun before being lovingly fried in a glowing red oil that has a slightly hot flavor to it. All this could be yours for a mere 2.99.
Brer_Lapine: And today it is Randy's for the low low price of 4.99 for a small General's Secret Special Ice Tea (the secret special was it was coffee mixed with cola-syrup) and a low-carb serving of general's salt crisps (they're like hardtack but fried to a brilliant golden tenderness)
Brer_Lapine: Truly this is a meal of champions or dietary daredevils.
Brer_Lapine: Or maybe the Coach was just treating the team to their beginning of the year traditional brunch of champions.
Randy_Carter: "......"
Brer_Lapine: Across town this wasn't a problem because most children do not spend their saturday morning having brunch with a middle school coach at General Magruder's.
Randy_Carter eyes the food with something approaching trepidation, or perhaps awe.
Brer_Lapine: Everyone knows about General Magruder's of course it is simply the greatest fast food place in town. Perhaps it was the greatest fast food place in the entire cosmos, this humble narrator can promise that you've spent at least one birthday, family outing, A+ test celebration, or mommy is far to drunk to cook night here.
Randy_Carter shrugs after a minute and digs in with the gusto of an eigth grader who just got served all four of the Child's Basic Food Groups - Grease, Caffiene, Sugar and Meat.
Brer_Lapine: Congrats! You've survived your first week of 8th grade education, it lasted remarkably more than two hours the rest of the week and except for the inter-dimensional pudding incident you did it with flying colors.
Brer_Lapine: How are you spending your first weekend morning to celebrate? Besides Randy who is currently shaving years off his life.
Victoria is flipping through mythology books. A promise is a promise.
AlexMeriweather: Alex is trying to find a friend to study with, partly so he can try to elude his stepfather for a few hours.
Randy_Carter feeds Ace chips under the table.
Brer_Lapine: Victoria your parents are doing what all parents do (boooooring). They're busy sitting at the glass table in their bath robes and little hip square frame glasses, sipping coffee and doing the crossword puzzle. Decarabia isn't even trying to keep up appearances at this point and is currently reading through the newspaper and laughing hysterically which sounds quite... baroque.
Robert_W: Robert is busy trying to studiously ignore the goblins on his desk as they plumb the arcane mysteries of chocolate pudding.
Victoria: "Good morning. :D" she chirps.
Brer_Lapine: Alex your stepfather is spending quality time with your mother or something like that, usually they mean sex when they say that but there have been times where they've just been painting each other's nails. Its uh... kinda weird.
AlexMeriweather: Alex really didn't want to know any part of that at all.
Robert_W: Keep your head down, and maybe the teacher won't call on you. Man I should've studied...
Brer_Lapine: The pudding had the habit of entering a new theoretical state of matter mostly blinking out of existence and taking the stray brave or hungry Hob with it.
Brer_Lapine: If only for narrative conceit at some point you've all exchanged contact information with the sole exception of Victoria who was supplied the true names, phone numbers, addresses, legal guardian contact information, food allergies, and embarrassing medical secrets of most the school. Sometimes it's nice having your demonic marquis on the school staff.
Victoria: :D
Victoria: This may come in handy at some point.
Randy_Carter doesn't have a third nipple, that starfish is a dirty liar.
Robert_W: "The HORROR! The chocolate-flavored horror!" ... yeah, for Robert, burying his head behind the thickest textbook he could find was... a good idea right about now.
Brer_Lapine: It's all disappointingly samey but you do know Susan Debraugh's parents are divorced so that is something?
Victoria: Well, that's something. So, what's for breakfast?
Brer_Lapine: Scrambled egg whites, granola, a thin non-caffeinated tea, and plain wheat toast!
Brer_Lapine: This is definitely not General Magruder's.
Randy_Carter chokes down that Scotch egg and wishes he could get some granola or something. He takes a minute to figure out where all the exits are, then stops himself when he realizes that the other guys on the soccer team don't do things like that.
Victoria: Mm. Nom nom nom!
Victoria takes a moment to add salt to the eggs and spread lemon curd on the toast. also sugar in the tea.
Randy_Carter: Well, except for the one kid that spent a year in Juvvie.
Robert_W: Eh. Robert's certainly had better breakfasts. At least this one looks edible, which is much better than he'd get at home...
Victoria: ...:o
Brer_Lapine: The Assistant Coach is a wide man and actually kind of resembles a big toad. He is apparently hawaiian or something tropical like that, a big vaguely polynesian toad. He was apparently once really popular at some sort of tropical sport but he's retired or maybe banished forever.
Brer_Lapine: The Coach himself is...
Brer_Lapine: ...You aren't sure the Coach actually has a name.
Robert_W: ... Are we sure his name isn't Dudemanbrah?
Brer_Lapine: He looks kind of like that general in that one movie. You know the one with all the tanks and he blew stuff up?
Brer_Lapine: That was a totally sweet movie.
Randy_Carter: Dances with Wolves?
Robert_W: Robert always DID love a good explosion..
Randy_Carter has only a limited attention span for movies, except Indiana Jones, he has them all on VHS, laser disc AND DVD/Blu-Ray.
Brer_Lapine: Right so your soccer coach looks like George S. Patton as played by George C. Scott. He is a pretty cool guy, he does this dark brooding thing and whispers silently to you about victories on scales you can't imagine but he makes it up with these victory optimization brunches or whatever he calls them.
Brer_Lapine: There is only one dark spot upon this perfect week.
Brer_Lapine: Well perfect in the sense that school isn't half bad there is that cute girl in your class and you're pretty sure no one is aiming for your immortal soul or head.
AlexMeriweather: ...Everyone is out doing family things or club trips or sleeping in. :<
Randy_Carter is pretty sure that the narrator has it out for him :3
Victoria: Hmm. Victoria wonders if any of the others would like to come on an adventure with her and Decarabia.
AlexMeriweather: Maybe there's something within walking distance...
Brer_Lapine: Everything is within walking distance, this town is in pigspit nowhere.
Robert_W: And we probably would've gone too if it wasn't for that flying pig incident. How was I supposed to know they'd make a catapult anyway?
AlexMeriweather: Library?
Randy_Carter goes back to his sandwich, and wondering what the dark spot on the day is.
Brer_Lapine: School library is closed. Local library is composed entirely of hexagonal rooms containing books making up the entire past, present, and future of the written word but nobody ever seems to look at any of it besides the magazine section.
Victoria peeks to see what Decarabia is reading.
Brer_Lapine: The stocks.
AlexMeriweather: Alex walks to the local library.
Randy_Carter quietly looks for a way to distract the team so he can get out.
Randy_Carter wants to have an adventure!
Brer_Lapine: The dreaded mark upon your weekend is in no way topical to local news.
Brer_Lapine: FLU SEASON.
Robert_W: The library seems as good an idea as any right about now, though it wasn't normally Robert's first choice, but it wasn'ta BAD one.
Brer_Lapine: This adventure is brought to you by a heightened sense of paranoia from the evolution of the influenza virus.
Victoria waves at Decarabia. "Hey, Mom, Dad, I'm going out~" she chirps to her parents.
Randy_Carter: "Hey, coach, why don't you tell us about the time you punched Salvadore Dali"
Brer_Lapine: "Goddamn Spaniard, clocks don't melt!"
Randy_Carter prepares to sneak out while the coach is relating his pugilistic exploration of impressionist art.
Brer_Lapine: The coach begins his rant on aesthetics and impressionist art.
Randy_Carter heads for the door, Ace in tow.
Brer_Lapine: You know it's early on because he hasn't started crying yet.
Brer_Lapine: Ace likes sneaking :D
Victoria skips off towards the door, hopefully Decarabia wants to go on an adventure.
Brer_Lapine: Decarabia always wants to go on an adventure.
Victoria: Good. Especially a godslaying adventure maybe~
Randy_Carter takes Ace for walkies over to the local library!
Victoria goes out the door with an armload of books. first to the library, though, to return these.
Brer_Lapine: The local library is reminiscent of a Frank Gehry building except he was a drunk and angry Frank Gehry that struck the earth with the power of an old testament God and pushed his half-finished creation into his newly formed abyssal crevasse. The guy they got to finish the exterior was much more level headed and it had that nice modern feel to it except for the occasional angle of time and space that made your head hurt.
Victoria is trying to figure out the geometry of it. It's thus far impossible but she hasn't given up.
Brer_Lapine: The interior was never completely finished and there are entire hexagons of it that are a mess of exposed wiring, rolls of rugs that need to be cut, cans of varnish, and exposed plumbing.
Brer_Lapine: Decarabiah doesn't seem that bothered by it.
Randy_Carter fondly remembers himself and Ace helping Victoria try to match the exterior dimensions to the interior. It was fun, and then Ace buried the head librarian.
AlexMeriweather thinks it's kind of weird and icky-looking, but so many books. :D
Brer_Lapine: Ace has a fear of this library like a normal dog has a fear of the Veterinary Nurse that puts the thermometer in their butt.
Robert_W watches out as a few books go flying. Apparently some of the hobs are having their own little feud going on.
Victoria goes to the return desk to return her massive pile of books.
Brer_Lapine: The Vet said Ace wasn't allowed back by the way, they sent a letter.
Robert_W: "I tol' ye, these're OUR books, and ye ain't takin' em from US!" "LIAR! Great THIEF!"
Randy_Carter lets Ace stay outside so he doesn't freak out and eat the section on post-structuralism.
Brer_Lapine: The front desk of the library had been conveniently relocated to the immediate entrance of the library after a number of complaints had been made about the number of feral junior shelver tribes that had started to appear amongst the tall shelves.
Brer_Lapine: Ace liked post-structural thought :D
Randy_Carter goes in and starts to wander over to the books on Egypt, until he sees Victoria, then he starts to wander to the books on Egypt while trying desperately to look cool. He even puts on sunglasses.
AlexMeriweather: And Alex begins to wander towards the philosophy section before noticing two people he knows.
Randy_Carter inevitably, perhaps, runs into a structural support.
Randy_Carter: Right as Alex notices him, likely.
AlexMeriweather: Blinkblink. "Are you okay?"
Brer_Lapine: The Head Librarian went by the name of Henry, he wasn't exactly athletic but he did have an amazing ability to be in the wrong place at the right time.
Victoria: "Hi, Randy." Victoria chirps cheerfully, wandering over with Decarabia in tow. She picks up some books on the way, trying to balance them. "Careful! Solid surfaces don't yield."
Randy_Carter rubs his head "I'm alright! Need help with those books, Victoria?"
Brer_Lapine: He was a kind fellow and if you ever had any questions or were in need of rescuing from the terrible stacks and their dark eldritch sekrets (the K only made them more mysterious) he always seemed just around the corner.
Victoria: "I've got them." Randy would probably notice that most of them are mythology books.
Brer_Lapine: Decarabiah scoffed and did a stage whisper. "Younge Fooles falle fore love like arrowes fall upon soldiers."
Randy_Carter: "....is this like that time with the Persian Army?"
Brer_Lapine: "...Perhapes."
Victoria tries to reach for a book above her head. A nice thick one. About the reign of Hatshepsut.
Randy_Carter reaches up to help Victoria with the book.
Randy_Carter: "Ooo, Hatshepsut. I think I've read this one"
Brer_Lapine: Alex, the library is certainly a bracing place and young love seems blooming with all it's disgusting glandular hormone stuff.
Randy_Carter waits for someone to react. Someone always says "You can read???!?" when he says things like that -_-
Brer_Lapine: Actually the extreme lack of your dad is pretty weird, maybe he really is giving you your private time.
Victoria: "You like Egyptian history? :D"
Brer_Lapine: ...Or it's like that one time and he'll appear behind you in a pillar of salt.
Randy_Carter: "I do"
Robert_W is now called Nakibe
Randy_Carter: "My Older Brother Steve from Cleveland gave me a book on Egyptian history when I was a kid and that's why I want to become an archeologist and fight Nazis" all of that said in one breath.
AlexMeriweather: >_> <_< Alex would like to believe the first one.
Victoria: "Cool."
AlexMeriweather: "So hi." ^^
Randy_Carter: "So, Alex, where's your step-dad?"
AlexMeriweather: "Uh, at home."
Randy_Carter: "....do they even let him in here with that flaming sword?"
AlexMeriweather: "I hope not."
Brer_Lapine: There is a mysterious peal of thunder in the distance but still safe~
9:55 PM
AlexMeriweather: ""So what're you-" *twitch* "here for?"
Randy_Carter: "Adventure!"
Victoria: "Hi, Alex." Victoria grabs another book. "Research! And then an adventure."
AlexMeriweather: "Ooh. Can I join?"
Randy_Carter: "I heard from one of the guys on the team who heard from his older brother that there's a book in the library that sucks you into ancient Babylonia"
Randy_Carter: "I think we should find it"
AlexMeriweather: "Really? Wow."
Randy_Carter: "Well, I know the guy's older brother and he does a lot of drugs"
Randy_Carter: "So it might not be true"
Randy_Carter: "But it'd still be pretty cool"
Brer_Lapine: "Ancienk Babylon? Those were glorious days..."
Brer_Lapine: Decarabiah seems to look a bit... starry eyed.
Randy_Carter: "So, Alex, I've been meaning to ask"
Victoria: "Hmm.I wonder where it would be shelved..."
Randy_Carter: "If your step-father is your step-father, why is he named Mr. Meriweather too?"
Brer_Lapine: "I remember those days, ah I used to run with the olde gange."
10:00 PM
Brer_Lapine: "Forneus, oh Forneus. Where are thy now?"
Randy_Carter: "Gange? Isn't that a river in India?"
Randy_Carter: "That's a good question, Victoria. Would it be under "B" for Babylon, "A" for Ancient or "P" for Probably A Bad Idea To Read But We're Gonna Do It Anyway"
Victoria: "Ganges is the river in India." Victoria says automatically. "Hm. Let's start with B, perhaps~"
Brer_Lapine: "It would be under "C" for Children Meddling In Ancient Sekrets When They Ought To Be Worried About Studies." The Head Librarian is poking his head in through one of the bookshelves.
Randy_Carter: "But this is for a class project, Mr. Librarian"
Brer_Lapine: "You know when I was your age, I was more worried about falling through portals into other realms then running around trying to active fall into portals into dread places of the past!"
AlexMeriweather: "...I don't know."
AlexMeriweather: "Why do you ask questions like that?"
Victoria: "First-hand research."
Randy_Carter puts on the smile he uses when his dad has had one too many beers and is yelling at him because mom's out with her friend, Mr. Hoosevelt, the dry cleaner.
Randy_Carter: "We just need to borrow it for a little bit...for a paper"
Brer_Lapine: "It's a reference copy."
AlexMeriweather: "Can we read it in the reference room then?"
Randy_Carter: "...then we won't leave the Library with it! We'll be extra careful!"
Brer_Lapine: "Do you have adult supervision?"
Victoria points at Decarabia.
Victoria: :D
Victoria: Adult supervision~
Randy_Carter: "Sure we do, Alex's dad is standing right over there" he points at where Alex's dad is browsing through the books on effective child-rearing.
Brer_Lapine: "Hello son!"
AlexMeriweather: Alex attempts to hide behind Victoria.
Randy_Carter: "Hmmm," Mr. Meriweather says "He's a little old for 'Everybody poops', but do I really need a copy of '7 Habits of Effective Disciplinarians'?"
Brer_Lapine: Head Librarian Armitage gives a scowl at the heroes. "Nobody never takes old Henry serious anymore, ever since they found out we just painted an elephant with invisiblity paint." He grumbled to himself and went back to shelving.
Victoria goes to find the book.
Randy_Carter: "Say...Mr. Armitage...do you have any of that invisibility paint left?"
Randy_Carter is ever the opportunist.
Brer_Lapine: "Nope."
AlexMeriweather: Alex skitters off behind Victoria.
Brer_Lapine: And a grand search begins!
Randy_Carter: "Oh well, thanks anyway Mr. Armitage!" he scampers off after Victoria and Alex, whistling for Ace to come along because ADVENTURE IS AFOOT!
Brer_Lapine: (Roll brains+notice to try and find books on that pesky subject. You'll know you found the book in question because you'll be inside a book.)
Brer_Lapine: There is a trembling as something quite excited goes running full force into a bookshelf and then into another and finally a third
Brer_Lapine: Ace was really quite good at those three point turns
Randy_Carter: !roll_ore 4
The_Lady: Randy_Carter invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 2, 5, 6, 9
The_Lady: Possible sets: 1x9, 1x6, 1x5, 1x2
Victoria: !roll_ore 7
The_Lady: Victoria invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8
The_Lady: Possible sets: 1x8, 1x7, 1x5, 1x4, 1x3, 1x2, 1x1
AlexMeriweather: !roll_ore 4
The_Lady: AlexMeriweather invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 3, 4, 8
The_Lady: Possible sets: 1x8, 1x4, 1x3, 1x1
AlexMeriweather: (piffle.)
Brer_Lapine: Randy you flip through many a book but there is absolutely no portals to be found, you do happen to find a pamphlet entitled "On Sending Out of the Soul."
Randy_Carter shoves that in his back pocket.
Brer_Lapine: Victoria and Alex you find NOTHINK but it's the weekend and you have nothing but time, it's not like a little library exploration couldn't turn something up.
Victoria rolls her sleeves up and dives right in. Mm, books.
Brer_Lapine: You do find a leatherbound book called "The Man, The Myth, The Legend: The Okkult and Auto-Mechanics"
Randy_Carter isn't about to give up just because of a little thing like failure!
Brer_Lapine: (Feel free to try again, if you spend some QUALITY TIME at it I'll let you set one of your dice to any number before rolling)
Randy_Carter: (Then that's what I'm doing!)
Victoria: (I will.)
AlexMeriweather: Alex came here to look at books for most of the day. Alex can easily do this while looking for one specific book.
AlexMeriweather: (yup.)
Randy_Carter: (And I'll set that number to 5)
Randy_Carter: !roll_ore 3
The_Lady: Randy_Carter invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 8, 8, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x8, 1x10
Randy_Carter: (....hey, whatever works!)
Brer_Lapine: Hours pass and I do mean HOURS. Ace has learned he can catch his own tail but isn't quite sure what to do with it, Mr. Meriweather has read through most of "Fathering the Modern Way" and Decarabiah has been looking through "Old Pidgin's guide to Daemones and Spookes" with a look of longing.
Brer_Lapine: (Anyone else going to roll?)
AlexMeriweather: (six. because why not.)
AlexMeriweather: !roll_ore 4
The_Lady: AlexMeriweather invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 3, 4, 7, 9
The_Lady: Possible sets: 1x9, 1x7, 1x4, 1x3
AlexMeriweather: (or maybe following Randy around is a good idea.)
Victoria: (I'll set mine to 4)
Victoria: !roll_ore 7
The_Lady: Victoria invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 2, 4, 7, 8, 8, 10, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x8, 2x10, 1x7, 1x4, 1x2
AlexMeriweather: (whoo.)
Brer_Lapine: You soon find yourself in a section of the library labelled OKKULT SEKRETS - DO NOT DISTURBE. It may just be genre saavy talking but this many dangerous books together seems like it was just a bad idea when it's accessible by anyone that could theoretically be a protagonist.
Victoria: Just Victoria's kind of section.
Brer_Lapine: Most of the floor is unfinished and there is a leaky pipe dripping down on the shelf which is beginning to make the bloated wood sag and warp.
AlexMeriweather: "Well that looks dangerous. Maybe we should get the books off that before they get all wet and ruined."
Brer_Lapine: There doesn't appear to be any big book of portals to ancient Babylonia there are a couple to Mesopatamia and one to Syria but those all suck. Actually in general there appear to be a great many unlabeled grimoires that could send young children to all sorts of magical and potentially deadly places.
Victoria: Oooh.
Brer_Lapine: Decarabiah is unimpressed but he often is.
Brer_Lapine: Ace is illiterate :D
Victoria picks one up.
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Merriweather is trying to debate if Alex is more of a Constructive or Restructive energy type.
Victoria also pets Ace.
Brer_Lapine: Ace likes pets :D~
10:35 PM
AlexMeriweather: Alex tries to be helpful and move the books he can get to away from the water.
Randy_Carter flips through books to find adventure.
Brer_Lapine: Eeny-meeny Miny-moe, which hell dimension shall we go?
Brer_Lapine: (Roll 1d10 Randy!)
Randy_Carter: !roll 1d10
The_Lady: Randy_Carter invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 10
The_Lady: Rolled 10 on 1d10
Brer_Lapine: (...Y-yes.)
Brer_Lapine: (*wipes away a single tear)
Brer_Lapine: There is a strange sucking sensation, which is obviously what adventure must feel like.
Brer_Lapine: The world silently strips away and the damp atmosphere of the Ye Olde Okkult Sekret section seems to get a bit more humid. There is a pleasant scent upon the air, it smells like bacon.
Victoria: Tasty.
Brer_Lapine: On the horizon there is a swaying forest of...
Brer_Lapine: ...MEAT.
Brer_Lapine: Yeah that's right, Meat Dimension.
Randy_Carter: "We've opened a portal to the meat dimension?"
Brer_Lapine: There is a distinctive lack of portal, it's more of a simply being in a meat dimension.
AlexMeriweather: "...Ew."
Randy_Carter: "At least we won't starve to death?"
Victoria: ...
AlexMeriweather: "I don't think you can survive on bacon."
AlexMeriweather: D:
Victoria isn't at all hungry anymore.
Randy_Carter: "Well, then let's find a way out and maybe we'll discover the Terrible Secrete of Generale MacGruders"

Obligatory Player Disgust at My Opening Paragraph Excerpt:

Randy_Carter: Also, the Prince John?
Brer_Lapine: Yes?
Randy_Carter: Where the hell did you come up with that?
Brer_Lapine: Uh I just started listing things to put on a sammich and then I fried it
Brer_Lapine: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_B._Magruder
Brer_Lapine: That's who it is all named after
Randy Carter: That thing could kill four men Randy's size.
Brer_Lapine: It has an entire onion on it :D
'So you say your name is Ulysses,
that you're wandering around the world.
Tell me sir, have you ever been arrested before?'

This is the worst thing. -bassist159

Here there be dragons.
 
User avatar
The Purples
Essence 5
Essence 5
Topic Author
Posts: 527
Joined: 06 May 2006, 22:39
Title: Goddamn Purples
Exalt: Solar
Fighting Style: The Purple.
Artifact: 800080
Location: The Purple.
Contact:

Re: Tales of Eighth Grade Nothings (MAOCT)

05 Jan 2010, 23:46

Adventure #2, Session #2 - MEAT!

Adventure Cast:
Randy Carter and Ace the Miracle Hound
Victoria Manning and Decarabia
Alex Meriweather and Alex's Dad

TL;DR- Meat. Meat. Meat. Meat. Meat. Brief battle with roast chicken. I jump the shark in the third session of the game and have the group stumble upon a panopticon inhabited by the British. To imagine this, consider Australia but the ground is made mostly of beef and your heart starts to hurt after thinking about this concept for too long.

Brer_Lapine: When last we left our hormonally imbalanced heroes they had traversed unknown distance in time and space to find themselves arrived upon a vast plain of bacon that swayed ever so slightly in the moist breeze. There is nothing but meat and meat-by-products in all directions though in the distance there appears to be something flowing so it could be ranch dressing.
Brer_Lapine: Ace has taken it upon himself to begin consumption of this strange and terrifying reality.
AlexMeriweather: "...Ew."
Randy_Carter: "Could be worse, I suppose"
Victoria: "Everything could be worse."
AlexMeriweather: "I don't want to know how. Ew."
Randy_Carter: "I mean, this time we're at least 100% certain that we're not likely to find candy here"
Brer_Lapine: Ace likes devouring Terra Viscus :D
Brer_Lapine: "Son," Alex's step-father looks at him with a quiet intensity that one inherits only after ages of practicing for that sort of quiet intensity, you'd have to be at least like... thirty years old!
AlexMeriweather: Alex would like to pretend he hadn't heard that and hadn't been followed even into the crazy meat dimension, but he's almost getting used to this by now.
Brer_Lapine: "Can you imagine how much meat sauce we could make for the spaghetti dinner?!"
AlexMeriweather: "...That doesn't sound too bad," he considers.
Randy_Carter: "You know, I don't think that would be very hygienic, Mr. Meriweathe...wait, if Alex is your step-son, why do you have the same last name?"
Randy_Carter is pretty sure he's asked this question before.
Victoria: "Change of name?"
AlexMeriweather: "...Not his real name." <_<
Victoria: "Would you happen to know his True Name? >.>"
Victoria: Victoria is very interested in this!
AlexMeriweather: "Uh. It's like a billion syllables long and ends in -el. Does that help?"
AlexMeriweather: Alex is mildly embarrassed.
Randy_Carter: "I have an aunt whose name is like that. Only it's just Muriel. Maybe they're related?"
Brer_Lapine: "I do not believe in oppressive patriarchal society and as such I took on his mother's name to show my devotion and love to her!" He flashed a brilliant smile like a tiny star being born. He also neglects to mention his true name causes blind men to see, birds to expire, and collared greens to taste like chocolate.
Randy_Carter would pay any man who could make collard greens taste like anything other than boiled ass.
Brer_Lapine: "It was very awkward when we were dating!"
Randy_Carter: "I can imagine."
Randy_Carter: "Anyway. So, here we are in the meat dimension...full of meat."
Brer_Lapine: Ace likes this dimension :D
Randy_Carter: "I'm really happy for Ace, but this place is kinda boring"
Randy_Carter: "Maybe we should look for a way out and find somewhere cooler - with, like, space aliens or guys with weird hats that rip out people's hearts"
Randy_Carter: "Or space aliens that rip out people's hearts"
Randy_Carter: "You know, whatever"
AlexMeriweather: "Maybe we could find a place that's like Ancient Egypt or something neat like that."
Victoria: It doesn't really narrow it down, there are a ton of angels out there with True Names like that.
Brer_Lapine: Decarabia who is in his original form is regretting his far superior demon senses and the fact that his entire body has the sense of taste. "EVERYTHINGE IS SODIUME."
Randy_Carter: "Ancient Egypt would be fun!"
Brer_Lapine: Ace likes mummies :D
Randy_Carter: Ace loves Mummies! They're like beef jerky!
Randy_Carter: Walking beef jerk....ooo, rabbit.
Randy_Carter: Wait...just a bacon tree...good enough.
Victoria pats her cute starfish demon friend.
Randy_Carter looks around for a meat ziggurat or something that looks like a portal back to the library.
Victoria: Hmm.
AlexMeriweather: Alex wonders if a sausage tree is actually capable of bearing his weight. That might be the only thing that isn't greasy to climb.
Brer_Lapine: There are some mountains in the distance that look like brisket, a handful of bacon trees, some kind of wall made of ribs, and the giant gathering black cloud of screaming terror.
Brer_Lapine: ...Wait giant black cloud of screaming terror?
Victoria: ...that was out of place.
AlexMeriweather: "That looks bad."
Victoria: That was very out of place.
Randy_Carter: "....let's go check it out"
Randy_Carter is already heading in that direction, Ace at his heels.
Brer_Lapine: The black cloud of screaming terror obliges by moving closer. On closer inspection it might not be a black cloud of screaming terror so much as the aerial charred remains of hundreds of edible fowl.
Randy_Carter: "cooooool"
Victoria: ...Victoria is disappointed.
Randy_Carter: "I wonder how many of them Ace can eat at once"
AlexMeriweather: "A giant cloud of blackened chicken?"
Randy_Carter: "Too bad they don't bleed ranch sauce"
AlexMeriweather: "I wonder if there's a lake of lemon pepper fish."
Victoria: A cloud of screaming terror would have been interesting.
Randy_Carter: "I hope so"
Randy_Carter: "Hey, Ace. Think you could eat all those birds, boy?"
Brer_Lapine: One swoops past the Marquis of Hell and unleashes a spray of blackened grease.
Brer_Lapine: Ace likes carbon :D~
Randy_Carter: "Get 'em, boy"
Brer_Lapine: Decarabia on the other hand is squirming in terrible discomfort. "IT TASTES LIKE BADE MEMORIES AND HELLE."
AlexMeriweather: Alex feels sorry for the demon.
Victoria: "We'll find a way out." pat the starfish. keep looking.
AlexMeriweather: Is there a handkerchief to wipe that off or... no. Alas.
Brer_Lapine: "WHATE UNMERCIFUL CREATORE MADE SUCH TERRIBLE TASTES FOR HISE CHILDRENE." Alex's Dad is looking particularly mollified by the demon's continued dialogue against a kind and merciful creator.
Victoria: Her sweater's ruined, but she doesn't care, her great-aunt knitted it for her and it was ugly and uncomfortable.
Randy_Carter: (Can I use Terrible Cthonic Something Inside My Dog to consume the black bird cloud?(
Brer_Lapine: Decarabia much prefers the taste of wool knitted with love by an aging relative. >9<
Brer_Lapine: (You can indeed attempt to defeat the growing swarm of roasted bird but there is a lot of it)
Victoria: Decarabia can totally eat her sweater if he wants.
Brer_Lapine: Decarabia was being sarcastic.
Brer_Lapine: It is hard to emote as a giant demonic starfish.
Victoria: Damn. :/
Randy_Carter: !roll_ore 8
The_Lady: Randy_Carter invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 2, 2, 6, 8, 9, 10, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x2, 2x10, 1x9, 1x8, 1x6, 1x1
Brer_Lapine: !roll_ore 10
The_Lady: Brer_Lapine invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 3, 3, 5, 5, 6, 8, 8, 9, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x8, 2x5, 2x3, 1x9, 1x6, 1x10, 1x1
Victoria: !roll_ore 10
The_Lady: Victoria invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 2, 2, 4, 5, 8, 8, 9, 9, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x9, 2x8, 2x2, 1x5, 1x4, 1x10, 1x1
Brer_Lapine: Ace opens his mouth and the hundreds of squamous tentacles come forward ushering thousands of greasy chicken breasts to oblivion within Randy's canine buddy.
Brer_Lapine: A particularly plump turkey manages to make it past the dog and bursts like a water balloon on Victoria's out stretched hands covering her great-aunt's sweat and her hands in a fowl smelling grease.
Victoria: ...ewww
AlexMeriweather: Alex moves back, out of the way of the grease-splatters.
Brer_Lapine: The Great Marquis taking great offense at this simply gestures with a tentacle and a flaming column of hellfire erupts from the earth to claim dozens of the fluttering meals.
Brer_Lapine: !roll 4d10
The_Lady: Brer_Lapine invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 3, 5, 5, 9
The_Lady: Rolled 22 on 4d10
Victoria wants to learn to light stuff on fire too. :/
Randy_Carter pets Ace "Who's a good boy? You are? Aren't you? Yes you are..."
Brer_Lapine: Ace starts coughing and a couple dozen neatly snapped wish bones fall out of his mouth.
Brer_Lapine: What was once a terrifying screaming cloud of poorly prepared meat is now just a smallish cloud of poorly prepared meat that is kind of gently buzzing.
Randy_Carter: "Good boy, way to wipe out an entire meat-based ecosystem, Ace. Ummm...maybe you could as Decarabia to Sete The Reste Aflame, Victoriae?"
Brer_Lapine: Which coincidentally is coming around for a second attack run, so the kids might want to deal with that somehow.
Brer_Lapine: "WITHE PLEASURE."
Victoria: "Please?" Victoria wibbles at Decarabia just before he agrees.
Brer_Lapine: !roll_ore 4
The_Lady: Brer_Lapine invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 1, 5, 8
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x1, 1x8, 1x5
Victoria: !roll_ore 10
The_Lady: Victoria invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 2, 3, 3, 4, 6, 6, 9, 9, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x9, 2x6, 2x3, 1x4, 1x2, 1x10, 1x1
Brer_Lapine: The remains of the screaming cloud of doom have been magically replaced with a quiet cloud of ash and carcinogenic gasses.
Brer_Lapine: By magic we mean fire.
AlexMeriweather: Magic fire?
Brer_Lapine: Technically.
Randy_Carter: "There! We've overcome our first obstacle! Coach says that everything else will be a piece of cake - meat pie maybe? - from here on out!"
Victoria: "I want to learn to light things on fire too. :D"
Brer_Lapine: "This can be arrangede."
Victoria: :D:D:D:D
AlexMeriweather: "People can learn that sort of thing?" Alex looks interested.
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Meriweather looked down at his son. "If you want to learn, I could teach you."
Victoria: "Probably~I mean, I summoned Decarabia because I read a neat book and wanted to try it. :D"
Brer_Lapine: "But handling the very fury of the cosmos is a lot of responsibility, son."
Randy_Carter cares not for setting things on fire, he just wants to see what's over that next hill-made-out-of-italian-sausage.
Victoria: "There are a lot of neat books like that out there. But I haven't gotten a chance to read them yet. :/"
Brer_Lapine: "Are you sure you don't want to go watch the local sports team perform well and be good sportsmen? We could buy foam hands and hotdogs!"
AlexMeriweather: Alex is far more interested in calling down fire from the sky than seeing a bunch of people run around and toss things and buying seven-dollar hotdogs.
Brer_Lapine: "Or perhaps I could buy a motorcycle and we could have a father-son roadtrip when I have become wizened and you have grown old enough to resemble Nicholas Cage?"
AlexMeriweather: "...Why would I ever look like Nicholas Cage?" o.o
Randy_Carter: "Everyone looks like Nicholas Cage. It's how you know you're about to die"
AlexMeriweather: He looks at Victoria. "When you finish them could I maybe look at them?"
Victoria: "You'd have to come over~I don't lend those books out. I saved up my allowance for years and years to buy them."
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Meriweather just wibbles a little. Decarabia looks incredibly pleased that something has wiped that stupid smile off of the angel's face.
Randy_Carter: ....wait. Did Victoria just invite Alex over to her house? To her HOUSE? TO her house? To HER house? He turns around "So, umm, Victoria, do you think I could come over too and we could look at those books and talk about Egypt and stuff?"
AlexMeriweather: "Well, if you wouldn't mind." :3
Victoria: "Sure. :D"
Victoria is incredibly clueless.
AlexMeriweather: Yay, friends!
Brer_Lapine: Ace has taken this opportunity to start eating the hill made of italian sausage.
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Meriweather is your friend :(
Randy_Carter: "Awesome!" in your face, Meriweather.
AlexMeriweather: Why would this involve anything other than making friends? Alex is also clueless, for unrelated reasons.
Randy_Carter: Randy turns back around and jogs a bit to catch up with Ace.
AlexMeriweather: "I don't have anything nearly so interesting, but you can borrow my books if you want."
Brer_Lapine: Ace wags his tale and goes back to eating cured flesh of uh... what kind of animal do you make an entire meat dimension out of?
AlexMeriweather: An elder cow-god?
Randy_Carter: Bacon Cthulhu?
Victoria: In the meat dimension, dread bacon cthulhu lies dreaming?
Brer_Lapine: Beyond the hill that now is looking suspiciously more like a hillock there are grand walls made out of marvelously marbled steak and magnificently sculpted ribs. It seems like you would ask who creates a building out of meat but then again you're in an entire world of meat so it'd be a pretty stupid question and you'd look like an idiot in front of your friends.
AlexMeriweather: "Wow."
Brer_Lapine: Nobody wants to look like an idiot in front of Ace, he is just so cool.
Randy_Carter: What is dead does not eternal lie. In these Stange Aeons, even death may fry.
Randy_Carter: "...that's the tastiest city ever"
Brer_Lapine: It looks more like a fort or maybe a prison.
Brer_Lapine: Meat military industrial complex?
Randy_Carter: "I think I visited my uncle Robert in a place like this once"
Victoria: "Oh?"
Randy_Carter: "Well...he was in prison, and he told my dad that everyone kept giving him meat. So I guess it was like this?"
Brer_Lapine: Ace likes the sound of prison :D
Brer_Lapine: "I went to a prison once." The angel scratches his chin appreciatively and looks over the impressive meat architecture.
Brer_Lapine: "I was forcede into a prisone once."
Brer_Lapine: "Oh, what for?"
Brer_Lapine: "..."
Brer_Lapine: "...Oh."
AlexMeriweather: "Huh."
Victoria pats Decarabia.
Randy_Carter: "Let's go say hello!"
Brer_Lapine: "Don't break the crime if you don't want to do the crime, Alex," The angel looked over at the demonic starfish. "Don't try to kill god either."
Randy_Carter: He starts toward the prison.
AlexMeriweather: "Don't... what?" >_>
AlexMeriweather: "Okay."
AlexMeriweather: Alex follows Randy.
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Meriweather is starting to fear his words of wisdom aren't getting through to his son!
AlexMeriweather: (oh dear.)
Brer_Lapine: (Such are the fears of a parent)
Randy_Carter: As soon as he's within earshot, Randy calls out "Hello, People of the Meat Dimension! I mean you no harm!"
Brer_Lapine: A bright spotlight points down on Randy from one of the guard towers and a metallic voice can be heard from a speaker fastened to the wall. "Are you here with the new prisoners?"
Randy_Carter: "No, we just stumbled in through a book in a library and we're looking for a way back! Could you help us?"
AlexMeriweather: "Maybe this isn't the best place to be."
Randy_Carter: "Did you see that, they have a spotlight - I wonder if they have guns, and if their guns shoot meat"
Randy_Carter: "I meat rifle would be so cool!"
Brer_Lapine: "YOU ARE WELCOME HERE."
Randy_Carter: "See? We're welcome here! Nothing to worry about, I'm sure they'll worship us as gods - my grand-dad says that's what ignorant natives always do to their arriving conquerers"
Victoria: ...this probably isn't good.
Victoria: 'I don't like the sound of this..."
Brer_Lapine: The meat gate swings outward and inside a chain link fence slides back revealing an immaculately clean meat courtyard.
Victoria: Didn't bad things always happen in books with this?
Randy_Carter: ...if by bad, you mean awesome. Randy starts walking toward the gat.e
Randy_Carter: gate*
Brer_Lapine: Yes but how often does reality follow fiction, am I right?
Victoria: It sometimes does?
Brer_Lapine: I like the sounds of those odds!
Brer_Lapine: The interior of the meat prison is just as beautiful as the outside, it looks like modern architecture with all the beauties of modern prison life except it is composed of meat. Areas of the yard are divided from each other with chain linked fences that are full of natives in white prison jump suits.
Randy_Carter: "Are those fences made out of sausage?"
Brer_Lapine: Seems to be!
Victoria: ...ewwww
Victoria: Victoria is so tired of meat. :/
Randy_Carter: Ace isn't :D
Brer_Lapine: A tall and skinny man in a blue officer's uniform is waiting by the main entrance with two non-descript security guards.
Brer_Lapine: I do mean non-descript, they literally lack faces they just have hats hiding their eyes and the rest of their face just looks like a nice cut of steak.
Randy_Carter: "So, umm...after we get out of this, how about we get some granola bars and a smoothie?" and Randy will never eat at Magruder's again.
Randy_Carter: "That's just disturbing"
Brer_Lapine: The tall man standing between the two of them adjusts his own dark blue cap and seems suspiciously british even from this distance.
Victoria: ...how suspiciously british?
Brer_Lapine: He is like some kind of 6 foot tall british leprechaun.
AlexMeriweather: "My mom makes good granola bars and smoothies?" <_<
Randy_Carter: "I wonder if they have giant magic balls that will eat us if we try to run for it..."
Brer_Lapine: There is a wet, meaty sound behind the cast as the gate closes.
Randy_Carter: "Let me guess. This was a trap?"
Victoria: "Looks like it."
Brer_Lapine: "Of course not, govner. Seeing open portals just happens to make the prisoners a bit on edge." The tall man is britishing at you. :(
AlexMeriweather: "Your dog can probably still eat them all, though, I bet."
Randy_Carter: ..you'd think those were clearly marked.
Randy_Carter: "I'm not the governor. I'm the...uhh...Minister of Agriculture, here for an inspection. Well, everything looks fine, we'll just be leaving..."
Brer_Lapine: He slowly waves a single finger. "Fraid the warden wants a word with you, isn't often we get visitors around these parts and he just loves the children."
Randy_Carter: "This is some great Agriculture you guys have here"
Randy_Carter: "Can't be helped, really. I've got...golf...yeah...golf with the Minister of Education"
11:20 PM
Randy_Carter: "And Teddy Roosevelt"
Brer_Lapine: "Sides," he sniffs. "We don't got no ministry of agriculture."
Randy_Carter: "It's a new department. That's why I'm so young"
Brer_Lapine: The way he pronounces agriculture is almost physically painful.
Brer_Lapine: (AHAGREEDKULTTURE)
Randy_Carter: (That IS physically painful)
Victoria winces at how he pronounces it.
AlexMeriweather: "You haven't heard of the Ministry of Agriculture?" Alex peers disdainfully at the British man.
AlexMeriweather: "What sort of inbred pig-pen are you running here?"
Randy_Carter: "But really, we can't keep Mr. Roosevelt waiting. If you'd just point us to the nearest magical gateway, we'll be out of your...errr...hair?"
Brer_Lapine: "The name is Shank. I make things run here all nice and lean," He sniffs the air for a second which is also a terrible sound. "Clean the gristle off, if you know what I mean."
Randy_Carter: "...I can only imagine in the depths of my worst nightmares, what exactly you mean by that statement" See? Randy knows words.
Brer_Lapine: Everything about this dimension is terrible, it was okay and then it just got british and everything was suddenly terrible.
Victoria: ...it was terrible since the beginning.
Victoria: and Victoria just wants to leave.
Brer_Lapine: But now it's terrible and british.
Victoria: Noooooooooo.
Brer_Lapine: Cockney British.
Victoria: D:
Brer_Lapine: SUFFER.
AlexMeriweather: "Ugh. Let's just go." :<
Brer_Lapine: "Go see the warden? I think this is a capital idea!"
Randy_Carter: "I'm sure your Warden is very nice and all, but he's not Teddy Roosevelt, so - again - if you'll show us to the nearest magical gateway, we'll just go on our way, and this doesn't have to get any more unpleasant than standing in a giant building made out of steak already is,"
Randy_Carter crosses his fingers and hopes they don't know Teddy Roosevelt is dead.
Victoria: Obviously they were going to go see zombie Teddy Roosevelt.
Randy_Carter doesn't want to play the zombie Roosevelt card unless he absolutely has to. It's never pretty.
Brer_Lapine: "Look I gots a proposition for you." He examined his sausage hands which looked a lot like fingers. "You agree to everything I say and I won't have to haunt your dreams with my voice for the rest of your life."
Randy_Carter: "Too late"
Randy_Carter bites his lip. What would Indiana Jones do right now?
Brer_Lapine: Whip something, get the girl, run away from people with spears, KALI MA! KALI MA! KALI MA!
AlexMeriweather: :<
Brer_Lapine: "That's a shame, Warden Heart is going be so disappointed and he cries when he is disappointed."
AlexMeriweather: "You're a horrible little greasy man and I hate you."
Brer_Lapine: "At least I don't have all that fatty skin covering my body!"
Brer_Lapine: Ace likes fatty skin :D
Victoria: "At least I don't have a voice as impossibly irritating as yours."
Randy_Carter: "Ace. Remember how I told you, you shouldn't bark loud around people?"
Brer_Lapine: Ace remembers, those old people looked so sad :(
Brer_Lapine: "Well at least I'm not arguing with someone so obnoxiously british!"
Randy_Carter: "You can forget that for the next five seconds. Bark as loud as you want"
AlexMeriweather: "You're not even actually British! You're from some crazy alternate sausage dimension!"
Victoria covers her ears.
AlexMeriweather: ...Eep! Alex does too.
Randy_Carter: (Using "Those Aren't Tentacles At All" to unleash a chorus of unearthly howls in order to hopefully intimidate the Salisbury Steak)
Brer_Lapine: (Alright roll it)
Randy_Carter: !roll_ore 5
The_Lady: Randy_Carter invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 3, 6, 6, 7, 9
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x6, 1x9, 1x7, 1x3
Brer_Lapine: Shank's face goes from smug and meaty to horrified and meaty as Ace's howling awakes some primal emotion deep within him.
Brer_Lapine: "M-My voice sounds like that?! N-NO MAKE IT STOP! MAKE THE VOICES STOP!"
Victoria: You cannot escape the voices!
Randy_Carter: "You want him to be quiet? Tell us how to get out of here!"
Brer_Lapine: Shank claws at his own head and his eyes grow wide in hysteria. The next few moments may scare the children off meat forever or at least make them strongly shy away from junior-varsity barbecues . Shank rips off his own uniform and the small boney cuts of meat that make up his body fall to the ground in a heap.
AlexMeriweather: Alex hides behind Victoria.
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Meriweather hides behind Alex.
Victoria: ...ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Victoria: D:
Brer_Lapine: Decarabia can taste it from here.
Randy_Carter: "...oops."
Randy_Carter: "Anyone else got any ideas on how to get out of here?"
Brer_Lapine: Ace is mildly put off his appetite :D
Brer_Lapine: ...Okay he is hungry again!
Victoria: "Oh well. :D"
Victoria: ...wait a minute.
Victoria: "Decarabia, can you pull us back home?"
Brer_Lapine: "...Yes."
Brer_Lapine: "...Yes, I can."
Victoria: ...Victoria feels really dumb now. :(
Randy_Carter: "Yay! Your giant starfish guy is almost as cool as Ace!"
Victoria: This is not a feeling she is used to.
Brer_Lapine: Decarabia is a brighter shade of orange than usual and refuses to meet the stare of the Guardian Angel who is smiling at him.
AlexMeriweather: "Thank you, Mister Decarabia."
Brer_Lapine: "Welle, I trulye am greate."
Victoria: !roll_ore 10
The_Lady: Victoria invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 2, 3, 3, 4, 6, 6, 7, 9, 10, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x6, 2x3, 2x10, 1x9, 1x7, 1x4, 1x2
Brer_Lapine: Being truly great and mighty, the Marquis has no problem rending the very existence of the meat dimension in two to open a small tunnel back to the real world.
Brer_Lapine: Or at least the non-meat world.
Victoria really wants to stab a god or two now. :/ her hands are greasy and smell bad, her sweater is ruined (nevermind that it was ugly), her hair is full of grease and she actually shampooed it with the nice shampoo this morning.
AlexMeriweather: Alex waits for other people to go through first.
Victoria: And her paperback book has grease on the pages.
Victoria: This annoys her the most.
Brer_Lapine: For those who enter the tunnel, they find themselves back in town outside of the arcade. Which is a pristine den of wholesome electronic blips and bloops from the early 90s, it is also closed which suggests that it is probably late at night and you wasted your saturday in a dimension of meat and terrible racist sterotypes of british people.
AlexMeriweather: ":<"
Victoria: ...:(
Brer_Lapine: This is the worst saturday, this saturday is even worse than the one where you had to go to the dentist and he was all "I HAVE TO DRILL YOUR TEETH!"
Brer_Lapine: "Son, I think we should go home and eat popcorn and grapes."
AlexMeriweather: "Why popcorn and grapes?"
Brer_Lapine: "Because I was marinating brisket before we left."
Victoria: ...Victoria never wants to see another brisket again.
AlexMeriweather: Alex shudders.
Brer_Lapine: It should be noted that Mr. Meriweather doesn't eat meat and reportedly he cried trying to eat fried chicken on his first date with your mom, but that doesn't stop him from preparing it.
Randy_Carter: "So....granola from now on, agreed?"
Victoria: "Agreed."
Brer_Lapine: Ace feels a terrible emptiness inside him like he has been robbed of something beautiful and endless.
Randy_Carter: "Except for you, Ace. You can still eat all the meat you want"
Brer_Lapine: :DDDDDDDD
Brer_Lapine: ACE LIKES FLESH!
Brer_Lapine: And that was a happy end to a terrible, no-good, and possibly life altering day.
AlexMeriweather: "Granola is good."
Brer_Lapine: Twenty miles away and three hours earlier Beatrice and the young man with her watch the sunset but that is a story for a different day.
'So you say your name is Ulysses,
that you're wandering around the world.
Tell me sir, have you ever been arrested before?'

This is the worst thing. -bassist159

Here there be dragons.
 
User avatar
The Purples
Essence 5
Essence 5
Topic Author
Posts: 527
Joined: 06 May 2006, 22:39
Title: Goddamn Purples
Exalt: Solar
Fighting Style: The Purple.
Artifact: 800080
Location: The Purple.
Contact:

Re: Tales of Eighth Grade Nothings (MAOCT)

06 Jan 2010, 13:49

Adventure #3, Session #1 - Monsters and Other Interpersonal Relationship Issues OR The Castro And Other Big Gay Adventures

Adventure Cast:
Randy Carter and Ace the Miracle Hound
Victoria Manning and Decarabia
Alex Meriweather and Alex's Dad
Hitoshi Gilespi and CLANK-O-TRON
Beatrice Gottlieb and Forneus

TL;DR- I don't know how many of you ate school lunch but that was basically the worst thing ever, it always had some semi-gelatinous sauce and now that I know how to make most the sauces they used I'm always quite astounded by the consistency of the sauces used within school lunches. I can neither confirm nor deny the presence of starving children in africa lines either, though considering the moral paragons that seem to befriend otherworldly entities maybe it will come up at a later date! Mostly this session was an excuse to write a bunch of bad romance lines in funny accents and you should read it for that alone. Also, the children decide to travel to San Francisco.


Brer_Lapine: BEHOLD! The School Meatloaf Lunch Spectacular a banal beast of filler and mysterious government meat, roughly an ounce of edible cow flesh, a snout of salted pork, three dead cockroaches (finely ground), two wilted lettuce leaves hand picked by migrant workers, two halves of orange that have been covered in gravy, three types of tater tots, two kinds of vegetable oil and a carton of milk!
AlexMeriweather: This is why Alex usually begs his mom to let him take a bag lunch.
AlexMeriweather: Oranges with gravy is morally wrong.
Brer_Lapine: All of this lovingly defrosted by a super efficient team of food technicians and microwave engineers. Provided free by a government program that required the school to provide a free and nutritional substitute for human nutrition. It is tuesday, it is lunch time, and you should eat it because there are starving children in africa.
Victoria: Victoria feels sorry for the starving children in Africa.
Hitoshi: Hitoshi would not eat that if it was the last food on the planet.
Hitoshi: He would sooner starve than eat sub-par cooking.
Victoria: In fact, she would happily send the starving children in Africa this food.
Victoria: ...however she is not eating this
Brer_Lapine: The gravy looks sad.
Brer_Lapine: Sad like only a starch based sauce covering citrus fruit in a white styrofoam container could look sad.
Beatrice: There is a new student at the lunch table today. She is petite and pretty and wears a very unnecasarilly lacy dress currently currently being slightly dirtied by the detritus of semi-organic matter that seems to plague every cafeteria.
Brer_Lapine: It's a bubbly kind of melancholy.
Victoria draws sad faces in the gravy. Very precise lines.
Brer_Lapine: It's a colloid kind of blues.
AlexMeriweather: Alex is mildly afraid of the gravy.
Victoria is also reading a book and being careful to not get gravy on it. in fact, she has covered the pages with plastic wrap that she moves every time she turns a page.
AlexMeriweather: He will distract himself by being social. "Hello," he says to the new person. :3
Beatrice: Her hair is wavy, and the burnished bronze of a murderous thugee cultist's dagger, and she has sparkling blue eyes that should belong maybe to a princess, but more likely to a murder-crazed Teutonic barbarian of ancient days.
Beatrice: "Good day," she says with a beautifully disconcerting smile.
Brer_Lapine: Randy is not at the table today, he has important popular kid things to deal with.
AlexMeriweather: Alex blinks in confusion.
AlexMeriweather: "My name's Alex. What's yours?"
Victoria: "Hello~"
Beatrice: "I say, this is must unusual cuisine." She regards it with mild interest, but is instead eating something fancy her butler packed for her.
Victoria doesn't look up from the occult text.
Beatrice: "Beatrice Gottliebe."
Beatrice: (...Most unusual.)
AlexMeriweather: "Oh. Yeah, the food here is terrible."
Beatrice: "I must bring a sample of this to Hans. He mentioned something about needing grout cleaner."
AlexMeriweather: Alex probably has something really strange like half a spinach and bean sprout sandwich on bread that smells like God himself came down from the heavens to grant it as a boon to mortals.
Hitoshi: A new boy, a short young man with dark hair and glasses, takes one glance at the lunch line and the food before deciding to ignore it. He looks over the eighth grade tables for any sign of an empty space, preferably a solitary one.
AlexMeriweather: He chuckles at Beatrice's joke. At least, he hopes that's a joke. Though it might fit.
Beatrice: In the meanwhile, Beatrice is glancing at Victoria's book. "What intriguing literature you are reading."
Victoria: "It's very interesting." Victoria says cheerfully.
Victoria: ...it's the Lesser Key of Solomon
Brer_Lapine: It has been a surprisingly monster free kind of day. Decarabia has been busy important librarian related duties and Mr. Merriweather recently picked up an old hobby of gardening again.
Beatrice: "I believe I have seen a copy of that in my father's study." She smiles.
AlexMeriweather: Yaaay~
Victoria: "Have you ever read any of it?"
Beatrice: If Forneus does not bid her greeting today she will not be pleased.
Beatrice: "Indeed I have. A most engrossing text."
AlexMeriweather: Alex looks between Victoria and Beatrice, listening with quiet interest.
Hitoshi: After a few moments, the young man gives up on finding a seat alone and takes the nearest seat available. He takes out his backpack and drops his math homework unceremoniously on the table.
Victoria: "It is. Though I wonder how much was lost in translation."
Beatrice: "I could not imagine. Linguistics is not my forte."
AlexMeriweather: Alex looks over to the new boy and waves politely.
Beatrice looks over with polite interest.
Hitoshi glances up at the others around him.
AlexMeriweather: "Another new person? Nice to meet you."
AlexMeriweather: Alex is positively chipper.
Victoria: "It would be really interesting to compare." Victoria tilts her head birdlike to regard the new boy. "Hello~"
Brer_Lapine: Clank-O-Tron does not fit within the primitive confines of the gluttontorium, he has taken to sulking behind the gym during lunch time. Mostly he just calculates digits but once in a while a small disney'esque animal will wander over to him and give the opportunity to show the strange juxtaposition between his gentle personality and efficient destructive form, he will then take the opportunity to CRUSH and EVISCERATE it.
Randy_Carter has joined the channel
Hitoshi: "Hello." Hitoshi starts back on his homework.
Beatrice: "It is as father says. Immigration is holding sway even here." Which she means in the kindest possible nice-to-meet-you-how-are-you way to the newcomer.
Brer_Lapine: Randy: You are currently busy with official popular kid things at the board table but after Amelia Smith finishes reading the minutes you can probably leave forever.
Hitoshi: Hitoshi glances up at Beatrice incredulously. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Victoria peeks at the homework.
Randy_Carter feeds Ace a drumstick under the table.
Beatrice: "It means good day, how are you. You are quite enamoured of numerics aren't you?"
Brer_Lapine: Ace likes government meat shaped into fanciful forms :D
Hitoshi: "Math is easy and has a finite structure
Hitoshi: "I would not by any means say I am 'enamoured' of it."
Beatrice: It may be of note how strange the immigration remark sounded in light of her audible German accent, but Father says it is "relocating assets" which is a rather different process.
Randy_Carter waits until Amelia stops talking about Important Stuff and launches into her normal fifty minute rant about her crush on the captain of the Lucreball Team and wanders over to Victoria's table with Ace "Hi everybody? Who's the new kid? Are you going to eat that square slice of pizza?"
Victoria: "Hi. :D"
Randy_Carter: "Umm...hi Victoria!"
Beatrice: "Hello." Turning adorable and vaguely glassy eyes on the newcomer.
Brer_Lapine: You can not comprehend the true nature of the square slice of pizza's attack but it has already disappeared by the time introductions are over.
Hitoshi: Hitoshi's entire acknowledgment of his appearance is a brief glance upward.
Hitoshi: Hitoshi then returns to math.
AlexMeriweather: "Hi, Randy."
AlexMeriweather: "This is Beatrice, and this is Hitoshi." He gestures to each of them respectively.
Randy_Carter: "Ace says that math is ultimately meaningless, since it's an attempt by our limited minds to conceptualize a reality that we can barely perceive," he steals a couple of fries off of Alex's plate by way of greeting.
Brer_Lapine: Ace likes cosmic nihilism :D
AlexMeriweather: Alex is not sure how the fries got there, but he's glad Randy took them.
Beatrice: "Indeed, but mother often calls me Trish, Bea, or Parasite."
AlexMeriweather: "Do you want the rest of this?" He offers the meat-based thingy to Randy.
Hitoshi: "That just sounds like another way of saying you're stupid."
Brer_Lapine: ICEBURN.
Randy_Carter is not one to turn down food, even cafeteria food.
Randy_Carter: "Hey, are you calling my dog stupid?"
AlexMeriweather: ...Alex looks between Beatrice, Hitoshi, and Randy, and inwardly groans.
Beatrice: "You may have mine as well, as I am eating Hungarian goulash instead."
AlexMeriweather: "Uhm, there's no reason to..."
Hitoshi: "No, I'm saying your dog is calling you stupid."
Brer_Lapine: The tremendous scale of this iceburn suddenly silences the entire cafeteria.
AlexMeriweather: His jaw drops. Just a bit. And then it closes, because that's rude.
Brer_Lapine: Few people can understand quite the cosmic scale of this iceburn that has just emerged from Hitoshi's mouth but the smack that just got laid is enough to squelch the meaningless interactions of middle-schoolers.
Brer_Lapine: For you see, Hitoshi had just insulted the MVP of Robert Harrison Blake Middle School
Randy_Carter: "...."
Victoria: ..."...oh dear." Victoria says mildly.
AlexMeriweather: "Please don't kill each other." Alex holds his hands up to his mouth.
Brer_Lapine: Ace uh... :(
Hitoshi: "I have no intention of killing anyway."
AlexMeriweather: "I kind of like Randy and you're, uhm. Gosh."
Beatrice: Not one to grasp the context of this situation, Beatrice politely chimes in with "Mother once told me all those rats called her stupid, so I'm sure it was a mere faux pas on the brute's part."
AlexMeriweather: Alex has no idea what to say to that.
Brer_Lapine: It's like a mexican stand off but few children in this cafeteria had ever seen the classic westerns and when Beatrice had gone to her parent's resort home in Mexico it had been simply dull.
Beatrice: Quite so.
Hitoshi: Hitoshi pushes up his glasses and returns to his homework.
Randy_Carter looks at Ace, then back at Hitoshi, then back at Ace, the camera zooming closer on his eyes every time.
Brer_Lapine: The lunch bell rings.
AlexMeriweather: Phew.
AlexMeriweather: Alex holds out one of the gravy-ridden oranges to Ace, hoping to make friends with the hypoteneuse of the problem.
Victoria puts a bookmark in her book and closes it, holding it reverently to her chest.
Beatrice: "It was delightful meeting all of you," says Beatrice who has weathered many an awkward silence and could probably recite a few verbatim.
AlexMeriweather: "You too, Beatrice." ^^;
Randy_Carter: "Umm..Victoria...what's that book you have there?'
Hitoshi: Hitoshi sweeps his math book into his bag and swings it onto his shoulder.
Brer_Lapine: Alex finds his hand up to his elbow engulfed in the canine as a multitude of sensory organs lick it clean.
Beatrice packs up her materials delicately.
Hitoshi: ....Dogs are disgusting. This is why Hitoshi is a cat person.
Victoria: "A translation of the Lesser Key of Solomon."
Beatrice: "A most novel read."
AlexMeriweather: "Gah!"
Brer_Lapine: Ace likes woodpulp.
Brer_Lapine: :D
Randy_Carter: "Oh...neat"
AlexMeriweather: Alex attempts to remove his arm from the dog's mouth.
AlexMeriweather: Preferably intact.
Randy_Carter: "Ace, what have I told you about eating my friends..." he chides.
Brer_Lapine: Ace lets go and leaves behind a gooey cadmium yellow residue on Alex's arm.
Randy_Carter: "Besides, I thought you preferred Asian food,"
Brer_Lapine: Cadmium is the color found at the heart of everything on the 11th mission of the Challenger shuttle.
Brer_Lapine: Ace likes preference :D
AlexMeriweather: Alex shakes off his arm in the direction of the wall, shoulders his bag with his other arm, and goes to find a sink to wash it off in.
Randy_Carter: "So, I was thinking we should do something after school,"
Victoria: "Oh?"
AlexMeriweather: "Oh?"
Randy_Carter: "Yes! It's been a while since we've had...an adventure!"
Hitoshi: Hitoshi is Not Remotely Interested. He is, however, tying his shoe nearby.
Beatrice: "Oh, how enthralling. I shall partake." Not a request.
AlexMeriweather: "Yes, let's invite the new people along too."
Victoria: "What sort of adventure?"
AlexMeriweather: He looks at Hitoshi and smiles. "It'll be fun."
Randy_Carter: "Yeah, Hitoshi should totally come with us"
Hitoshi: Hitoshi stares at Randy. "You're sure you want me there?"
Randy_Carter: "Of course :D"
Hitoshi: "And what, exactly, does this so-called adventure entail?"
Randy_Carter: "Well, last time we fought a swarm of monsters made out of meat, and the time before that some guys in a van told us they had candy, but then we got in their van and they didn't have candy and so I had Ace eat them"
Hitoshi: "...Right."
AlexMeriweather: "It's been fun. Mostly."
AlexMeriweather: "I never want to eat meatloaf again."
AlexMeriweather: "Ever."
Randy_Carter: "I became a vegan :D"
Beatrice: "Oh, is this what American youth call 'toking' then? I would be delighted to try."
Hitoshi: "I can't imagine wanting to eat meatloaf at all."
AlexMeriweather: Alex takes Hitoshi's hand and beams at him. "C'mon. You look like the sort of person who needs friends."
Brer_Lapine: Clank-O-Tron perked up. HUMAN KINDNESS SENSORS ACTIVATED.
Randy_Carter: "My brother Robert makes an awesome meatloaf, but he's gay so my mom doesn't let me spend time with him"
Hitoshi: Hitoshi...looks positively taken aback and has no response to that other than to stare at Alex.
AlexMeriweather: "...That's not very nice of your mom."
AlexMeriweather: "No offense." :<
Victoria: "That's very sad. :("
Randy_Carter: "Yeah, I have three brothers and two sisters, but they're all gay, so I never get to see them ;_;"
Beatrice: "Father explains that is a perfectly normal relationship between a gentleman and his stablehand or your mother and her personal groomer, though. How ignorant of her."
Victoria: "Maybe we should visit them"
Hitoshi: "That's...unusual."
Randy_Carter: "We should!"
Brer_Lapine: The five minute bell rang, it is like other bells but this one came with the threat of detention and tardiness penalties.
Randy_Carter: "Let's visit my siblings!"
AlexMeriweather: "...Yes. Yes, maybe we should."
Brer_Lapine: (ADVENTURE ACCEPTED!)
AlexMeriweather: "After class?"
Beatrice: "Victoria, I am quite interested in studying this phenomena. Being a woman of words, does the Goetia allude to this?"
Beatrice: "But yes, let's go to class that we may evade corporal punishment." Shrugging off the previous statement, but we can just let it hang creepily in the air if you'd like.
AlexMeriweather: Alex hurries to class, still holding Hitoshi's hand, though he may be going to a different class.
Randy_Carter: "Corporal Punishment? I met that guy once. He's mean -_-"
Hitoshi: Hitoshi is still too baffled by this strange person to actually do anything. "I have English next, I think that's in the other direction--"
Randy_Carter briefly considers trying to get away with holding Victoria's hand.
Beatrice ponders the same, but will settle for following people around.
AlexMeriweather: "O- oh. I'm sorry." Alex lets go.
Victoria: "It may allude to it in a place or two in the text, but those listed in the Goetia know many things that may not be attributed to them."
Victoria is cuddling her book.
Victoria: So no hand-holding.
Beatrice: "How intriguing."
AlexMeriweather: "See you." He waves.
Hitoshi: "Um. Right." He pauses. "Aren't you in my History class?"
Brer_Lapine: Homeroom is fifth period, it used to be earlier in the day but the teacher never came and then it was later but Ms. Merles had a nervous breakdown. So now it is fifth period and your new instructor in the art of home rooming is a nervous man by the name of Mr. Plisken.
AlexMeriweather: (...oh god.)
AlexMeriweather: Home room it is, then.
Hitoshi: Homeroom, so Alex is probably still tugging Hitoshi around.
Brer_Lapine: Hitoshi had a blessed week of not being in their homeroom but that ended today.
Brer_Lapine: Beatrice this has been your home room all along but there are so many more important things than coming to a school for commoners.
Hitoshi: "What sort of a school has homeroom for fifth period?"
Brer_Lapine: Robert Harrison Blake Middle School!
Victoria: "A very strange and disorganized one."
Randy_Carter: "They have to keep moving it around or Alex's step-dad will show up and try to teach it"
Hitoshi: "...What."
AlexMeriweather: "The sort of school that assigns ten page papers the first weekend, doesn't notice when we're gone half a day, and serves oranges with gravy. ...And oh god, don't say his name! It'll summon him or something." D:
AlexMeriweather: "Isn't that how it works?" He looks to Victoria.
Victoria: "True Names are the most usual way to summon such an entity. Other names might serve depending on the other variables in such a process."
Randy_Carter: "He's not so bad, Alex. Maybe this time I'll convince him to show me his lightsaber"
Victoria wishes Decarabia would finish his Very Important Duties. :/
Victoria: or maybe just come say hello. :/
Beatrice: "Following someone around is a gesture of friendship and good faith."
Hitoshi: "Or stalking."
Beatrice: "Mother says that is a word uttered only by those that lack personal devotion."
AlexMeriweather: Alex rubs the back of his neck. "He's nicer when he's not around all the time."
AlexMeriweather: "I know he means well, but... you know."
Beatrice: "That is understandable."
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Pliskin's classroom and office are both located on the third floor of the school. All of the classrooms look the same but this one is special because not all the classrooms have a teacher trying to actively live out of them.
AlexMeriweather: Alex looks worriedly over Mr. Pliskin's living space.
Beatrice: Ah, he must be a serf.
Victoria: ...he must be dedicated.
Hitoshi: He must be homeless.
AlexMeriweather: He must be mentally ill, wanting to spend more time here than necessary.
AlexMeriweather: Poor man.
Randy_Carter: "How's it going, Mr. Pliskin?"
Hitoshi: Hitoshi idly wonders, if the school can't bother to pay its employees enough to have decent living space or edible food, what the hell they're spending their budget on.
Brer_Lapine: The windows have all been covered by various wall hangings. One of the rows of desks had been removed in favor of an old couch that had been removed from the teacher's lounge and the teacher's desk had a nice table cloth on it.
Randy_Carter: "Oh, I forgot to tell you guys! The coach bought the entire soccer team new shoes and uniforms, and a bus with a bathroom and satellite radio in it!"
AlexMeriweather: "...Wow."
Beatrice: "Impressive."
Hitoshi snorts.
Randy_Carter: "He says they're still under budget though, so he's thinking about having a riot control water cannon installed for the really loud parents"
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Pliskin himself was a skinny guy with blonde hair and spoke with a vague british accent that brought back unpleasant memories.
AlexMeriweather: Alex looks a little disturbed and finds a place in the front row to sit.
Victoria: ...:/
Brer_Lapine: Agriculture.
Randy_Carter: "..."
AlexMeriweather: "..." n.n
Hitoshi: Hitoshi takes a seat near Alex.
Victoria: :(
Beatrice sits next to Victoria for now, she seems interesting.
Victoria finds herself a seat.
Randy_Carter also sits next to Victoria.
AlexMeriweather: Alex smiles at Victoria.
Brer_Lapine: "H-hello class, if you happen to have any listening devices on your body I'd like you to remove them for the duration of this class. Additionally, any government agents or contacts with governmental control, I'll need you to stay after class."
Victoria smiles in a friendly fashion back at Alex.
Hitoshi: ...Hitoshi does have an aunt in the FBI. Like hell if he's going to say it, though.
Brer_Lapine: The rest of the class filters in, they are largely non-descript but may someday become more interesting in the future. "Today I thought we could start with picking a novel for our class pro..." Pliskin stops talking as a newcomer enters the classroom.
Brer_Lapine: The man is large and there is something impressive and majestic about him. He smells like a movie star...
Beatrice: Ooooh, how intriguing.
AlexMeriweather: Alex blinks.
Brer_Lapine: "Excuse me sir but you can't come in here, I'm in the middle of teaching."
Brer_Lapine: "I have come for Beatrice."
Brer_Lapine: "Does she have an early dismissal?"
Brer_Lapine: "No, I am simply going to sit with her and make remarks about her peers."
Brer_Lapine: "I'm sorry but you can't be... would you please stop flexing your pecs."
Brer_Lapine: "I'm not flexing anything, they naturally do that~"
AlexMeriweather: ...Alex whimpers slightly under his breath.
Beatrice: Forneus!
Beatrice: "Ah! There you are!"
Beatrice: "I would be delighted to do so, please take a seat."
Victoria curiously watches. Her book is open in front of her.
Brer_Lapine: Forneus: "Beatrice, such a sterling of times I have located you in."
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Pliskin: "Sir, would you at least take a seat..."
Brer_Lapine: Forneus: "Such flowering effervescence I feel, I could pontificate for hours."
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Pliskin: "...Please?"
Brer_Lapine: Forneus: "This day I frankly feel that I have gone through a metempsychosis, a new Forneus for a new age!"
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Pliskin: "...Sir... I even scheduled a library visit."
Brer_Lapine: Forneus: "Ah, is someone else talking?"
Victoria: "...Library visit? :D"
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Pliskin: "For the class project."
AlexMeriweather: Alex just stares at the pretty man.
Beatrice: "Oh, I would be delighted to attend! It is so good you showed, I would not want anything regretful" This is said in an oddly reproachful tone possibly acommpanied by a scare chord "to happen."
Hitoshi: "...Did someone bring to life Jane Austen characters?" Hitoshi whispers to Alex, nodding to the newcomer.
AlexMeriweather: "Huh?" Alex glances at Hitoshi, then back to Forneus.
Hitoshi: Hitoshi sighs. "Nevermind."
AlexMeriweather: Glance. "Oh! Uhm. I'm sorry. ...Maybe?"
Brer_Lapine: "Now if everyone would please reactivate any surveillance devices on their persons we can leave."
Randy_Carter: "If they were Jane Austen characters, they'd all be women and like ten times more annoying"
Hitoshi: Hitoshi glances around to see if there actually are people with surveillance devices.
Beatrice: "Oh, splendour of splendours!" She embraces Forneus like some large sparkly teddie bear.
Victoria: "Not *all* Jane Austen heroines are annoying. Just most of them~"
Victoria hugs her book and happily skips up out of her chair.
Hitoshi: "Not all Jane Austen characters are women."
Hitoshi: "Unless you are insinuating things about Mr. Darcy...?"
Randy_Carter watches Victoria skip, completely ignoring Hitoshi.
AlexMeriweather: Alex grabs his books again. Maybe there's something interesting in the library.
Brer_Lapine: "Oh, grace of graces!" The large man had a palpable glow around him as he spun Beatrice.
Randy_Carter: "Mr. Darcy? The shop teacher?"
AlexMeriweather: "D'you like books?" he asks Hitoshi.
Beatrice beams!
Hitoshi: ...Hitoshi is even more convinced that Randy is an idiot. "I like /good/ books."
Beatrice: "Do you believe you shall meet your comrade again? He sounds most interesting."
AlexMeriweather: "Oh. Like what?" He smiles at the boy again.
Victoria kind of ignores everyone else and begins making her way to the library.
Hitoshi: "Lord of the Rings, a few different King Arthur books... Harry Potter was ok... Oh, and Machievelli's The Prince."
Randy_Carter follows Victoria to the library.
Randy_Carter: "Then why are you reading Jane Austen?"
AlexMeriweather: "Oh. Fantasy stuff." He seems slightly disappointed, then perks up. "I read The Prince."
AlexMeriweather: "It's neat."
AlexMeriweather: Alex follows the crowd.
Beatrice follows them both, somewhat piggybacking on her handsome familiar.
Hitoshi: "Jane Austen is alright. For romances, at least."
Brer_Lapine: "A blight upon these interminable days that are filled with an emptiness that is only filled by my most trusted paramour! Ah, Machievelli a most astute learner and my most beautiful apprentice..."
Beatrice: "Tell me of your nights with him some day."
AlexMeriweather: "You... met him?" Alex looks at Forneus. "I'd like to hear, if you wouldn't mind."
Hitoshi: "Of course he hasn't met him, he's probably some uncle that has yet to be put in an insane asylum where he belongs." Grumble grumble.
Beatrice smiles at Alex from her perch on Forneus, whom she is clinging to like some frilly rock monkey.
Brer_Lapine: "Ah yes I can tell you much. You see the italians have a way of loving that is..." Forneus pushed open the door to the library.
Victoria skips into the library. Books. <3 and Decarabia is somewhere in here, too.
AlexMeriweather: "...Oh." That's not what Alex meant, but he's now far too embarassed to say anything.
Hitoshi: Hitoshi goes off prowling through the library.
Brer_Lapine: "Forneus!" The librarian had been pushing a cart of books for the class to choose from when Victoria had come into the room.
Brer_Lapine: "...My inamoroto!"
Randy_Carter finds a copy of the 1001 Nights on the cart and plops down in a chair somewhere.
Victoria gives Decarabia a hug.
Beatrice decides to get a better look at this librarian.
AlexMeriweather: Alex skitters off away from the demon and the other thing to go find something to read that preferably has nothing to do with anything involving pretty men or Italy at all.
Brer_Lapine: "Forneuse, howe dare you showe your face to me!"
Brer_Lapine: "I see you still have the speech impediment."
Brer_Lapine: "IT ISE NOT AN IMPEDIMENTE!"
Hitoshi: Hitoshi grabs a book of Kafka short stories and sits somewhere between the shelves of the nonfiction section.
AlexMeriweather: He's starting to have a minor identity crisis, or something vaguely along those lines.
Beatrice: "Oh! Is this your partner, Forneus?" She seems very interested in this!
Randy_Carter feeds Ace dates...where did he get dates?
Brer_Lapine: "My Uranian gorgeousness..." Forneus is smiling in joy but the other demon seems more than a bit put off by this entire situation.
Victoria leans against the cart and picks up another book, juggling it and the Lesser Key as she watches the entire thing kind of confusedly. Demonic love affairs were kind of confusing. But ooh, another goetic demon.
AlexMeriweather: Dracula. There we go. Horror, no innuendo here.
Beatrice: Hopefully this interest will last for a while, and not turn into jealousy that Forneus or anyone really, isn't paying attention to her.
Brer_Lapine: "Gete oute of mye librariume! I woulde burne you if not fore the bookes."
Brer_Lapine: "My love, you reproach me with such harsh words and violent language..."
Brer_Lapine: "You playede withe my hearte fore the laste time!" Decarabia ran from the room crying. Actually that's a first even for Victoria...
Victoria: ...wow. O_O
Brer_Lapine: Ace likes libraries :D
Beatrice: "Oh, how tragic." She turns to Victoria and wibbles.
Victoria puts down the library book and goes running after Decarabia.
Beatrice: ...People keep ignoring her though, so she follows them.
Hitoshi: "It's like a soap opera set an insane asylum." Pause. "Actually, I think I saw one of those once. My cousin likes them." :/
Victoria: "Back in a few minutes, maybe, going to go talk to him." Victoria says back over her shoulder.
Randy_Carter puts down the book and the dates, and goes running after Victoria.
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Pliskin and the rest of the class just kind of watches in blank confusion. "Well I suppose we won't be checking out books today..."
AlexMeriweather: Alex is hiding. <_<
Randy_Carter grabs Alex on the way out.
Hitoshi: Hitoshi is also hiding, though for different reasons.
Randy_Carter sends Ace to find Hitoshi.
AlexMeriweather: "Ack! What happened?" He takes Dracula with him.
Brer_Lapine: Clank-O-Tron is hiding behind a shelf but as to how he got into the library is a mystery.
Hitoshi: Hitoshi glares at Clank-O-Tron. "You're not supposed to be in here. Go wait outside like a good robot."
Victoria: Now, where would Decarabia take off to?
Brer_Lapine: "Sardonic Statement: Make me."
AlexMeriweather: "Why'd the librarian run off..." Alex is confused.
Hitoshi: "...Whatever. If you get me in trouble, I'm letting my cousins play with you at Christmas."
Brer_Lapine: "Initiating Fear.exe... APPLICATION NOT FOUND."
Beatrice is following as best she can, at any rate, since it seems like the least boring thing currently occuring.
Hitoshi: Hitoshi continues on without him.
AlexMeriweather: Alex follows Randy, because, well, he's being dragged.
Hitoshi: Dang good for nothing malfunctioning robot.
Brer_Lapine: Decarabia is sulking in the auditorium as no one goes in there anyways so it is the perfect location for a good dramatic moment.
Victoria: "No one" evidently doesn't include Victoria.
Brer_Lapine: "Goe awaye, I'm sade!"
Brer_Lapine: Sad Starfish in the auditorium :(
Victoria gives the sad starfish a hug. "Um. Want to cry on my shoulder?"
Brer_Lapine: "Telle me I'm prettye."
AlexMeriweather: ...Poor sad demon. :<
Hitoshi: "...is this /normal/ for this school?"
Beatrice: "I certainly hope so."
AlexMeriweather: "Seems to be,"
Victoria: "You are very pretty.' Victoria really does think Decarabia is pretty. :D He is a very pretty starfish.
Beatrice: "At any rate, Forneus often spoke of you in tones most longing and purple." Beatrice offers cheerfully.
Randy_Carter: "And! On top of that, you running away like that got us out of class! So not only are you pretty, but you're also awesome"
AlexMeriweather: "You're very interesting," Alex attempts.
Hitoshi: "..."
Brer_Lapine: "I don'te care, it is alwayse aboute Forneus. He has the moste beautifule voice but doese he care aboute my needse?"
AlexMeriweather: "And you seem to be smart? And Victoria likes you, so that's a mark in your favor."
Randy_Carter: "And Ace thinks you're swell!'
Randy_Carter: "Don'cha Ace?"
Brer_Lapine: Ace likes seafood :D
Brer_Lapine: "Does he ever thinke of me? No! It is alwayse aboute Forneus."
Beatrice: "Well, he is most bombastic, but he cares very deeply about you. He has spoken of purchasing a quaint ranch in the Abyss with you."
Victoria just keeps hugging Decarabia. Romance of all kinds is something she has no idea about.
Brer_Lapine: "A quiete ranche?"
Brer_Lapine: "...A quiet ranch?"
Randy_Carter: "...a quiet ranch?"
Beatrice: "A quiet ranch."
Hitoshi: "In the Abyss." Deadpan. "It sounds like a charming place to live."
Beatrice: "It is."
Brer_Lapine: "Y-yes of course! Procuring a quiet ranch upon the abyssal depths just for the two of us."
Brer_Lapine: "Whate levele?"
Brer_Lapine: "Whichever level you like."
AlexMeriweather: Alex folds his arms. "Well. If he acts like it and doesn't just say so," he mumbles.
Beatrice: So romantic~
Brer_Lapine: "Oh Forneus..."
Brer_Lapine: "Decarabia..."
Brer_Lapine: "Forneus..."
Hitoshi: "Get a room." >_>
Randy_Carter: "This is a room!"
Hitoshi: "A different room."
Beatrice swoons.
Brer_Lapine: The starfish and muscular man embrace, it is very romantic.
Randy_Carter: "...."
AlexMeriweather: Alex looks uncomfortable.
Randy_Carter: "Okay, we're out of class. Who wants an ADVENTURE?"
Brer_Lapine: Ace likes adventure :D
AlexMeriweather: "This is going to be the theme of the day, isn't it."
Victoria just blinks confusedly.
AlexMeriweather: "Oh, why not."
Victoria: "Yes, an adventure. :D"
Hitoshi: "That sounds preferable."
Beatrice: "How entertaining. Come, Forneus, adventure awaits."
Hitoshi: "Clank-O-Tron!"
Brer_Lapine: "Risk and peril? Certainly a good way to spend a noonday!"
AlexMeriweather: Alex looks at Hitoshi. "Where'd you get a giant robot, anyway?"
Hitoshi: "My uncle found him at a garage sale."
AlexMeriweather: Blink.
Brer_Lapine: There is a terrible shuddering as one of the library walls is ripped open on the second floor and the robot comes leaping down to the auditorium.
AlexMeriweather: ...Alex now hides behind the boy that's even smaller than he is.
Randy_Carter: "..."
Hitoshi: "Doors, Clank-O-Tron."
Brer_Lapine: "ARE INFERIOR CONSTRUCTIONS."
Beatrice: "How proletarian."
Victoria: "...interesting,"
Randy_Carter: "That word"
Randy_Carter: "You keep using it"
Randy_Carter: "But I do not think it means what you think it means"
Beatrice: "Of or pertaining to the peasantry. It's quite a display of crudeness."
Randy_Carter: "I dunno."
Randy_Carter: "A giant robot breaking walls and stuff doesn't really sound all that...peasantish"
AlexMeriweather: "So where your siblings live, Randy?"
Beatrice: "It's unrefined and ill-mannered."
Hitoshi: "So is Prince Charles."
Beatrice: "You can understand this, being of the academy's gentry."
Brer_Lapine: "Retort: I am the very model citizen of manners, I do not constantly shed waste matter from a SMALL FLESHY BODY."
Randy_Carter: "Well, my brother Steve is in Cleveland, and my brother Robert is in San Francisco...and my sister David is here in town, and my sister Angela lives in a hippie pinko commune - according to my mom - and my other sister Helen lives in Troy, Idaho"
Hitoshi: "Your family sounds charming. How do you propose we get to Idaho?"
AlexMeriweather: "Huh. I guess... I guess we could see your sister here."
AlexMeriweather: "Then, if we can get to the meat dimension, who knows. That's probably near Cleveland."
Randy_Carter: "Victoria's starfish can take use to them, I think?"
Victoria: "There might be more of those dimensional-traveling books in the library~"
Randy_Carter: "He's very useful like that"
Brer_Lapine: The starfish seems a bit uh... preoccupied.
Victoria: "I think I can do it."
AlexMeriweather: "Mister Decarabia, could you take us to see- nevermind." Alex turns to look at something else now.
Randy_Carter: "Good!"
Randy_Carter: "There we go"
Randy_Carter: "Now we have a plan!"
Victoria is very pointedly not looking at her starfish.
Beatrice: It's so romantic~
Brer_Lapine: And it's perfectly natural.
AlexMeriweather: "That sounds good."
AlexMeriweather: Alex is back to being very embarassed and wondering if they can leave now.
Hitoshi: "So who are we going to see first? Brother Steve, Sister David, Helen of Troy...?"
Brer_Lapine: It's like kids have never seen a man and a starfish cuddle before.
Randy_Carter: "I dunno...flip a coin?"
Victoria concentrates, seeing if she can replicate the thing Decarabia does. Not with the fire, the dimensional pulling. Kind of wants to go to San Francisco but...
Hitoshi: "Let's go see one of the brothers. My uncle has a thing about hippie communes."
Randy_Carter: "Well, let's start on the West coast and work our way East! To San Francisco!"
Victoria: San Franscisco it is. Let's see if this works.
Brer_Lapine: The shadowy arms of a starfish pop out from Victoria and promptly rip a screaming hole in the world.
AlexMeriweather: Eep.
Beatrice: Oooh, neat.
Brer_Lapine: Well that is probably San Francisco...

Required Player Commentary On My Games Becoming Infested With - The GAY

Greenling: and yet another game becomes Big Gay Romance Adventures.
Brer_Lapine: This game isn't big gay romance adventures, there are plenty of straight couples...
Brer_Lapine: ...Uh
Brer_Lapine: ...maybe
Brer_Lapine: ...SOMEWHERE
Greenling: Randy and Victoria?
Brer_Lapine: MR. MERRIWEATHER TOTALLY COUNTS!
Greenling: ...angels don't have gender.
Breanna: Technically.
Brer_Lapine: Tell that to Alex's mom.
Greenling: oh god.
Greenling: Alex is sticking his fingers in his ears and singing.
Lavos: ...Do fallen angels have gender?
Breanna: And then we can find Beatrice a girl so she can be the token lesbian.
Greenling: d'aww.
Logos: No, Beatrice needs an arranged marriage to a horrible old man.
Greenling: she could have an arranged marriage to a horrible old man *and* a Dear Bosom Friend.
Lavos: In theory, this is probably her sexual orientation as well since her family is very rich and decadent.
Greenling: she's attracted only to horrible old rich men?
MaidenofEndings: no, "what's most interesting"
Greenling: or to whatever's most interesting at the moment?
Lavos: Assuming she has one, because right now she's too caught in a weird sense of childish wonder and naivety that could end in someone getting killed.
'So you say your name is Ulysses,
that you're wandering around the world.
Tell me sir, have you ever been arrested before?'

This is the worst thing. -bassist159

Here there be dragons.
 
User avatar
The Purples
Essence 5
Essence 5
Topic Author
Posts: 527
Joined: 06 May 2006, 22:39
Title: Goddamn Purples
Exalt: Solar
Fighting Style: The Purple.
Artifact: 800080
Location: The Purple.
Contact:

Re: Tales of Eighth Grade Nothings (MAOCT)

07 Jan 2010, 03:10

Adventure #3, Session #2

Adventure Cast:
Randy Carter and Ace the Miracle Hound
Victoria Manning and Decarabia
Alex Meriweather and Alex's Dad
Hitoshi Gilespi and CLANK-O-TRON
Beatrice Gottlieb and Forneus

TL;DR-I stole from Steinbeck and then they talked with Randy's older brother some but then everyone was filled with a great ennui.

Brer_Lapine: The Castro in San Francisco is a poem, a stink, a grating noise, a quality of light, a tone, a habit, a nostalgia, a dream. The Mission is the gathered and scattered cement and iron and rust and splintered wood, chipped pavement and junk heaps, second hand stores fronted by corrugated iron, drag bars, restaurants, and whore houses, and little crowded groceries.
Brer_Lapine: It's inhabitants are, as the man once said, "Whores, pimps, gamblers, and sons of bitches," by which he meant Everybody. Had the same man looked through another peephole he might have said, "Saints and angels and martyrs and holy men," and he would have meant the same thing.
Randy_Carter: "Wow, this isn't too far from my brother's apartment!"
Beatrice: "Curse the absence of Hans when I need him! I desire coffee and an ironically consumed ethnic dish." Beatrice pouts with savage cuteness.
AlexMeriweather: "..." :o
Victoria: "That could probably be acquired somewhere here."
Beatrice: "It had better."
Hitoshi: "I can't imagine there would be any place in California where coffee is unavailable."
AlexMeriweather: "Neat!"
Randy_Carter: "I think there's an ironic ethnic restaurant two blocks down"
AlexMeriweather: Alex gets all amazed and shiny-eyed at the huge city.
Brer_Lapine: San Francisco is far different then your town of Ascend, East Dakota. For one thing it is actually a city and there are cars EVERYWHERE and for another everything is at a slight angle.
Beatrice: Beatrice thinks Amsterdam is far classier at this sort of atmosphere, but whatever.
Brer_Lapine: Beatrice would think that.
Victoria wonders what kind of neat bookshops can be found.
AlexMeriweather: Alex innocently holds onto Hitoshi's arm so he doesn't bump into anything.
Beatrice: "At any rate, where are we supposed to go? Where do you propose we lodge? It had better have room service."
Hitoshi: Hitoshi looks at Alex funny but mostly allows Alex.
Brer_Lapine: Clank-O-Tron would object but... Is that an electric car?
Hitoshi: "Most hotels have room service. Are you proposing to pay for it?"
Randy_Carter tries to remember his brother's proper address.
Hitoshi: "I don't think this week's lunch money is going to be enough for a bed *and* filet mignon." >_>
Beatrice: "Can't we set up some sort of..." she grasps for words, what would Mother do in this situation "Grey market auction?"
Hitoshi: "Grey--what?"
Beatrice: "I don't think we have anything that qualifies, as such, though..." She frowns in thought.
Hitoshi: "...Why don't we just go to Randy's brother's house and you can make believe there is room service?"
Beatrice: "If necessary, I suppose we could make use of his domicile" she concedes.
Brer_Lapine: Randy you seem to remember David was sending you letters from Daniel Street? You can't remember the address but that's what ringing doorbells is for!
Brer_Lapine: ...Danny Street?
Brer_Lapine: Something like that.
Randy_Carter: And, so, Randy's off to find Danny Street, or Daniel Street, or possibly Dan Street.
Brer_Lapine: Ace is enjoying himself, in fact there are so many fire hydrants that it's... SENSORY OVERLOAD :D
Victoria follows after, keeping an eye out for interesting bookstores.
AlexMeriweather: Following Randy. Mostly. Ooh, things. :o
Hitoshi: Hitoshi is being anti-social and dragged around by Alex.
Beatrice: "Forneus, please do not go off and carouse."
AlexMeriweather: "Ooh. Have you ever seen one of those before, Hitoshi? Oh, I smell food!"
AlexMeriweather: "...I think that's food."
Hitoshi: Hitoshi sniffs at the air. "It doesn't smell like *good* food." >_>
Brer_Lapine: Wandering the Castro is a surreal experience for most the children. This entire energetic city so different than the quiet coal mining town they currently attended middle school in.
Beatrice is somehow dragging and clinging to the demon at the same time.
Brer_Lapine: Forneus is staring at a yo- DECARABIAH. He is most definitely staring at his life partner and is a loyal friend.
Brer_Lapine: And so the unaccompanied minors wandered the streets of a foreign town until they came upon the mysterious street known as Danny.
Beatrice: No, Forneus look at ME. "Well, I suppose we can take in the culture while we are here. I hear there are magnificent clubs here, do you think they have discussions there?"
Beatrice: "They must be very interesting."
Randy_Carter: "Here we go! Danny Stree...why do I suddenly feel like I'm in a comic book?"
Brer_Lapine: Danny Street is a quiet looking little street that terminates at the other end of the block into some mean looking railroad tracks.
Victoria: Hmmm.
Randy_Carter: "Alright, now we need to figure out where my brother lives. Let's start ringing doorbells,"
AlexMeriweather: "Please tell me you at least know what he looks like?"
Hitoshi: "You don't even know which house is your brother's?"
Beatrice: "You don't remember the post number?"
Randy_Carter: "Ummm..."
Hitoshi: "...Is this even the right street?" >_>
Randy_Carter: "It's the right street!"
Randy_Carter: "I'm just usually so excited to get a letter from him that mom doesn't actually shred before I get it that I tear it open and feed the envelope to Ace"
Victoria: "..oh."
Hitoshi: "...So you have no idea which of these houses is your brother's."
Beatrice: "How inconvenient. I archive all of mine."
Brer_Lapine: Ace likes the US postal system :D
Randy_Carter: "Nope! Not a clue!"
Hitoshi: "...Great."
Hitoshi: "Let's split up into teams. One team can take the left and the other can take the right."
AlexMeriweather: "Isn't Randy supposed to be the one asking that? Or, you know, we're already doing this in the most over-the-top fashion possible, we could always head up to the rooftops and page him or something."
Victoria skips off towards the left.
AlexMeriweather: "Randy's brother, please come to the... big brown building with the stain on it... or such." :V
Randy_Carter takes the left.
AlexMeriweather: "...Yup."
Hitoshi: Hitoshi rolls his eyes and heads to the right.
Brer_Lapine: "Son, this is a wonderful idea!"
Brer_Lapine: Suddenly, Mr. Meriweather.
AlexMeriweather: Alex jumps about six inches straight up.
Hitoshi: "I'm guessing you wouldn't like it if I abandoned your friends and told the first adult I found that we were lost..." Hitoshi glances between the two. "What?"
AlexMeriweather: "Ah! ...Ah." Only a matter of time. "Hi." n.n;
Brer_Lapine: "What are you doing here :D?"
Beatrice takes the right.
AlexMeriweather: "Looking for Randy's brother."
Brer_Lapine: "I see!"
Beatrice: She wants to follow the interesting people, you see.
Hitoshi: Hitoshi leans toward Alex. "Do you know this man?" >_>
AlexMeriweather: "Oh! I'm sorry. Hitoshi, this is... my stepfather. And uhm," he gestures, "this is Hitoshi, he's my new friend."
AlexMeriweather: "And this is Beatrice." Also gesture.
Beatrice: "Just a moment, Randolph," Beatrice interjects. "Do you know his phone number?"
Randy_Carter: "It's Randy"
Randy_Carter doesn't like being called Randolph -_-
Brer_Lapine: "I see you are searching for a sibling divided by geography! As for myself, I always take my lunch breaks here."
Victoria: "There is no coincidence in this world~"
Randy_Carter: "Umm....I do know his number!"
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Meriweather is like a giant well muscled puppy.
Randy_Carter has seen a giant, well-muscled puppy, and Mr. Meriweather looks nothing like Ace.
Beatrice: "I did not know you were so accepting of such informalities among recent acquantances, but that is good to hear Randolph!"
Beatrice: "Perhaps you should call him."
Randy_Carter: "..."
Randy_Carter: "Do you have a cell phone?"
AlexMeriweather: "Lunch breaks? Ooh. Is there somewhere nice to eat around here?"
Brer_Lapine: "Well sometimes but more importantly angels are invisible to the straight."
AlexMeriweather: "Huh?" Confusion.
Beatrice: "I forget, but I'm sure Forneus does."
Beatrice can see this man just fine, and she curtsies at him.
Brer_Lapine: "Our angelic brilliance can only be viewed by those who seek company in those of the same gender, Son."
Victoria: "Really? That was never in any of the books..."
Hitoshi: "..."
AlexMeriweather: Alex looks at Hitoshi. Also at Beatrice.
Randy_Carter: "Does that mean you know my brother?"
AlexMeriweather: "I. Okay." He still has no idea.
Brer_Lapine: He breaks up into laughter and smacks Alex firmly on the back. "I am joking at your expense, your mother says I do not express enough humor!"
AlexMeriweather: "...Oh."
Hitoshi: "...Right."
Randy_Carter: "I mean, yeah...cause it's not like all of us are gay right?"
Randy_Carter looks off into the distance at something unseen.
Brer_Lapine: "Angels can also sense the true desires of the human soul."
Victoria is pretty sure that she is nothing. :>
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Meriweather is completely deadpan.
AlexMeriweather: "Angels seem to be very complicated creatures."
Hitoshi: "Of course you can."
Randy_Carter: "Mr. Meriweather, do you have a cell phone?"
Beatrice: "Forneus probably has one next to his small black book."
Hitoshi: "Clank-O-Tron, can you get a phone signal or is that broken, too?"
Brer_Lapine: ">Initiating Indignant Remark.app: ARE YOU INSULTING ME?"
Hitoshi: "No. I'm simply commenting that most of your programming is faulty and your equipment is outdated."
Brer_Lapine: ">Open IceBurn.docx: OR ARE YOU JUST DROWNING IN A MYRIAD OF MICROBRIAL ENTITIES."
Brer_Lapine: "..."
Hitoshi: "...Yes. You've pinned it. Now make a phone call." >_>
Brer_Lapine: "...WORDS ARE CAPABLE OF STRUCTURAL DAMAGE AS WELL, HITOSHI UNIT."
Victoria peers curiously at the robot.
Brer_Lapine: ">Phone connection failed 45mb apology required."
Victoria: "Please?" maybe being nice to it would help. The First Law might only apply to robots in Asimov's books.
Hitoshi: "..." >_>
Brer_Lapine: "THIS UNIT CAN WAIT FOR ALL ETERNITY, GOOD BUDDY."
AlexMeriweather: Alex looks plaintively in Hitoshi's direction.
Victoria: "A contract runs both ways, Hitoshi."
Brer_Lapine: Forneus nudged Beatrice, "He feigns unfamiliarity but I am mindful of who that man is."
Beatrice: "Oh? He said something about angels, did he not?"
Hitoshi: "...Clank-O-Tron, not all of your programming is faulty, and your outdated equipment makes you unique." Hitoshi seems like the act of apologizing is almost physically painful.
Hitoshi: If such a thing can be called an apology.
Brer_Lapine: "HITOSHI MY SENSORS SHOWED YOU CARED, YOU INFERIOR SMELLING PILE OF FLESH MUSCLE YOU ARE MY FAVORITE."
AlexMeriweather: Yay, everyone's happy again. :D
Hitoshi: "So, about this brother that may or may not exist..." >_>
Brer_Lapine: "CALLING."
Hitoshi: "Thank you."
Brer_Lapine: "AND DO NOT INFORM ME THAT YOU HAVE NOT GIVEN ME THE NUMBER, FOR I AM SIMPLY CALLING EVERY SINGLE NUMBER WITHIN THIS CITY."
Brer_Lapine: "COLLATING."
Hitoshi: "...Can you route the phone bill to someone else?"
Brer_Lapine: "...COLLATING."
Brer_Lapine: "... ... ... COLLATING. COMPLETE."
Brer_Lapine: Clank-o-Tron points at a yellow painted lady house four homes down. "TARGET FOUND. INFORM ME WHEN THE CRUSHING BEGINS."
Hitoshi: "Appreciated and acknowledged."
Randy_Carter runs down the street to his brother's house then! Ace dogging his heels.
Brer_Lapine: Ace loves relatives :D
AlexMeriweather: Alex follows!
Hitoshi: Hitoshi follows as well because he needs to use the bathroom.
Victoria follows as well
Randy_Carter bangs on the door and rings the door bell simultaneously, with the curious sort of annoying abandon that only children are capable of.
Hitoshi: "Maybe you should try yelling, too, in case he can't hear you well enough."
Randy_Carter: "Good idea!"
Randy_Carter: "HELLO! IS THERE ANYBODY HOME!!!!!"
Brer_Lapine: The door flies open and a man... er woman? Well lets just say man for the sake of things answers the door. He is dressed in an A-shirt and blue jeans far to large for his body. He also seems to have a mustache drawn onto his upper lip. "Yeah what do you wa-... RANDY?"
Brer_Lapine: Ace loves shocked reunions :D
Randy_Carter: "Yep! That's me!"
Brer_Lapine: "What are you doing here? Is mom here?!"
Randy_Carter: "No, mom said she never wanted to see you again, remember?"
Randy_Carter: "I'm here on a....field trip...with some friends from my school.
Victoria: "Hello, Randy's brother~"
Brer_Lapine: "Well I know that but... where is your teacher?"
Hitoshi: "It's him." Hitoshi points to Mr. Meriweather.
Randy_Carter: "That's a good question! And if you'll let us inside, I'd be glad to answer it!"
Brer_Lapine: David looks behind him and then back at the assembled 8th graders. "Just hold on a second, I was doing some stuff."
Brer_Lapine: The door is slammed in Randy's face and all of you can faintly here yelling and scattering inside the narrow house.
AlexMeriweather: Blink.
Victoria: hm.
Brer_Lapine: "Young man, I do not appreciate being used to deceive that innocent soul. I am a firm believer in the sanctity of the truth and I have always told Alex that he should be as true with others as he is with himself."
Hitoshi: "I'm getting an early start on my political career."
AlexMeriweather: "If Randy wants to make his brother feel better that we have a chaperone, why disturb the poor man's feelings?"
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Meriweather crosses his arms and the sun shines behind his shoulders making him seem a bit cooler for all of about 5 seconds.
Hitoshi: "Besides, no one ever said you were a teacher from school. Teach us something and we won't be lying."
Victoria: "You taught our homeroom or attempted to once."
Hitoshi: "Technically, nothing we said was a lie."
AlexMeriweather: "That's true. I don't even know who our homeroom teacher is. As far as I know it's either you or Mister Decarabia."
AlexMeriweather: Alex looks innocently up at his stepfather.
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Meriweather frowns and looks like he was going say something before David opens the door again looking quite a bit more flustered than before. "Alright, you guys can come in."
AlexMeriweather: Following Randy again.
Brer_Lapine: The interior of the house isn't nearly as glamorous as the outside and it feels really cramped in the small hallways especially with a large robot from the future trying to shove it's way into the building with them.
AlexMeriweather: "Nice to meet you, by the way." Alex smiles at David.
Brer_Lapine: "Yeah nice to meet Randy's schoolmates..."

On Being A Great Big Stinking Hack

Brer_Lapine: If you can't come up with good material about California just rip off John Steinbeck :V
AlexMeriweather: most people rip off anime, you just go straight for classical literature.
Brer_Lapine: I have my dignity, Green
'So you say your name is Ulysses,
that you're wandering around the world.
Tell me sir, have you ever been arrested before?'

This is the worst thing. -bassist159

Here there be dragons.
 
User avatar
The Purples
Essence 5
Essence 5
Topic Author
Posts: 527
Joined: 06 May 2006, 22:39
Title: Goddamn Purples
Exalt: Solar
Fighting Style: The Purple.
Artifact: 800080
Location: The Purple.
Contact:

Re: Tales of Eighth Grade Nothings (MAOCT)

07 Jan 2010, 15:52

Who is playing who?!
Okay calm down, this stuff gets really crazy and I didn't actually add in a little cast guide to explain everything. Monsters and Other Childish Things obviously has the players creating both a young child and their monstrous companion, now it is usually very hard for players to run two characters at once (not to mention many people have a hard time actively embarrassing themselves, eating their parents, driving their first crush crazy, or generally causing life to be miserable). So the concept of someone else playing your monster, very similar to how somebody played your shadow in Wraith: the Oblivion happens a lot of the time. Now many players have the same problems with Monsters that they did with Shadows, it is very uncomfortable for many of them to play another person's character so usually I'm the one causing mayhem and taking the role of the monsters. When the adventures started to get big, I begged players to take a monster and I'd award everyone XP if they did. Like suckers they fell for it and started playing each other's monsters, I haven't given them XP yet. 8)

Thankfully my players don't read these logs or nothing.

Adventure #3, Session #3 - Plot Today, Gone Tomorrow! OR How I Learned To Love the Spotty Player Attendance

Adventure Cast:
Randy Carter and Ace the Miracle Hound
Victoria Manning and Decarabia
Alex Meriweather and Alex's Dad
Hitoshi Gilespi and CLANK-O-TRON
Beatrice Gottlieb and Forneus

TL;DR- The most embarrassing thing is not remembering NPC names or maybe it is mysteriously naming everything in your game the same damn name. Here is the mysterious last mention of Adventure #3, because well it is the mysterious last reference of it in the logs. There are also references to famous cross dressers and if I was to finish this session, then I'm sure there would be many more references to them, I mean I didn't even introduce anything about Herman Göring!


Brer_Lapine: The message of one internet entity named BigNBlü vibrates on the Wolfberry in David's pocket but goes unanswered as the older sibling, who's name is not at all like the young man with fairies, is currently dealing with a number of preteens who showed up on his doorstep.
Brer_Lapine: "So can I get you something to drink?" Says David who was not Robert at some point in this log.
Greenling: Hitoshi glares at anything within line of sight.
Victoria: "Um. Do you have any juice? :D?" Victoria asks David politely. hands folded over the book in her lap.
Brer_Lapine: "I think we have ginger, tigernut, or guava nectar."
Victoria: ...ginger juice sounds tasty. :O
Greenling: "...Tigernut?"
Brer_Lapine: "So Randy, why did you take a field trip halfway across the country?" David seems very interested to hear this answer, it's as if he was suspicious of his sibling.
Randy_Carter: Ummm...what would Indiana Jones do? "Oh, we're here to visit....museums!"
Brer_Lapine: "In the Castro?"
Randy_Carter: "Yes!"
Brer_Lapine: "You came here to visit museums about gay people and mom is okay with this?"
Randy_Carter: "Well, technically mom doesn't know. But since she hangs up every time you call, it's not like you could rat me out"
Randy_Carter: Ahhh...the refreshing honesty of children.
Victoria: "What she does not know~"
Randy_Carter: "Really, we're here because I was telling my friends how awesome you were, so we decided to visit and see how awesome you are in person!"
Greenling: Alex smiles charmingly.
Brer_Lapine: "...And you brought your teacher?" David seems like a pretty private kind of person but that is always what made David the coolest.
Randy_Carter: Mr. Meriweather looks distraught "Well... technically I'm not a /teacher/ persay. I'm a chaperone!"
Randy_Carter: He puts one hand on Alex's shoulder "I'm Alex here's step-father, and I came along because it's an important bonding experience so that when Alex gets older he'll treat me as a peer and not as a distant figure of authority and punishment, and also it teaches valuable lessons in accepting alternative lifestyles, which is important..I've got some books here, if you'd like to see them"
Randy_Carter: "Well, as you can see, I didn't bring a teacher. I brought Alex's step-dad. He knows his way around the Castro, I think"
Greenling: Alex looks somewhat awkward. "Heh."
Brer_Lapine: "I believe you..." David shakes the man's hand. "How did you guys get here anyways, you didn't come from across the tracks did you?"
Randy_Carter: "The most merciful trait humanity possesses is our ignorance~"
Greenling: "I think it involved a plane," he offers.
Greenling: "Possibly several of them."
Brer_Lapine: "...I see."
Randy_Carter: "Look, I'm sure this is all very confusing to you too, but the point is we're here - brothers reunited across the gulf of time and space and possibly some things that exist outside both."
Brer_Lapine: "Alright as brothers united across space and time, I'm going to tell you that this is a bad time, Randy." David crosses his arms and looks disappointed.
Randy_Carter: "So....come back later?"
Brer_Lapine: "Look Randy, maybe next time you should call. We've been planning something big for Hoover street and I really wasn't expecting company so what I'm trying to say is that you need to be more respectful of other people's plans."
Randy_Carter: "But if I called ahead, it wouldn't be an adventure. Can't we just tag along, we'll be quiet as church mice. Church mice are quiet, right?"
Greenling: "We could help?"
Brer_Lapine: "Church mice are very quiet but this is kind of adult sort of things."
Greenling: "We have adults!"
Victoria: ...Victoria doesn't like the sound of "adult" things. There was that time she opened her parents' door without knocking, and then later they explained it as "adult" time. "Maybe we should go explore the city by ourselves and not tag along with adult things."
Victoria: Besides, bookstores.
Brer_Lapine: "Maybe that would be better and then tomorrow morning we can all go out to breakfast together."
Randy_Carter: "Okay, that works"
Victoria stands up, holding her book carefully. "What's a good bookstore near here? :o"
Brer_Lapine: In San Francisco, David just gives a stupid grin. "There is one on every corner, it's kind of why I moved here."
Victoria: ...:D :D :D
Greenling: Ooh.
Victoria probably looks ecstatically happy at the thought of a bookstore on every corner. Almost like she might die of joy.
Randy_Carter: >.>
Brer_Lapine: "Just don't go to the bookstore on Hoover street, that's on the wrong side of the tracks."
Greenling: "Why is it the wrong side?"
Randy_Carter: "Okay. We'll stay as far away from Hoover Street as humanly possible, David"
Brer_Lapine: "... You're just going to go to Hoover Street as fast as possible, aren't you?"
Randy_Carter: "Yep"
Randy_Carter: "It's not like not living up to other people's personal expectations of your actions runs in the family or anything"
Brer_Lapine: "Alright, well if you're going to Hoover Street at least get out of there by nighttime, they're weird over there."
Randy_Carter: "It's okay, I've got Ace with me. And my other friends. Nothing weird's gonna hurt me"
Randy_Carter: "Anyway, we should go. We'll see you for breakfast tomorrow"
Victoria: "Bye." Victoria chirps cheerfully.
Brer_Lapine: "I'll see you crazy kids tomorrow..."
Victoria: "Have fun." Victoria says as she hops out the door, reading while she walks.
Brer_Lapine: Decarabiah follows after Victoria. "A verye interestinge familye younge Randye has, yes?"
Victoria: "Randy's family is very interesting."
Randy_Carter: Randy follows Victoria out onto the street, rubbing Ace's head behind his ears.
Brer_Lapine: "My familye doese not have Brotherse that are note men, excepte for Orobas but we do not talke of him."
Victoria: "Definitions can be strange like that." Victoria says a little wistfully. "But then, some concepts are too hard to ever capture in a word."
Brer_Lapine: "Youe are of course talkinge of the rite of the three headede asse."
Victoria: "Maybe~"



Adventure #4, Session #1 - Robert Wakefield and the Best Day Ever

Adventure Cast:
Morgan Lennox and Sauvage
Robert Wakefield and the United Hob Clans of Nimerigar Plaza

TL;DR- Whaaaat? Who are these losers!? They aren't the lovable cast of miscreants I have been vicariously role playing through in the previous adventures! You are right faithful reader, there are more children in a middle school then the original 6 you have seen. I know the very concept is quite sickening but please bare with us, you'll be pleasantly surprised.


Brer_Lapine: The computer lab is the coolest (NERDS) place to hangout after school (FOR NERDS). In fact, it's basically the coolest place ever to hang out after a stressful day of tense school yard politik, or your librarian broke down, or your suspiciously suspicious teacher getting into a foot chase with some equally suspicious meter maids.
Brer_Lapine: The computer lab featured full access to some of the greatest pieces of technology the Eastern Dakota school district had been able to buy at a discount from the Eastern Bloc. You had all those awesome games, word processors, and access to such bitching awesome social networking programs as MugTome.
Victoria: The hobs are busy trying to get into whatever they can.
Brer_Lapine: Robert, you are mostly alone like you've spent most of the school year. Mostly because you can't be too lonely with a couple thousand fairy beings and alone because everyone on this campus is crazy >:|
Brer_Lapine: KERAaAaAaAaAaAaAaZY.
Robert_W ponders the sequence of events that brought him here in this sorry state...
Randy_Carter: One of the Hobs is actually making his way up the faded cardboard edifice of the Dewey Decimal Lion in the corner, trying to angle a jump up to the librarian's desk and his coveted mug of coffee...
Brer_Lapine: It involved leaving school early on the first day of school and a phantom anti-drug mammal that won't stop haunting you even when you go home at night.
Brer_Lapine: There were also cupcakes.
Robert_W: Stupid crazy crime dog.
Brer_Lapine: Stupid crazy Anti-Intoxicant Animal you mean!
Robert_W: Although those WERE good cupcakes. 9.9
Robert_W: Ah, memories.
Randy_Carter: The hob hooks his rope into the lion's nose and takes a running jump, swinging back and forth to build up his momentum, until at last, at the height of his swing, he sails gracefully through the air, discovering for one brief, shining moment, the beauty of flight and the oneness of perfect bliss, before landing with a thud on the librarian's desk and skidding to a halt a few inches from the coffee cup "Ach!"
Robert_W: "What are you guys doing?" >.>;;
Robert_W: Leave it to the hobs to keep him amused in this time of NERDS and woe!
Morgan_L is currently on one of the computers in the corner. Officially? It's research for homework. Of course, the messenger programs are required. She glances up at the hobs, blinking at the antics. That's... odd.
Randy_Carter: The hob sprints across the last few inches between him and the gold, slamming into the coffee cup with tremendous force, and sending its precious, caffeine-laden contents spilling down to the mouths of his waiting fellows below.
Brer_Lapine: Bastard Pete is large for a hob, he is as tall as a grown man's finger and twice as wide. You know he's tough because you've seen him wrestle pit bulls and taken bully's teeth. But you didn't know he was literate, he seems to be overseeing the organized effort of Hobs typing to someone over a messenger program.
Robert_W: "Pete? What'cha looking at?"'
Morgan_L blinks at the badly typed messages coming through the messenger, patting the shadows under the desk some.
Robert_W peers at the screen that Bastard Pete is directing hobs to work on.
Brer_Lapine: It reads simply from the screename BigNBlü "Ack, Oi've broken kneecaps of tuffer trolls 'en u. Wat kind of fairy u think you r!1"
Randy_Carter: The small group of hobs drink coffee as it trickles down the desk like invigourating rain.
Brer_Lapine: (Somewhere in San Francisco there are 5 kids talking to Randy's sister/Brother. Bastard Pete is IMing them because uh... well Bastard Pete is a bastard)
Brer_Lapine: (Robert can see that his screen name is LordofElfland93 and the Hobs have his MugTome page pulled up additionally)
Morgan_L hrms, standing and stretching; wearing jeans and a loose t-shirt. Glancing down to the unusually dense shadows under the desk, the youth heads over to the desk to look at the java-guzzling hobs curiously.
Robert_W: Are you guys having a contest or something?
Robert_W has the uncomfortable feeling that maybe, just maybe, some NERD is looking at him. RIGHT NOW..
Robert_W looks around for the source of this feeling. Or maybe that's just Hobs trying to climb to their secret stores in his shirt pocket...
Brer_Lapine: Robert, you spot a NEEEE-lady~!
Brer_Lapine: On a scale of 10 to NERD, you can't tell but beggars can't be choosers even if they're NERD ladies.
Victoria: ...ginger juice sounds tasty. :O
Robert_W walks over to the lovely lady..
Robert_W also resists the urge to put gum in her hair because he can. >:{
Brer_Lapine: Morgan, there is some kind of NERD approaching you.
Morgan_L pauses, having been about to right the cup of coffee; she glances back to Robert, blinking. "Hey." She hrms. Familiar nerd or stranger nerd?
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Merriweather is looking extra guilty :(
Brer_Lapine: Stranger nerd.
Brer_Lapine: Definitely stranger nerd.
Robert_W: "Um... hey."
Robert_W: "So, um... what're you doing in here?"
Morgan_L glances down to the hobs briefly. "Studying. Chatting. Are they with you?"
Robert_W: "Huh? Uh... wait, you can see em too?" Caught again! How many people are there like this in the school? "Um... yeah."
Morgan_L nods some. "The coffee kinda made them obvious." She gives a rough grin, glancing back to her chair.
Brer_Lapine: The hobs all seem to crowd closer to Morgan and Bastard Pete is even so bold as to scale her pants. On the plus side, Ladies dig small cute things. On the negative side, Bastard Pete is not cute and he smells funny.
Robert_W: "Yeah, but I figured that they wanted some coffee, and no one would miss it."
Morgan_L almost jumps in surprise at Bastard Pete's impetuous exploration; she glances down, peering at him. "Um, 'scuse me. Can I help ya?"
Brer_Lapine: "Ya doin' just fine, just fine!" the Hob continued his ascent of Morgan's pants. "Ye don't happen ta have any foodstuffs on ya body, eh?"
Morgan_L blinks. "Might have a leftover from lunch in my backpack..." she mumbles. On the one hand, Pete was tiny. On the other hand, if he was anything like Sauvage, tiny didn't factor into much of anything. She looks to Robert again. "Mind if I give 'em anything?"
Robert_W: "Naah. they're probably starting to get hungry now anyway. 's a while till lunch."
Brer_Lapine: The shadows around Morgan seem to thicken and grow darker like those you'd find deep in the jungle. If it's possible for shadows to give a disapproving look then Morgan's shadow definitely was.
Morgan_L nods, and - careful not to shake the hob off or step on any of the others - makes her way over to her desk. She smiles slightly down to her exceptionally dark shadow. "Yeah, I know, I've got a little hitchhiker...." She stoops down by her pack and pulls out a granola bar she was, well, sort of saving for later, but eh, and holds it out to the Hob dangling from a belt loop.
Brer_Lapine: Hobs are rather foolhardy little creatures and don't seem to mind a little crushing once in a while. Bastard Pete, makes a leap from Morgan's hip and latches onto the granola bar with his teeth.
Brer_Lapine: Robert, this is dangerously close to being social interaction!
Robert_W: Lies! Social interaction. "C'mon Pete! You probably should've at least asked first." -.- *sighs*
Brer_Lapine: The large hob just growls around the granola bar at Robert.
Morgan_L blinks, dangling the growling hob for a moment, before setting him down with the granola bar and leaning down into the shadows some. "S'alright..." She gives a grin. "So, what're you doing here?" Ah, turning the original question around ... a few minutes late. Shut up.
Robert_W: Note that Robert isn't getting between a hungry hob and his health food.
Robert_W: "'sposed to be staying in here till they fix the hole in the homeroom class or something stupid like that."
Brer_Lapine: Morgan, you may have heard something about one of the rooms of the school having it's walls torn off by drug crazed socialists fighting against the sheriff on the first day of school.
Morgan_L blinks. "So that really happened? Huh. My class is lame..." She gives the shadows a little pat.
Robert_W: "So... um... that shadow of yours... is that your friend or something?" >.> Robert peers into the inky blackness to see.. whatever there is to see.
Brer_Lapine: When Robert stares in the blackness, it stares back and seems disinterested in what it sees.
Robert_W is pleased at least by its lack of wanting to eat him.
Morgan_L nods, giving a slight smile. "Sauvage. He doesn't usually show off, since 'few deserve to gaze upon his majestic visage'." She rolls her eyes affectionately; evidently used to that sort of snootiness from her friend. "I'm Morgan."
Robert_W: "I'm Robert."

On Dyslexia and Everyone Being Named Robert
Brer_Lapine: The message of BigNBlü vibrates on the Wolfberry in t's pocket but goes unanswered as the older sibling, who's name is not at all like the young man with fairies, is currently dealing with a number of preteens who showed up on his doorstep.
Randy_Carter: (His name is David)
Brer_Lapine: (FFFFFFF)
Brer_Lapine: "So can I get you something to drink?" Says David who was not Robert at some point in this log.

Brer_Lapine: "So Robert, why did you take a field trip halfway across the country?" David seems very interested to hear this answer, it's as if he was suspicious of his sibling.
Randy_Carter: (You mean Randy?)
Brer_Lapine: (Yes Randy)
Brer_Lapine: (TOO MANY R's!)
Robert_W: (We are LEGION.)

Brer_Lapine: Decarabiah follows after Victoria. "A verye interestinge familye younge Roberte has, yes?"
Victoria: [did you get a name-mixup again, bunny?]
Brer_Lapine: (I don't think so?)
Victoria: (we didn't meet Robert's family)
Brer_Lapine: (Right :V)
Brer_Lapine: (EVERYONE IS NOW NAMED ROBERT.)
Robert_W: ( ;_; )
'So you say your name is Ulysses,
that you're wandering around the world.
Tell me sir, have you ever been arrested before?'

This is the worst thing. -bassist159

Here there be dragons.
 
User avatar
The Purples
Essence 5
Essence 5
Topic Author
Posts: 527
Joined: 06 May 2006, 22:39
Title: Goddamn Purples
Exalt: Solar
Fighting Style: The Purple.
Artifact: 800080
Location: The Purple.
Contact:

Re: Tales of Eighth Grade Nothings (MAOCT)

07 Jan 2010, 15:57

Why are you reading this!? You're only reading this to spite me!

I give you people enough XP anyways!
'So you say your name is Ulysses,
that you're wandering around the world.
Tell me sir, have you ever been arrested before?'

This is the worst thing. -bassist159

Here there be dragons.
 
User avatar
The Purples
Essence 5
Essence 5
Topic Author
Posts: 527
Joined: 06 May 2006, 22:39
Title: Goddamn Purples
Exalt: Solar
Fighting Style: The Purple.
Artifact: 800080
Location: The Purple.
Contact:

Re: Tales of Eighth Grade Nothings (MAOCT)

07 Jan 2010, 16:41

Lalalala ignoring my player

Adventure #4, Session #2 - Robert Wakefield and the Quickly Descending Phoenix That Was Once the Best Day Ever

Adventure Cast:
Morgan Lennox and Sauvage
Robert Wakefield and the United Hob Clans of Nimerigar Plaza

TL;DR- I try very hard not to play favorites in my games, I love my players equally and think they all bring something unique to the table. But I admit I get such a wonderful feeling out of torturing Robert, perhaps he simply reminds me of myself when I was in 8th grade. I do remember those wonder days of running around with my pack of friends and my horde of monstrous smurfs, I also remember particular joy in how I would play with my tiny host of pygmy monsters as if I were God myself. Good times... good times...

Brer_Lapine: When last we left our little heroes (And Robert) they had made the acquaintance of a lovely lady and her primordial shadow beast that did not approve of any of this sort of thing.
Robert_W: Primordial shadow beasts don't seem to approve of much. Or speak. Or do anything but stare creepily. Robert expected more. >:{
Brer_Lapine: Really the oddest thing about this entire meeting was not the Hobs or the fact that Robert had met another kid with a monster (Really how many of them are out there, this is kind of freaky.) but rather the fact that the computer lab is completely lacking in it's most basic component... NERDS.
Brer_Lapine: Unless of course you were implying that Robert was a NERD but that was definitely worth a beating.
Robert_W: "Hey, where IS everybody, anyway? They close up this library or somethin?"
Robert_W: "Lab. Whatever."
Morgan_L frowns softly. It was awfully quiet. "...maybe there was a sale at a comic store or something?..." She glances to the shadows, nodding. "...I'm gonna see if I can find out. You wanna come?"
Robert_W: "'s not like I've got much better to do. Well, except... umm..." Robert turns to the assorted hob horde, now hooked on caffiene. "You guys mind coming along, right?"
Brer_Lapine: The shadow ripples and then well... erupts. Instead of a deep dark shadow there is a massive shadowy sabertoothed tiger and the worst part is it's grinning. It's one of those smug kind of grins like he knows which one of you he is going eat first and he isn't telling you.
Brer_Lapine: Robert this is a big monster, totally huge kind of big. We're talking that it's definitely the size of the hummer that the guy in apartment 5b drives.
Robert_W: "Woah. He's HUGE!" 9.9;;
Morgan_L gives a little grin of her own, hugging the huge beast around the neck and eesh her fingers barely touch o.o, before climbing up onto his back, patting his side. "Thanks, Sauvage.."
Brer_Lapine: "Eh, Oi've wrassled bigger!" Bastard Pete has finished his granola bar and tries to look unimpressed.
Brer_Lapine: "No, ye ain't!" Another daring Hob by the name of McGarfield Grunner added in.
Brer_Lapine: "I wressled yer mum, din't I!?"
Brer_Lapine: "...Well she is pretty big but tha' beasty at least twoice her size!"
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage just postures and tries to look regal with an 8th grader on his neck. "Really child, this is what I'm forced to put up with for you? Vermin and prepubescent boys?"
Robert_W idly wonders if Sauvage has been fed today. Wouldn't want him snacking on hobs... although with Bastard Pete around, who's to say how that would work?
Robert_W: "Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" >:
Morgan_L smiles apologetically, reaching forward to rub one large ear. "Sorry."
Robert_W: :<
Robert_W apparently is not a hit with the ladies. Or their cats. Their giant, regal-looking talking sabertoothed cats.
Robert_W: "Anyways... There's gotta be somethin weird going on. Usually there's lots of people here." Do NERDS count as people? Robert supposes so, somehow.
Brer_Lapine: "Have you at least /killed/ something? Then maybe I'll be impressed."
Robert_W: "I fried some ants with my magnifiying glass a while back." >.>
Morgan_L gives a slight laugh, patting his side some. "Don't mind Sauvage, he just likes to let everyone know he's better than them."
Brer_Lapine: "Really? How amateur of you. Morgan, I am now bored with him," Sauvage shifts a bit and somehow that grin of his just looks a little bit smugger and a little bit meaner.
Brer_Lapine: "I only wish to inform them because it's true."
Robert_W just glares at the stupid cat. And to think, he was ready to like them before. Stupid huge man-eating cat. >:{
Robert_W: "Anyway, um.. Lets go, guys."
Brer_Lapine: Bastard Pete who is not a fan of being ignored by stupid smug cat monsters leaps on Robert's face and crawls into his hair. "Yeh 'eard the boss, move out and show thet beastie what fer!"
Brer_Lapine: "HUZZAH!" The United Hobs of Nimerigar Plaza all screamed in unison and began moving out. For there are only two things more important than a hob then the table scraps that they keep stealing from Robert and both of those two things have to do with assuaging their dangerous little egos.
Morgan_L pats Sauvage's side softly. "Well, thanks for putting up with everything." She smiles, stretching. "Any idea where all the geeks might be?"
Robert_W: "The library, maybe? Or maybe there's some sort of convention in town."
Morgan_L nods some. "Well, let's try the library before we leave school."
Robert_W: "Or maybe there's something in the school today that's keeping them from being here." Hmm... Robert had to wonder, just where WOULD all the school's nerds go about now besides these places?
Brer_Lapine: The school in general seems pretty empty which seems weird because most people don't try to skip at this period anyways and the gym class is in session. Also, you haven't seen any of those crazies today at all (Thankfully) but even that is kind of weird.
Brer_Lapine: Morgan, your own class periods have equally been pretty bare but that was just assumed because kids skipping gym is an important part of middle school. There is mystery afoot!
Robert_W: "Okay, now this is just weird. Where IS everybody? Did they just go home? Or what?"
Morgan_L frowns some. "Good question... I mean, classes are over, but shouldn't there be clubs or something?..."
Robert_W: "Or meetings, or SOMETHING."
Brer_Lapine: "Perhaps they simply were devoured," Sauvage adds in.
Morgan_L gives a nod. "What could devour them all, though?...aside from you."
Brer_Lapine: "Judging from your general inferior physique? Dragons, large rodents, motor vehicles, vultures..."
Robert_W: "Does this mean the whole school's empty, though?"
Morgan_L laughs softly. "Well, obviously, though I was thinking more about things that are around here..."
Brer_Lapine: "Giraffes!" shouted Tic Natty Fofo a particuarly worldly hob that had taken to whispering dark secrets to Robert as he slept.
Brer_Lapine: "Please illuminate me, Morgan. What kinds of things live in this territory?"
Morgan_L frowns softly. "Hm... cars are all of what you mentioned... think there used to be wolves and mountain lions or somethin', but... they're not supposed to be anywhere near a town. Might be something more like you... though less regal, of course..."
Brer_Lapine: "Are there jungles here?"
Robert_W: "Nowhere around here that I know of. Forests, though."
Brer_Lapine: "Well if I were to drag the bodies anywhere, I suppose I would take them there then."
Brer_Lapine: "If'n I were ta' keel 'em..." Bastard Pete seems lost in thought. "Well they'd be dead ya' hear!"
Morgan_L pauses, listening to Pete, before giving a little sigh. "That's great... I mean, I guess we should go to the forests after we check out the town, huh?... Could be they're just all in town..."
Robert_W: "Could be. I dunno, though."
Brer_Lapine: "Well please decide something, I'm simply dying of nerves."
Morgan_L nods and leads on to the library first, if we haven't gone there, then off downtown.
Robert_W: "Yeah, Library looks like our best bet for now."
Brer_Lapine: "Yer just a yammering cat, ya' yammering cat!" Bastard Pete attempts to prove his name as he makes rude gestures from atop Robert's head.
Brer_Lapine: "And you are a very noisy bite sized treat." Sauvage plays the role of the bigger monster-cat-thing and simply follows his child to the library.
Brer_Lapine: "Oi'd like to see you try!"
Brer_Lapine: "My dear little irritant, you wouldn't see anything ever again."
Robert_W ignores both of them for now in a rush to get to the library. Where DID all the people GO?
Morgan_L pats Sauvage's neck as she leads onwards, laughing softly at the Hobs' egging on Sauvage. "I'm sure you could wrestle things even bigger than Sauvage, so there's no need to show off."
Brer_Lapine: "Smart lass! Ya should wrestle lips with her, boss." Bastard Pete crosses his arms in the universal Hob sign of victory.
Brer_Lapine: "Osculate the mouths!"
Brer_Lapine: "Canoodle the warm noodles!"
Brer_Lapine: "Shave the lamb and marry the farmer!"
Robert_W: "What? No idea what you guys are talking about...." >.>;; Him? Kiss this crazy girl? Well... she IS pretty...
Robert_W shakes his head to get rid of the thought for now.
Brer_Lapine: The library has a sign on it written in that odd archaic script that the strangely effeminate librarian uses. You know the one? He didn't work here when you guys were in 7th grade but Ms. Ackbert mysteriously disappeared on the first day of 8th grade and he was working here.
Brer_Lapine: The sign reads. "GONE OUTE, DO NOTE WAITE UPE."
Brer_Lapine: ...Is that lipstick on it?
Robert_W: "Even the librarian is gone."
Morgan_L hmms, ignoring Pete's suggestions, more interested in the library. Wow, the librarian really needs to learn to spellcheck. She nods some and glances in, futiley checking for anyone in the aisles.
Robert_W always thought that librarians were, like, SUPER nerds, and thus were never seen away from their books?
Robert_W: "Hello! Anyone here?!?"
Brer_Lapine: It is deadly silent.
Brer_Lapine: DEADLY SILENCE!
Robert_W: "Okay, now this is seriously freaking me out."'
Brer_Lapine: Do you enter the library?
Robert_W: Robert dares... for truth, for JUSTICE... and how is he supposed to survive without aggravating nerds anyway? >:{
3:10 PM
Brer_Lapine: Inside the library it is equally EERILY QUIET but more importantly the south wall of the library had been torn open by something strong and clankotronic.
Brer_Lapine: (Lets get one of those Brains + Notice checks)
Morgan_L blinks. "... okay, that? That is probably not supposed to be there. The librarian would throw a fit about the noise from outside..."
Brer_Lapine: !roll_ore 7
The_Lady: Brer_Lapine invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 8, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x8, 1x7, 1x6, 1x5, 1x10, 1x1
Morgan_L: !roll_ore 4
The_Lady: Morgan_L invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 5, 6, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 1x6, 1x5, 1x10, 1x1
Robert_W: !roll_ore 4
The_Lady: Robert_W invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 6, 7, 9
The_Lady: Possible sets: 1x9, 1x7, 1x6, 1x1
Brer_Lapine: You notice nothing out of the ordinary beyond the general emptiness of the school and the giant hole in the wall. This is getting fishy, fishier then the fist products they serve in the cafeteria which are mostly h- OH MAN ROBERT IT'S HER <3.
3:15 PM
Brer_Lapine: You know /her/.
Brer_Lapine: That one girl.
Brer_Lapine: She lives in the same complex as you.
Brer_Lapine: Oh god what is her name? Oh man oh man oh man oh man, she is /so cute/.
Robert_W: What was her NAME? Dammit he couldn't remember. How was he supposed to talk to a girl when he can't remember her name? STUPID STUPID... "Uh... hello?"
Brer_Lapine: Morgan for the single reasonable person not bitten by the strange extradimensional moth that we claim is love at first sight. There is a red haired girl, she is reading some fiction book or another. Honestly not to impressive except for that entire another living person in the school thing.
Morgan_L hms, climbing off Sauvage's back and patting his side, making her way over to the girl. "Hey, uh, did you see what happened to the wall?"
Brer_Lapine: The girl looks up at her two schoolmates talking to her. "Huh? Oh my friends said that we were starting renovations. You're Morgan, right? We have elective together."
Brer_Lapine: Ah yes Elective, the single class that people willing choose to take!
Robert_W: "So... um. Have you.. um... have you seen any other people around here?" Is Robert looking a tad more red than normal? Naah, that's gotta just be the light.
Brer_Lapine: "Nope, I was just working on my future college applications and reading this piece of young adult fiction." OHGODSHEWASSONORMAL<3
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage is doing the most dignified laugh he can at Robert. The young crush seems completely unaware of the streams of hobs that are reorganizing books or the shadowy super predator that was mocking Robert.
Morgan_L smiles slightly. "Oh, yeah, hey."
Robert_W: "Hey... um...that sounds really good. How's that going so far?" Small talk actions go!
Brer_Lapine: "I'm sorry, do I know you?"
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage rolls over howling in laughter.
Robert_W: "We live in the same apartment complex... I think. Don't you live near 1405?"
Robert_W just glares at the stupid cat of stupid and bigness.
Brer_Lapine: "I do actually."
Morgan_L suppresses her laughter, fighting off an amused grin, before disguising it before going to investigate the GAPING HOLE IN THE WALL.
Robert_W: "Cool. I'm, like, a few doors down from you, then."
Robert_W: "So... um... I was wondering. What's your name, anyway?"
Brer_Lapine: The hole seems big and really like the contractors need to use less destructive tools for the job. However more worrying thing that Morgan sees is the vast primordial jungle that has replaced the school soccer field.
Brer_Lapine: "My name is Emily. What's yours?"
Robert_W: "R.. Robert. Pleased to meet you." :D
Brer_Lapine: "Yes, it's nice to meet you as well Robinson."
Morgan_L frowns some. Hm. She glances back to Sauvage. "Um, never mind on there being no jungles here..."
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage looks particularly smug.
Robert_W: ... At least she got PART of it right. ._.
Brer_Lapine: She smiles and doesn't even notice the two hobs that have stolen the snack cakes from her purse.
Robert_W: "Well... um... anyways... maybe I could go see you sometime?"
Morgan_L simply gives that infuriating smile at the smugness. "I guess they decided to add a jungle. There used to be a soccer field there."
Brer_Lapine: "Maybe," she sounds pretty non-commital.
Robert_W: "A..alright... I guess I'll see you later then." That was so uncool. I mean, she didn't even really give him a first look. Can his heart take such strain... no, no, must not think about that... must... hey, when did they put a hole in here?
Brer_Lapine: Or that jungle.
Robert_W: "What the.... when did THAT get here?"
Morgan_L gives a soft laugh. "Oh, they put it in while you were talking, didn't you notice?"
Robert_W: "I... err.. that is..." >.>;;; "I was just wondering what did this, is all." >: Robert? Sulking? No no, he'd NEVER stoop to that.
Robert_W: ... at least not while that cat is still around.
Brer_Lapine: Bastard Pete is eating a hoho on Robert's head.
Robert_W: "Watch the crumbs!" >.o;;
Brer_Lapine: "Crumbs would mean it ain't gettin' inta my mouth!"
Morgan_L stretches some, before carefully picking her way out through the hole to go look into the jungle. "Coming, Sauvage?"
Greenling has joined the channel
Robert_W will pick his way through the hole, watching for jagged sharp edges, and perhaps for man-eating plants like he hears about in all the weird stories.
Brer_Lapine: The tiger stayed as close to the girl as her very own shadow. "Well I retract my earlier statement, that boy amuses me now."
Robert_W is still ignoring giant talking aggravations. >:{
Robert_W: Maybe if I got her somethin she'd want to talk to me more. Flowers? Naah, that's corny. I want her to like me, not think I'm some sort of NERD... Ah, the poor boy is lost in his plots and schemes.
Brer_Lapine: The Jungle/Soccer Field is really 'effing big when you get to the border of it. Sure it looked pretty big when you were in the library but this jungle makes Sauvage look like a house cat in tall grass!
Brer_Lapine: "...Ey Boss." Bastard Pete tugged on Robert's hairs. "EY BOSS!" There is a tearing sound and a particularly mortified Bastard Pete pushes a torn clump of hair into another Hob's hands.
Morgan_L gives a sligth laugh, smiling. Sauvage was so fun. A look of dawning awe started on her face as the immensity of the jungle became clear.... oh, god, she IS one of those looneys.
Robert_W: "What is it, Pete?"
Robert_W: "OW! WATCH IT!"
Brer_Lapine: "Yeh left the girly all alone."
Robert_W: "Yeah... yeah, you're right... I should probably stay here... with her..."
Robert_W: "But... I don't think she wants to talk to me at all. And if I hang around she'll just think I'm creepy."
Robert_W: Well, Robert IS kind of creepy, in that talks-to-imaginary-creatures way, but that's entirely beside the point. >:{
Brer_Lapine: "...Ah don't know 'bout creepy boss but everybody has gone missin' ya know."
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage couldn't help but start laughing again. "You simply must keep this one around, Morgan."
Robert_W: "You're right..." Robert makes the climb back towards the creepy girl... and on his march to become An Hero! :D!
Brer_Lapine: The library is empty and that stack of neatly folded college applications (They smell like her~) are on the desk along with her number two pencil.
Robert_W: But... where IS she?
Brer_Lapine: It smells like a jungle in he- GODDAMNIT.
Robert_W: Also: She smells nice.... wait, does that count as a creepy thought?
Brer_Lapine: Extra creepy >:|
Robert_W: ... dammit! Which... wait, where'd she go?
Robert_W: "Where'd she go? She can't have gone past me... did she go further into the school?"
Brer_Lapine: "Boss, yeh left th' other girl alone now."
Robert_W: "GAH... oh, wait. She has that big cat or whatever with her. Shouldn't she be fine?"
Morgan_L hms. Big, ominous forest. Looming. People disappearing ... She grins. "Let's see what's inside, Sauvage!"
Brer_Lapine: "I thought you would never ask." The big cat plods into the primordial forest/soccer field.
Brer_Lapine: "Well ya' think but she just went into tha' thicket."
Robert_W: "What? HEY, WAIT!" Robert turns just in time to see the cat plodding off into the forest... :{
'So you say your name is Ulysses,
that you're wandering around the world.
Tell me sir, have you ever been arrested before?'

This is the worst thing. -bassist159

Here there be dragons.
 
User avatar
The Purples
Essence 5
Essence 5
Topic Author
Posts: 527
Joined: 06 May 2006, 22:39
Title: Goddamn Purples
Exalt: Solar
Fighting Style: The Purple.
Artifact: 800080
Location: The Purple.
Contact:

Re: Tales of Eighth Grade Nothings (MAOCT)

07 Jan 2010, 17:12

Adventure #4, Session #3 - Robert Wakefield and What is Most Likely Is Not the Best Day Ever.

Adventure Cast:
Morgan Lennox and Sauvage
Robert Wakefield and the United Hob Clans of Nimerigar Plaza

TL;DR- I don't even know what I was drinking to come up with this session vermouth, gin, maybe bleach? Anyways it was something potentially dangerous to my health.

Brer_Lapine: Last time on Grade 8 there was a jungle, totally hot chicks, and the strange disappearance of totally hot chicks.
Brer_Lapine: The interior of the jungle is dark and steamy like that time you got locked into the gymnasium sauna. It's kind of like being in the belly of a much greater beast but your monstrous companions assure you this is nothing like being eaten as there was no terrible dismembering beforehand and you can't feel the electric sting of your vital parts melting into a nutritious goop.
Brer_Lapine: The jungle contains all kinds of things a real jungle should contain (like the kind on cartoons) instead of those lame woods you have outside that your biology teacher has assured you counts as a jungle as well but you just have to understand that jungle is a very technical term.
Robert_W would prefer not to think of himself as either delicious nor nutritious, although this hot and steamy place that shouldn't be inside a school grounds at all may beg to differ...
Morgan_L hmms - the gym has a sauna? - as she glances around, giving Sauvage's side a pat as her eyes flicker with flame, trailing shadow - the undergrowth and steamy fogginess made it too hard to see if there were tracks or anything.
Robert_W: "Since when is it so hot in here?"
Morgan_L glances back with that soul-piercing gaze. "'Cause it's a tropical jungle transplanted into the midwest. I thought that was obvious."
Robert_W: "Wouldn't we have noticed something like that earlier?" Robert eyes a rather unusual and spiky-looking plant... best to avoid things like that, he supposes.
Robert_W: "I mean, there'd be, like, machines and stuff. At least I thought so."
Brer_Lapine: Have a sauna? Robert Harrison Blake Middle School appeared in the National Review as the #14 most expensive educational institute in the eastern half of the country! Researchers cited the revolving door faculty, strange constructions, shrines to elder things, and annual apocalyptic destruction of the school grounds as evidence.
Morgan_L shrugs some, making her way along. "Maybe. Maybe it happened overnight. Or do you not have strange things like little men-apes following you around?"
Brer_Lapine: "Oi, who ya' callin' strange ya' completely run o' the mill pubescent human girl!" Yells Stays Crunchy In Milk, a wise woman of the Hob tribes.
Robert_W: "I guess..." Robert will never understand the thoughts of girls, especially girls that ride giant cats.
Morgan_L smiles back to Stays Crunchy. "Mostly Pete because he's strangely strong?"
Brer_Lapine: "Tha's abnormally strong ta' you!"
Morgan_L hmms some, glancing up into the canopy. Maybe from higher ground...
Brer_Lapine: The canopy is extra dark and extra thick, there are all shorts of exotic bird and insect calls coming from it which makes this entire mystically transplanted jungle sound like a dance club.
Robert_W: "This place still creeps me out, though."
Morgan_L looks around, seeing if she can try and find tracks with Sauvage's eyes.
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage just chuckles to himself and lets his companion see with his SUPERIOR vision.
Brer_Lapine: ...Robert looks suddenly very tasty.
Brer_Lapine: (Can I get a Brains + Notice check from Morgan with those wicked awesome eyes?)
Morgan_L glances at Robert briefly, shaking her head. "You might want to get some nasty-tasting deodorant or something." She returns to looking around.
Robert_W: "Eh? What's that supposed to mean?"
Morgan_L: !roll 7d10
The_Lady: Morgan_L invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 10, 1, 5, 4, 2, 9, 1
The_Lady: Rolled 32 on 7d10
Brer_Lapine: Nothing escapes Morgan's borrowed vision! In fact the jungle around her stops being so dark and chaotic with Sauvage's eyes, instead letting her see with perfect clarity the trail of many a young NERD, the Hobs currently stealing change from Robert's pocket, and even the strange hunched figure (a monkey?) who flees when it comes into Morgan's field of vision.
Morgan_L hrms, frowning softly and nodding, seeing if the trails were leading in any particular direction. "I hope you don't need that lunch money, Robert..." she remarks offhandedly.
Brer_Lapine: The trails lead deeper into the jungle which only seems to get darker and more jungle'esque as it goes. There is something odd about the trails or rather the freshest trail as it seems rather orderly for someone that is being dragged, almost as if that person was just incredibly orderly by nature... or boring as paint drying.
Robert_W: "Huh What... HEY... GUYS! Quit that!"
Morgan_L blinks. "Hm..." She frowns, patting Sauvage's side and making her way forward. "Thanks - feel blind when things like leaves and steam stop me from seeing so far."
Robert_W: "I was saving that money for hot dogs later!" >.<
Brer_Lapine: Bastard Pete's eyes go wide. "YE LOT GIV' 'IM THE PELF BACK AFORE I CRUSH YER HEADS!" Bastard Pete was always on Robert's side when it came to packaged meat products.
Brer_Lapine: "It's really your own fault, being born a human was such a silly choice." He casually poses trying to look majestic. "Really you would have made a decent feline, perhaps not a lion but perhaps something more compact. Don't take this as a compliment as I said decent, not great."
Morgan_L nods, grumbling a bit as she makes her way along the rough muddy trail, looking around the jungle in some awe. "Yeah, mom and dad totally should have been cats, so I could be one, too." She chuckled, the joke having been shared often.
Brer_Lapine: "You often seem to get it, I'm not sure why you don't do anything about it. I'm sure if you let /me/ talk to them about it, they would reconsider their poor choice of species."
Brer_Lapine: Robert even without the ability to see through the darkness of the jungle or the strange tracks that Morgan is following you can tell there is something different about this direction. What is it?
Brer_Lapine: ...Oh. My. God.
Brer_Lapine: It smells like her~
Robert_W: ... *sniff sniff* "She's here somewhere... " But where is she?
Brer_Lapine: That smell being the smell of a well kept office and the faintest hint of dried roses.
Robert_W: Stupid jungles. Stupid canopy. And even stupider giant cats with night vision eyes.
Morgan_L shrugs some. "Because I'm already born, so unless you can go back and make them choose a better species back when they were born, so you'd have to talk to my grandparents, and to their parents, and I think their parents are dead... so I'm kinda stuck like this."
Brer_Lapine: "I always forget what a quaint little understanding of time you seem to have."
Morgan_L gives a shrug. "Yeah, it kinda sucks, especially during math class..."
Robert_W: "Hey guys... keep an eye out. I think that girl we met earlier is around here somewhere..."
Robert_W: But where? Where could this lovely lady be? And why would she be hanging out in this creepy jungle place?
Morgan_L glances back. "The really boring one who didn't even really notice you were there?..."
Robert_W: "Hey! She noticed me..." I hope. ._. "But yeah, I think so. I mean, it makes more sense with no one in the school, right?"
Brer_Lapine: After a long trek through the jungle which might have taken minutes or it might have taken hours (It's hard to tell as Sauvage tried to explain the true form of time with numerous Hob interruptions about him being and I quote 'A Bleeding Idjit'). They come upon a strange jungle clearing, it's like something out of an old cartoon with crazy straw huts and multiple skulls lying around.
Brer_Lapine: Most of the skulls are thankfully not human.
Brer_Lapine: Actually none of them are, those ones might be something like monkey skulls or door-to-door solicitors who Robert had discovered this summer were in fact a strange pod based horror created during the revolutionary war by french scientists.
Morgan_L hrms. "Obviously whatever's here isn't that fearsome. The skulls are all intact." She nods sagely. Few if any bones stayed intact if Sauvage actually got riled up.
Robert_W: "Whatever these are, they don't look like they're human. Unless they're one of those SuperVac salesmen or something. They'd be about the right size for it..."
Robert_W: "Maybe its something that hates salesmen?"
Brer_Lapine: There are also a number of hanging wooden cages, a big black iron soup pot of some kind, a rack of spears, and an old red fire engine toy.
Morgan_L frowns. "Given how dumb the salesmen and witnesses get around here, that'd make sense, so many of the skulls here... although they don't ever run out." She frowns, hopping down and making her way over to investigate the pot, the toy, and the spears. And the cages, if any aren't empty.
Brer_Lapine: Oh there are also NERDS in those cages but who cares about them, where is Emily <3~
Robert_W: ... *Robert, having read a book or two in his day (Not like he's a NERD or anything), finds himself wondering if the wood is candy or something."
Brer_Lapine: There is no candy here, it is a sad fact of Robert's life that whenever there is something weird happening there is a complete lack of candy happening.
Morgan_L blinks, climbing up to see if the cages were locked or anything.
Robert_W: "So this is where they all were... but why HERE?"
Robert_W: "Guys, a little help with these cages?" Robert also checks to see if the cages are locked or anything. Because he figures even NERDS don't quite deserve this place. Although if there was a locker handy....
Brer_Lapine: There are no locks and no lockers, there is however twine with an intricate knot on all of the cages. Most of the NERDS are asleep/dead/other select only one but you hope you don't have to select the second because bringing home dead NERDS would be a complete and utter downer.
Morgan_L hmms, looking at the knot. Wasn't there something about some Gordian guy? Ah, well. She glances to Sauvage, before picking at the knot with hopefully clawed fingers.
Brer_Lapine: "What? now you want my claws as well? You really should consider growing a pair of your own."
Morgan_L nods. "Yeah, mom pinned me down and trimmed my nails last time I got them to a decent length, tho..."
Brer_Lapine: "Really she could use a pair as well, it would certainly make getting fresh meat for the household much easier."
Morgan_L laughs, admiring the vicious claws with shadowy flames flickering around them, before swiping a knot open. "Mom was not very happy when I brought home the neighbor's chihuahua. Grounded for a week, so unfair..."
Brer_Lapine: The hobs being small and some of them being mostly boneless have made spectacular work in infiltrating the cages where they subsequently began to raid the nerd pockets and take screws out of glasses. "What were we supposed ta' do again boss?"
Brer_Lapine: "I was rather proud, it was quite... succulent."
Robert_W: "Open the cages." Although what nerd will be able to tell the story about hobs stealing their lunch money?
Morgan_L blinks at the hobs, shaking her head some before opening the cage - taking a quick stock to make sure she used the not-clawed hand, she reaches in and slaps the NERD lightly. "Hey. Wake up."
Brer_Lapine: The Hobs gnaw through the twine quick enough and now most the cages are open. The NERD slightly groans and blinks "...General Krik is that you?"
Morgan_L blinks, giving the cage a kick and stepping out of the way, returning to investigating the area. "Ugh, Trackies."
Robert_W: Ah, the worst of the NERD archetypes has revealed itself... but a man has to do what a man has gotta do. >:\
Brer_Lapine: The Trackie nerd sits up and blinks, he looks more like some kind of stoner kid then a NERD but the reference was already made this kid was definitely a NERD.
Brer_Lapine: He smells like a stoner as well.
Brer_Lapine: "Am I still here? I thought it was a dream, a strangely emasculating dream..."
Robert_W: "How the hell did you get here, huh?"
Morgan_L nods some, barely paying attention to the nerd. "Oh, yeah, and did you see a weird boring girl who's trying too hard to grow up go by?"
Brer_Lapine: "Well the... Emily? No, I haven't see Emily recently why would the student council president be here?"
Morgan_L gives a shrug, picking up the red fire engine to look over it. "He says she's around here somewhere. Maybe she likes sweaty meetings with boys, I dunno."
Brer_Lapine: "Anyways all the electricity shut off and so everyone was going to go to the second computer lab for the Pariah Media Club showing of the week. But then the warlord came and dragged us all out here and we just danced around the fire and... Oh god we threw our Game Pilots into the fire! OH GOD THIS ISN'T A DREAM, WHAT HAVE I DONE!?"
Robert_W: So SHE'S the student council president. Suddenly he feels a lot more interested in that whole election thing... who did he vote for, again? Crap... that was the day that he followed that other kid with the weird dog.
Brer_Lapine: The NERD is now weeping openly.
Robert_W: "Eh? Danced around a fire? Warlord?"
Morgan_L glances into the dead? firepit, poking at the ashes if it's not burning.
Brer_Lapine: The Red Fire Engine looks like it's a quality old toy. The kind that you see in an antique shop but aren't allowed to play with because even though it's a toy it's the look at only kind of toy. It's also quality old toy in the sense that you're pretty sure it's painted with lead and other carcinogenic materials.
Brer_Lapine: tl;dr- it's oooold.
Morgan_L blehs, tossing the fire engine towards Pete. "Catch."
Brer_Lapine: There is a fire pit, you're pretty sure you can see the still smouldering remains of 280 hours spent attempting to get the rarest unlocks on the rarest import games made by the blind programmer monks of the Andes and translated only into Esperanto. If you were a NERD the sight would almost be heart rending.
Robert_W: As it is, Robert only figures that now these nerds will have to go OUTDOORS or do something less nerdy for a change. Although he doubts there'll be much change there.
Robert_W: "Still not sure how all of you ended up here. Or even where here is exactly, aside from being on the school grounds."
Morgan_L glances to the NERD things, and up to the NERD. "...looks like you did something incredibly stupid." She shakes her head, having vague ideas of the sort of torment due to her 50+ hours spent on Masque V for the StayPlayShun 2 but if you tell anyone she has that game you're itchin' for a kickin'. 'Sides, she wouldn't throw her SPS into a firepit. Dumb NERDS.
Brer_Lapine: "Well the Warlord took us here and there was this big ritual and something about starting new lives away from the adults but it's really hard to understand the Warlord see because the Warlord doesn't actually seem to speak we just started calling them the Warlord because they reminded us of the Warlord from Episode 357, Season 24."
Robert_W: "Well that doesn't tell me anything of what to look for, and starting a new life away from the adults with some person you don't understand sounds REALLY stupid too."
Brer_Lapine: "Well it was that or get beat up..."
Robert_W: Ah. NOW it makes sense.
Morgan_L shakes her head some, frowning. "So there's some weird old people convincing kids to throw away their electronic toys and dance around fires... and they have really old toys that aren't toys?..." She frowns some, peeking into the tent.
Brer_Lapine: "...Old? The Warlord is just a kid, psh you guys obviously don't remember that episode very well."
Morgan_L blinks, sighing softly. "No, I just don't watch a show that's existed twice as long as I have and been good for half as long as I've lived."
Brer_Lapine: "...You're crazy if you think that many seasons are that good."
Morgan_L shrugs. "I'm not the one who wastes my life watching it when I can learn things like kicking. Shall we leave our interests out of the talking?" She grins.
Brer_Lapine: "Only a complete N00B would think anything other than the first three seasons were quality and rest is nothing but the producers shitting in Darnielle Krugworth's still beating h- okay."
Robert_W: "In the meantime we still don't know why they did this or which way they went."
Morgan_L: !roll_ore 6
Robert_W: "... You know we can always stick you back in that cage." >.>
The_Lady: Morgan_L invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 3, 4, 4, 8, 9, 9
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x9, 2x4, 1x8, 1x3
Morgan_L snaps a leg out and hits the corner of the cage to send it spinning, moving on to another NERD who will hopefully be more pliant with the not-talking-about-Star-Track
Morgan_L smiles to the NERD with her best I-am-a-cute-girl-please-tell-me-what-I-want-to-know which is admittedly only slightly different from the borrowed from Sauvage I-am-a-predator-please-freeze-in-place-and-let-me-eat-you in that it does not include fangs. "Now, did you see where the "warlord" went?"
Robert_W: Gotta admire how a girl like Morgan handles her aggravating nerds. Even if her giant cat makes you angry by existing.
Brer_Lapine: "OhgawdI'mgoingbesick!" Another girl lurches up but wait she isn't a NERD, she isn't a NERD at all! That is Georgia Harrison who has a completely non-lesbian minion-master relationship with the most popular, evil malevolent queen bitch in the school. What the heck was she doing here?
Brer_Lapine: Georgia does not look alright, like somebody has been on an all afterschool day bender. "Warlord, I think they were going somewhere with Emily..."
Robert_W: Um... "Uh oh."
Morgan_L gives a nod. "I see." She looks around some for the most boringly ordered tracks in existence.
Robert_W: "We'd better do something about this, quick!"
Brer_Lapine: Hmmm.
Brer_Lapine: Left, right, left, right with a small indentation in the left heel to always make the tennis shoe brand name completely legible? That is probably the one.
Morgan_L gives a nod, glancing to the NERDS. "Alright, the tracks Robert and I made should be pretty clear that way, and should lead you back to the school. Follow the big paws that belong to a cat that could eat you all for an appetizer, but in reverse, and you should be fine. Pretend you're Chikof in that one episode if it helps." She starts following the orderly tracks,
Morgan_L: pondering the meaning of the fire truck that may now be in Pete's possession
Robert_W: Well, Pete DOES like to ride in style on occasion...
Brer_Lapine: Pete is no longer Bastard Pete but rather High Fire Marshall Pete with his trustworthy station of Hob FIRE ATTENDANTS. Well they would be trustworthy if some of them weren't eating paint chips off the toy, but what is a couple of lead pieces between Hobs?
Morgan_L chuckles, stroking Sauvage's back some as she follows the tracks. "Liking being back in a jungle?"
Brer_Lapine: Pete rides in style atop the toy truck as dozens of other Hobs push it along the bumpy terrain. The tracks seem to be actually willing rather than completely forced like earlier and up ahead there are creepy old jungle... wait never mind that isn't ruins it's some kind of crazy ass play ground.
Robert_W: "A playground? Out here? Seriously?"
Brer_Lapine: "It's certainly nostalgic but really I must show you what a real jungle looks like one of these days."
Brer_Lapine: The playground looks like one of those modern playgrounds with all the plastic and stuff but most playgrounds were not in mysterious dark jungles nor were they overgrown with jungle growth. There are two people standing upon the slide where a massive bonfire has been erected, one is probably the so called 'warlord' and the other? Oh god it's Emily... AND SHE IS WEARING LEOPARD PRINT!
Brer_Lapine: It's like a bad Tarzan fanfic and everyone is invited!
Robert_W: o.o "EMILY?!?"
Morgan_L gives a nod. "That'd be great. Maybe I could even do some real hunting...." She blinks some at the two people. Hm. She pokes at her own shirt. "Maybe I should get some kinda tiger or cheetah pattern..." she murmurs, before glancing to Robert at the shout. Well, alerting the warlord is one way... She does her best to hide for the moment - Sauvage always told her, ambush is the best policy.
Brer_Lapine: Emily turns around, yeah she is most definitely wearing a leopard print bikini.
Brer_Lapine: The Warlord stepped forward and uh... well you can tell they're young because they seem to be the same age as you but you can't tell if it's a girly boy or a boyish girl. Really all you know is they're some kind of wild child and that they somehow got Robert's crush to dress up in leopard print which is pretty amazing considering this girl wears business casual to schools even when it's not picture day.
Robert_W: This image alone will fuel dreams for weeks to come... err... who is that she's with, exactly? Is that their crazy warlord or whatever? "Um... something's... really odd about all this...." Perhaps he SHOULDN'T be rushing to her rescue...
Morgan_L eyes the bikini from her hiding place wrapped up in Sauvage's shadows. Hmpf. She even made the bikini boring...
Robert_W: Ah, well, too late for such thoughts now, "Who are you anyway? What are you doing with all the people in this school?"
Morgan_L watches quietly, hoping she wasn't too evident to the Warlord and Her Lady Most Boring.
Brer_Lapine: The warlord cleared his throat and the sound was like thunder in the distance. When the Warlord spoke it was like jungle drums in the back of your skull. "I come here to this school, I come offering a new life!"
Morgan_L winces some, glancing to Sauvage, whispering low enough for his superior feline ears to hear. "Maybe we can trade him a volume knob?"
Robert_W: >.o;;
Brer_Lapine: "He's speaking words to you?"
Robert_W: Wow, some people really need to turn down the volume on their voice. "Um.. do you have to say it so loud?"
Morgan_L blinks and nods. "He's really loud. Talking about a new life."
Brer_Lapine: "I was once like you! Scared, simple, and a slave to the witch that kept me. I come here to offer you freedom from them, the monsters that keep you captive." The warlord's voice sounds like jungle magic and an oncoming storm, which is kind of disturbing coming from a 12 year old.
Morgan_L blinks, frowning some.
Brer_Lapine: "I offer you a choice to free yourself from them, join us free from the constraints of the ones called... Adults."
Brer_Lapine: "Once they called me bright eyes but I escaped the witch that kept me enslaved with her magics and her dark medicines. I slew the demon beast which she kept to patrol her home and followed the spirits to these promised lands. Dance around the fire with me! Revel amongst the flames! Burn away your life and join me in joy!"
Morgan_L hmpfs, eyes narrowing. "He's trying to convince us to leave the adults and run half-naked in the jungle with him."
Brer_Lapine: The Warlord seems bigger now, not in actual size but rather his presence just seems to fill the playground like a great pressure. "You are not adults and by my side we can fight their poison, we will never have to take their dread curse."
Brer_Lapine: Savage chuckles. "I've been offering that for years."
Robert_W: "No thanks, I mean, they're a pain in the butt every time they don't let me go out when at night or when they tell me no and stuff, but... they're sometimes pretty cool. Although I dunno about all this dread curse you're talking about?"
Brer_Lapine: "Someday you too will become an adult but by my side, you will never have to worry of such a thing. You will be as our people were in the past before they came!"
Morgan_L nods, standing up and crossing her arms, striding out. "You're joking, right? You want to run around in your pink skin pretending to be something you're not? I'm going to live how I want, for sure - but I'm going to do it how I want. I'll become what I want to by my own hand, not give up and settle or some pathetic shadow of it. But worst of all, you talk about my mom like you know anything!"
Morgan_L glares at the stunty little warlord, too girly to be a guy and too mannish to be a girl. "And sure, I'll be an adult - like Sauvage. He's not a kitten, after all. So you can take your world and stop trying to force it on everyone!"
Robert_W: "... yeah, what she said. Except for being like the cat." >.>;; Darn girls standing up and stealing his thunder. Even if they ARE kinda cool.
Brer_Lapine: The Warlord seems to physically stumble at Morgan's response and that growing pressure seems to dissipate. "B-but you could join m-me and my queen, Doe Eyes..." The wild child's voice seems to have raised a couple of octaves.
Brer_Lapine: Emily seems to blink. "Doe eyes? I will have you know my name is Emily and when the self-destructive desires present within all human psyches surged past my masterful repression I was quite taken with your offer. But calling me Queen and Doe Eyes? That is simply unprofessional and I won't stand for it."
Brer_Lapine: "B-but..."
Morgan_L hmpfs, sneering. "You and your queen? Sad little boring nobles of a sad little boring world - not even a real jungle, just a pathetic overlay of a pathetic town - until you get hungry and go crying back to your mother's fridge, or eat garbage out of the fast food dumpsters? Forget it. 'Sides, I doubt Emily wants to be your 'queen'."
Morgan_L smirks. "Besides. Tigers don't travel in packs." She grins with teeth that are just a bit too long and a bit too scary. "Go home and get dressed. Learn to be a real predator, not just prey with his head in the dirt."
Robert_W: ".. wow."
Brer_Lapine: "I..." The Warlord is actually brought to tears and the massive bonfire gutters and dies. A multi-hued parrot flying through the low canopy drops stone dead at the Warlord's sign of weakness. Rare flowers that would only be seen in the jungle suddenly dried and shriveled as the owner of the jungle falters in his resolve.
Brer_Lapine: "But you'd never grow o-old..."
Brer_Lapine: "And be stuck with this hormonal sad sack for the rest of my days? She may be human but at least they get prettier when they're older." Sauvage rolled his eyes.
Morgan_L hmpfs. "Who'd want to be stuck as a kitten forever? Sure, growing up too fast like some people is stupid, but so's trying to never grow up at all."
Robert_W: "I don't wanna be like this forever. I wanna be taller, I wanna be bigger. I wanna know that one of these days people will stop looking at me and calling me a kid. SCREW that."
Brer_Lapine: Somewhere in the distance the thundering death cry of an elephant can be heard. Entire trees began to age in an instant, their branches smashing to the ground as they rotted away. "You could have been free from it all!"
Morgan_L hmpfs. "Freed into another sort of slavery. When I'm free, it'll be because I made myself free. Not because someone replaced my chains with ropes."
Robert_W: "Free from what? Being able to go play sports when I grow up, or maybe getting my own car or something? Man, I don't think I'm missing much."
Brer_Lapine: "But we could have rebuilt our empire..." The soft green grass of the soccer field begins to erupt from the dark earth of the jungle. Light can be seen breaking through the canopy and Emily looks for her cast away tennis shoes.
Brer_Lapine: "I was going to be the Warlord."
Brer_Lapine: "We would have fought them..."
Morgan_L rolls her eyes, stalking towards him with the slow tread of a prowling tiger. "You want to make an empire? Make it with your own hands. Don't just bring people in with honeyed lies to play at feeding your delusions of grandeur."
9:05 PM
Morgan_L clamps a hand on the Warlord's shoulder, staring into his eyes. "Your mom is probably worried sick about you. Go home and apologize."
Brer_Lapine: The tree line has already begun to become sparse and you can see the edge of the school as the trees break down as if in a stop-motion animation. What were once poisonous serpents the length of a car began to break down into dead meat and finally soil. Feral dogs that could crush a grown man's head in their jaws shriveled and turned into piles of plastic bags and old soda cans. An ancient crocodile that had taken the life of many a tribesmen groaned and returned to it's primordial roots as a lawnmower left on the school lawn.
Robert_W: "Yeah, man. Your folks are probably somewhere out there looking for you."
Brer_Lapine: "...I was going be the warlord." The kid is still strangely androgynous but it's definitely a kid not a warlord or a leader of the tribes.
Morgan_L gives a slight smile, ruffling the kid's hair some before sauntering back towards Sauvage. "C'mon. Let's go get some hunting practice in. The mailman should be making his rounds, and he's always fun to make paranoid."
Brer_Lapine: He got up and wearily walked off the field to the car lot as any remains of the jungle disappeared with his exit. Emily has found the majority of her clothes surprisingly and they still look like they've been ironed by a professional.
Robert_W: "Are... are you alright, Emily?"
Robert_W: "Sorry about messing up your Queen thing there." >.>;;
Morgan_L pauses and glances back to Robert and Emily. Then again, the inevitable shooting-down could be kinda fun to watch...
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage looks delighted. "I really must take you to a real jungle but this will have to do for the day."
Morgan_L hrms, glancing around for the hobs.
Brer_Lapine: Emily straightened her stuff. "Ah yes, Robin. I uh... hope you don't think any less of your council president for anything that happened today. I'd like if you'd keep any of this deviant behavior between us. You're a remarkably ordered young man, I like that."
Brer_Lapine: "...Uh Robert."
Robert_W: "Um... that's just fine, Emily. I can do that."
Brer_Lapine: She smiled her very orderly smile and then looks surprised as her cellphone buzzes in her pocket (Silenced of course as per school policy). "Oh that'd be my car pool, I really must be leaving."
Brer_Lapine: Bastard Pete crawled onto Morgan's shoulder. "Well lass it's been a fine day, eh?"
Morgan_L nods, tugging out a bit of granola bar and giving it to High Fire Marshall Pete. "I'd say so. Wonder if the nerds got lost."
Robert_W: "It was nice meeting you, though, Emily. See you later."
Brer_Lapine: Goes Down Smooth a young hob warrior is on Robert's head. "Boss been a good day, ya know what to do now , eh?"
Robert_W: "Kinda hungry, guys. Lets head home. I think there'll even be some good stuff to eat too."
Morgan_L gives Sauvage's ears a scritch, stretching some before giving Robert a grin. "See ya around, eh? Hopefully without random fake jungles showing up."
Robert_W: "Yeah, that'd be pretty nice. You take care of yourself."
Brer_Lapine: Pete leaps onto Robert's chest and deftly climbs his friend/boss/chief. "Boss, ya know yer goin' let tha lass getta- Hotdogs? We gettin' hot dogs right?!"
Robert_W: "Huh. That's a good point... HEY MORGAN!"
Robert_W: "Wanna... um.. go get hotdogs or something?"
Morgan_L pauses, glancing to Sauvage, still scritching his ears. "Eh, sure, why not. Mom won't be home for a few hours, so it'd just be sandwiches."
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage peers at Robert who would make an easy meal. "I am always disappointed that you humans don't roast dogs for that meal but I demand an offering of them."
Robert_W: Robert checks his pockets... does he have enough for giant killer aggravatio...err, cat? YES... just barely enough!
Robert_W: "I guess I have enough... Maybe." >.>
Brer_Lapine: Pete puffed out his tiny chest. "Well then we deman' two offerin's!"
Brer_Lapine: "You can't have TWO offerings, it would simply be a larger offering."
Brer_Lapine: "Then we demand that."
Brer_Lapine: "Over your dead body."
Brer_Lapine: "Oi, big words comin' from a pussy cat!"
Morgan_L chuckles. "I'm not expecting you to buy for Sauvage and I, yanno."

On Players Exceeding My Expectations
Brer_Lapine: [o.o]
Brer_Lapine: [A+++]
Robert_W: (... a winner is Morgan.)
'So you say your name is Ulysses,
that you're wandering around the world.
Tell me sir, have you ever been arrested before?'

This is the worst thing. -bassist159

Here there be dragons.
 
User avatar
The Purples
Essence 5
Essence 5
Topic Author
Posts: 527
Joined: 06 May 2006, 22:39
Title: Goddamn Purples
Exalt: Solar
Fighting Style: The Purple.
Artifact: 800080
Location: The Purple.
Contact:

Re: Tales of Eighth Grade Nothings (MAOCT)

07 Jan 2010, 17:50

Bring it on, Plushiemancer.

Adventure #5, Session #1 - A Supposedly Fun Thing That Lydia Will Never Do Again

Adventure Cast:
Morgan Lennox and Sauvage
Lydia Lynch and Horrible Alien Lifeform (HAL)

TL;DR- I have never been a single mother, as such I have an incredibly hard time writing as a single mother. There is some parties, there is a super nerd, and there are enough star trek references to kill a horse with Gene Roddenberry's face.

Brer_Lapine: True fear has been described as many things by many beings in this dimension. The hideous gnawing paranoia of a stock clerk worrying about who keeps eating his top ramen in the break room.
Brer_Lapine: The fear of communism that erupted over night in the great state of Dakota after the Orchard Riots and the black month that followed its inevitable failure. The sanity shattering fear of the S'HRRK Stories featured in episode 288 which will devour your identity and replace it with something alien and distinctively birdlike.
Morgan_L: [:>]
Lydia is still afraid of pigeons. ;.;
Brer_Lapine: But two young girls know in the East Dakota town of Ascend know true fear. True Fear is an angry single mother beating at your locked door because they refuse to come out. Or as Sauvage knows it, true fear is the fact that Colleen Danielle Lennox has found the nail clippers.
Brer_Lapine: Tonight is the annual meeting of The Daughter's of Ascend, the regional debutante organization which is responsible for Mother-Daughter bonding and other hideously boring stuff like that. Some disastrous cosmic occurrence has caused both parental units to decide this was a good idea and are trying to drag the two of you to the event.
Brer_Lapine: Horrible Alien Life-form has tried on multiple occasions to wipe the thought from Lyddie's parental mind but it keeps coming back like an unchecked tumor but having to deal with girly social functions.
Lydia: "But... but Mooooooooooom~, Star Track is on tonight! DX "
Morgan_L eyes the bars on the window - ostensibly put in for security reasons, though only after she'd scuffed up some nice jeans climbing down - as she glances to the shadows under her bed. "Any ideas that don't involve tearing a wall down?..."
Brer_Lapine: "Pressure on the throat to constrict the airflow, she should be unconscious for a good deal of time."
Morgan_L: "...ideas that don't involve hurting her?"
Brer_Lapine: "What is your definition of hurting?"
Brer_Lapine: Olivia Lynch, who is obviously Lydie's natural mother and not an adoptee nor impregnated by aliens as HAL has already checked these possibilities thoroughly, is waiting outside Lydie's room. "Young lady if you aren't bathed and ready to go out within the hour, then I'm going to personally cancel every single cable subscription this household has."
Morgan_L sighs some and hrms, glancing to the door and calling out in her best sick voice. "Mom, I -really- don't feel very good...." It was worth a try, even if Sauvage insisted feigning weakness was one of the most dangerous behaviors to undertake [except to lure weaker predators in for the kill].
Lydia: "But Mom, nobody there is gonna know anything about anything important! I won't be able to have a sensible conversation with any of them! They probably think Commander Robot's positronic brain is constructed from nanofilaments instead of picofilaments like those jerks that run FanTrack.com! DX "
Brer_Lapine: "Oh honey really? Let me in so I can feel your head." Morgan's mom might be a task master and just as bullheaded as her daughter but she was still human and you couldn't ignore your child's pain... could you?
Brer_Lapine: "Maybe you can talk about some of the girl's other interests, maybe you'll find out something else you both like. Could you try to do that for me?"
Morgan_L quickly rubs her forehead some as she makes her way over to the door, unlocking it. Best sickly girl fake-out she could do go!
Brer_Lapine: Colleen kneels down and then... hands Morgan a dress. "You can vomit in the car."
Lydia: "... like Professor What? I suppose I could talk about that, but I don't really follow it as much, I mean there are some episodes I've only seen twice... "
Brer_Lapine: [I do believe that Colleen just out predatored her own daughter :V]
Morgan_L: [Damn XD]
Lydia: (I lol'd. XD )
Morgan_L blinks at the dress, pouting. "....fine." She could probably slip out of the meeting while the women were talking anyway...
Brer_Lapine: "Like boys or local politics, I don't really know Lydia. Maybe you'll meet a girl that likes to write those Clinician Hut stories like the ones you do."
Lydia: ".... y-you weren't supposed to see those." Lydia blushes. You're not supposed to know people who write fanfic in real life! It's, like, a rule or something. It's in the constitution somewhere, Lydia's sure of it.
Brer_Lapine: "Yeah well your mom can use the internet as well, young lady. Can you please try to do this just for me?"
Morgan_L closes the door and gets changed into the dress, hmpfing. She WOULD be wearing her boots, though. Heeled shoes make you look lame.
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage looks honestly surprised. "You know she does have certain attractive traits... for a prey species."
Lydia: "Alright. .__." Lydia is easy enough to bully, but she spends more time making sure both VCRs are set to tape Star Track (one regular, one close-captioned!) than she does fancying herself up.
Morgan_L grumbles, giving a dirty look at the shadows under the bed, packing some REAL clothes in a little bookbag hidden under a small novel, slinging it over her shoulder.
Brer_Lapine: If one could observe both mothers at the same time, which you can't as you obviously don't know each other yet, You would notice they both disappear and come back in similar bargain dresses from the local chain store. They both look very pretty but it's not really like you're allowed to call your mom that, it would be totally embarrassing. Not as embarrassing as one of your moms in their bathing suit at your school swim party but that is mind boggling in how embarrassing it would be.
Lydia isn't happy because there's nowhere to hide her emergency boredom kit, and she has a feeling she'll need it tonight. DX
Brer_Lapine: HAL who is able to watch all these things at the same time if it so pleased would be able to observe them asking their daughters if they were ready almost simultaneously.
Lydia: "Yessss." Lyddie is convinced that this is going to be terrible, that she'll be bored and/or make a horrible scene somehow, and that everyone is going to make fun of her for not seeing Star Track live. ;_;
Brer_Lapine: The emergency boredom kit should not be confused with the Emergency Boredom Kit which is a small package introduced in episode 32 when Commander Robot was stuck in the ice nebula.
Brer_Lapine: All good trakkies have one of those.
Lydia: Lyddie named hers after that, but hers doesn't have space opium in it. :(
Brer_Lapine: Morgan is escorted to her mom's dusty pick-up truck and Lydia is of course taken to the hybrid which isn't officially only the market but mom knows a guy from college and you know how those things are.
Lydia: Uncle River is kind of weird but at least he knows that Counselor Skimpy is /half/ Telepathoid instead of just a Telepathoid.
Brer_Lapine: The Daughter's of Ascend meet in the rich part of town. You know it's the rich part of town because your mothers had to go through the massive black iron gates at the edge of town and show ID to the gate keepers. It's kind of like webisode 7 of the viral ad campaign that eventually became the new series of Star Track.
Morgan_L climbs in, grumbling some and buckling up.
Lydia: Ascend isn't being secretly run by reptoids in human skin planning to eat everyone in the city for afternoon tea. :B
Lydia: That would be far too interesting.
Brer_Lapine: HAL doesn't ride in cars, the basic presumptions by which they are designed simply cease to exist when it sits down in them.
Brer_Lapine: Not only that but their paint job becomes 20% more obnoxious, which is an oddity even to the space oddity.
Brer_Lapine: The Ascend County Auditorium and Ballroom was created by a massive influx of wealth to the region in the mid 80s. With this new found wealth they were able to commission the award winning architect, Galthorp Skadi, to create them a public building for the arts and social functions.
Brer_Lapine: It appears to be a massive grey brick wall that someone had decided to poke doors and windows into. It was often ignored and shunned as the hideous end result of modernist architecture but this fact was the reason the Daughter's of Ascend and their sister organization the Son's of Ascend were able to use it as their own personal fortress.
Lydia thinks it looks like the Cyberguys assimilated it. It's creepy. :(
Morgan_L occasionally pondered how hard it'd be to learn to climb a sheer grey brick wall. Obviously using Sauvage's paws is cheating.
Brer_Lapine: HAL thinks the grand spires and eldritch curves that are unable to be seen by the simpler humans are nostalgic and reminiscent of it's birth.
7:05 PM
Brer_Lapine: A number of miserable looking valet drivers are waiting around in the cold Dakota evening.
Lydia feels sorry for them. They don't get to watch Star Track either. :(
Brer_Lapine: Wait does that one have a hand-held TV? THAT BASTARD!
Lydia: D:<
Brer_Lapine: There is no time for that as both mothers quickly rush you indoors out of the cold and into the... oh god it's worse than you thought!
Morgan_L keeps her bookbag close, giving a dour look at the inside of the building.
Brer_Lapine: It's like episode 14 but instead of the crew have all their skins replaced with robots, everyone seems to be have had all their everything replaced with prom queens.
Brer_Lapine: Big ones, small ones, and some might even go to your school.
Morgan_L hmpfs. Social predators of the worst sort.
Lydia: School? Oh no. Mom's gonna get mad when she gets swirlied in her new dress. ;___;
Brer_Lapine: All of these girls and their mothers standing around with various girly drinks, eating little hors d'oeuvres, and socializing. Worst of all it's like they all know something you don't but that could just be a growing sense of discomfort being in this strange social situation.
Lydia: Captain English is probably saving the ship in a totally awesome way even this very minute. .__.
Morgan_L glances to the girl at the other door, noting the similar discomfort - school-aged girls can sense discomfort, you know, much like a predator senses weakness - and hms. As shameful as making a pack might be, they -are- outnumbered. "Mom, I think I see a friend from school, may I go say hi?"
Brer_Lapine: Morgan your mom has a grin on her face, it's kind of creepy. "Yeah sure get right out there, I'll just be talking with some of the other mothers."
Morgan_L forces a smile and heads over towards Lydia, frowning some inwardly. Something's really not right here...
Brer_Lapine: Lydia your mom had smuggled a cellphone into the premises and quickly excused herself to make some business related calls, which is totally cheating.
Lydia is totally marooned in a hostile landscape. This is worse than a Sucktastic-class planet. ;_;
Brer_Lapine: Which occurred in episode Lydia's Life.
Lydia: It certainly feels that way sometimes ;.;
Brer_Lapine: HAL is currently standing by the refreshment table, you can tell because there is an older man trying to not make direct eye contact as the terrible alien being continues to hold conversation with him.
Lydia: (One time the Wanderer landed on a Sucktastic-class planet but the T-1000 was waiting for them and wanted to know if John Conner was on board :( )
Morgan_L steps over to the NEEEEERD, giving her a smile with just a bit too much tooth. "Hey, uh, we go to the same school, right?"
Lydia: Even HAL found someone to talk tOHGODSOMEONE'STALKING. "I-er-uh-um, y-yes? o.o " Lydia has an oh-god-not-a-swirlie-already look on her face.
Morgan_L gives a nod. "You, uh, might wanna stand somewhere other than the door, it's pretty conspicuous."
Lydia: O_O "Oh wow you're right, duhr, I mean, that was the whole point of episode 014, Linger In Doorways, when Lieutenant Expendable died, uhm, is there anywhere here without so many... people? >_> " Lydia doesn't seem to understand that it's perfectly acceptable to end sentences before you're done talking.
Morgan_L restraints a facepalm. "That's a good question. Other than outside? Not sure."
Morgan_L sighs and looks around. Maybe there was a second floor or something...
Lydia: "Oh. .__. So, uhm..." Lydia hesitates. "Yeah. Is there anything to /do/ here? Or does everyone really just stand around and talk the whole time? >_> "
Brer_Lapine: There are a number of tables that aren't being used by anyone and since only the reception area is being used in theory the entirety of the actual theater would be abandoned right now.
Morgan_L: Or a back room. Or, really, anything. "As far as I can tell, that's pretty much it. C'mon, let's go this way." She makes her way over to one of the doors leading deeper into the theater.
Lydia: "Uh... okay. o_o " It's more interesting than this and it doesn't /look/ like a bathroom, so...
Brer_Lapine: The door is unlocked and leads to a red carpeted hallway, there are a number of discarded play programs that haven't been put into the proper receptacle but then again Ascend hasn't had a theater troop come through since either of you were babies.
Lydia would totally join a theater troupe if they put on that play that Mr. Beard was doing in that episode where it wasn't a play and he was really in the insane asylum except it was really a play except he was really in an insane asylum. :B
Morgan_L pokes through them some, giving a little sigh of relief as the oppressive presence of the primadonnas was left behind. "Ugh. The adults'll be talking it up for ages, probably; this is as close to a 'knitting circle' as most of 'em get. And the snobs probably won't follow us. I'm Morgan, by the way."
Lydia: "Oh! Uhm, hi! I'm Lydia. o.o "
Morgan_L nods. "The guy by refreshments with you, too?" None of the snobs seemed the type to get a real friend - at least, not one that wasn't going to dress, talk, and act just like them - and he did sort of stand out. [assuming he wasn't Deliberately Hiding and everyone else just had him on Weirdness Filter]
Lydia: "W...wait, you can perceive achronal temporons too?! O___O "
Brer_Lapine: "I am often pleased by surprise," Hal seemed to have wandered in after the two of you or perhaps just started existing at this point as well. "Please consume this cheese cube, I am fond of them and I am attempting to bond through nutritional consumption."
Morgan_L blinks and stares a moment, before facepalming. She glances around through the shadows, wondering where Sauvage had decided to slip off to.
Lydia: "Ooo, cheese. Thanks HAL. :D" Om nom nom, cheese, it is delicious.
Morgan_L takes a cheese cube if offered one. "Ah, thanks, 'HAL'." She smiles, popping it into her mouth.
Brer_Lapine: "I attempted to discuss a man's hobbies with him, but he was most reluctant to talk about adultery with myself."
Lydia: "...people tend to be that way about it, yeah."
Morgan_L frowns softly as she looks around... Okay, either Sauvage was asleep on her bed or she was about to get jumped from the shadows
Brer_Lapine: "Well I can't just appear whenever you want, child. But if you must get all teary eyed about it then I suppose I'll have to show myself."
Brer_Lapine: A few minutes earlier a young bartender learned the answer to the old adage of "What do you give an 800 pound tiger of shadow and flame when he demands your business?"
Morgan_L sighs softly in relief, shaking her head. "Just makes me paranoid when I don't know where you are."
Brer_Lapine: "Well I certainly wasn't going to eat anyone, you always get so huffy over that entire matter."
8:00 PM
Lydia: Lydia scootches away quietly. Biiiiig cat. O__O
Brer_Lapine: "Oh we appear to have a mouse, perhaps I was lying about what I said earlier."
Morgan_L chuckles, rubbing his ears as he steps out of the shadows. "I know, but you DO tend to jump me from places you shouldn't even be able to hide... So this is Lydia and HAL, our fellow abductees."
Lydia hides behind HAL, even if this isn't terribly effective a defense. o_o
Brer_Lapine: "Your usage of the term abductees while referring to the form you are able to comprehend is quite humorous." Hal took a correspondence course in symbolism.
Morgan_L: [SIM 101: Sometimes a cigar is more than a cigar.]
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage looks at HAL who uses it's lidless eyes to stare right back at the cat. "Morgan, you always find the children with the oddest of companions. Few of them as great as me, but few truly could be simply as wondrous as me."
Brer_Lapine: Lydia this cat might be creepy but he reminds you of the reoccurring villain Space General Halkathol, who has yet to meet a permanent death but is the nemesis and comrade of Commander Robot on a number of occasions especially mid-series when they were losing writers.
Lydia: o.o Lydia still isn't sure it won't eat her. There was that time in episode 134....
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage gives her a toothy smile, it's terrifying.
Lydia: Meep! ;.;
Brer_Lapine: :3
Brer_Lapine: HAL doesn't understand the response of fear.
Morgan_L chuckles softly. "Now, now, let's not scare her. She seems to be the only other one here not full of herself."
Brer_Lapine: The tiger gives Morgan a heavy pawing. "Ego is an essential part of being a true predator."
Morgan_L stumbles a bit from the paw, chuckling. "I know, but she already recognizes your predator status, see?"
Brer_Lapine: "What about yours, hmmm?"
Morgan_L glances to Lydia. "Am I scary?"
Morgan_L: She gives that grin. No, doesn't need Sauvage's help for it, it's just her grin.
Lydia: o___o
Lydia: ;___; "I knew I was gonna get a swirlie tonight...."
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage looks incredibly smug.
Morgan_L nods. "See? So give her a break, she's already terrified of the girls outside."
Brer_Lapine: "Perhaps I will."
Brer_Lapine: "Human Child Lydia, why are you hiding within the bowels of the modernist citadel?"
Brer_Lapine: "I neglected to query earlier."
Lydia: "'Cause my mom made me come here tonight. I'm missing Star Track! >:( "
Brer_Lapine: "Indeed, would you like me to inform you of what happens?"
Brer_Lapine: Morgan it appears you are in the company of a NERD.
Lydia: "No! DX No spoilers!"
MaidenofEndings has quit the server saying: Disintegrated: What sort of dream did you have, as you rested on the corpse of another's dream?
Morgan_L had kind of picked that fact up earlier, and was simply focusing on Sifu's instructions to stay calm.
Brer_Lapine: "Further query, are you going to watch the show?" HAL pointed towards the entrances into the actual theater.
Lydia: "You know I always tape it on both VCRs, HAL."
Brer_Lapine: "I am referring to the show within this civic performance center."
Lydia: "... what? o.o "
Morgan_L blinks. "Uh, I think this place has been abandoned. Are you saying there's one going on?"
Brer_Lapine: HAL gestured towards the doors. "Perhaps soon."
Lydia: "...seriously? AWESOME! :D "
'So you say your name is Ulysses,
that you're wandering around the world.
Tell me sir, have you ever been arrested before?'

This is the worst thing. -bassist159

Here there be dragons.
 
User avatar
The Purples
Essence 5
Essence 5
Topic Author
Posts: 527
Joined: 06 May 2006, 22:39
Title: Goddamn Purples
Exalt: Solar
Fighting Style: The Purple.
Artifact: 800080
Location: The Purple.
Contact:

Re: Tales of Eighth Grade Nothings (MAOCT)

07 Jan 2010, 18:13

Adventure #5, Session #2 - A Supposedly Fun Thing That Through the Vagueness of Time Will Never Stop Doing

Adventure Cast:
Morgan Lennox and Sauvage
Lydia Lynch and HAL

TL;DR- I always start with something like "PRETEEN HEROES!" or the like, I'm doomed when they actually become teenagers and I run out of terms I can describe them with. In fact the very thought of it is filling me with a sort of dread that is keeping me from even thinking about what happened in this session.

Brer_Lapine: When last we met our preteen heroes they had been drafted into the DOA by their mothers which wasn't nearly as awesome as the acronym makes it sound nor was it anything like the DOA in Star Track because it wasn't a shadowy cult being headed by Ensign Gambol. The young woman and NERD had decided to abandon the utter lame social event in favor of exploring the Ascend County Auditorium.
Brer_Lapine: HAL had mentioned something about a show from the supposedly empty main theater. Maybe there was some kind of dress rehearsal for a show going on or something?
Lydia: It's gotta be more interesting than anything going on with the nowhere-near-as-awesome-as-Ensign-Gambol's DOA.
Brer_Lapine: Ensign Gambol's inevitable redemption in the 38th season was hella lame though. Not as lame as this social event because it was still Star Track which is super awesome but hella lame.
Morgan_L showed sufficient interest in the abandoned theater that had stuff going on to go start peeking on into the darkness, cell phone backlight serving as an impromptu flashlight [can't rely on Sauvage's eyes for everything, or she'll never get keen nightvision of her own]
Brer_Lapine: (That is what all the carrots are for)
Brer_Lapine: Theaters that were built to hold major city crowds are creepy in the dark. In fact this place is double creepy because HAL's very existence caused a low droning ambient soundtrack to play in the back of your head.
Brer_Lapine: When the girls get near seats the stage lights suddenly turn on with a loud snap and from the low belly of the orchestra pit both the girls can hear the tuning of instruments begin.
Lydia: O_O
Lydia: Oh noes a dimensional crossrift, this is just like Episode 5x24 where Doctor Hologram discovered the secret of everything. ;_;
Morgan_L hms. Odd. She peers around some.
Brer_Lapine: That episode is awesome because Uncle River got a walk on role.
Brer_Lapine: Except for that entire GHOST STAGE thing going on nothing else seems to be on. It doesn't look like anyone is up in the sound booth either. Sauvage growing bored with this entire curiosity thing had begun grooming himself in the dark.
Lydia: "So I guess we're not ascending to join the ancients in Atlantis, then? o.o " She sounds simultaneously disappointed and relieved.
Brer_Lapine: Morgan you are suddenly seized with a brief and passing urge to humiliate Lydia. It's not exactly a malevolent urge, it's more like some primal reaction to something that NERDy
Morgan_L grimaces and rubs one temple. It's like some kind of crazy infesting wor- oh, god, the nerdiness is spreading.
Brer_Lapine: HAL who is unaffected by the sudden assault of NERD simply puts one of it's unnaturally skinny hands on Lydia and points at the stage. "Move closer?"
Lydia: "Nyeep!" Lydia jumps about a foot in the air. "Uhm. o.o Okay? " She looks pretty hesitant.
Morgan_L glances back some, before making her way up to climb onto the stage.
Lydia follows. Slowly. At a distance. >_>;
Brer_Lapine: The lights on stage are nearly blinding but there is something about being on stage that just makes you feel so damn popular. This must explain why the school has a drama club, that kind of feeling must be addictive. More importantly beyond the blinding lights you can almost hear something that sounds like an audience murmuring.
Brer_Lapine: Lydia hears nothing of the sort.
Morgan_L frowns some, squinting at the darkness. "You hear that, Lydia?"
Lydia: "Hear what? D: "
Morgan_L frowns. "Sounds like there's people in the seats."
Lydia: "..but there aren't. D: "
Brer_Lapine: Morgan you can almost vaguely make them out past those lights.
Lydia: "Oh god we're in that hotel from The Glinting ;_; "
Brer_Lapine: ...There is that urge again, Morgan.
Morgan_L sighs. "Do you have to do that?"
Lydia: "Do what? o.o "
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage doesn't get on the stage, he has his own reservations about the performing arts. Something about a cousin? Morgan can still him down in the aisle chuckling to himself at the exchange.
Morgan_L grimaces. "Phrase everything in reference to events in your subculture like that one episode of - AUGH~!" Now the girl had HER doing it!
Lydia: "....doesn't everyone do that? It's like that episode where Captain English makes contact with that alien that only speaks in metaphors!"
Morgan_L twitches some. "Yeah, but it only makes sense if the other person knows it, yanno?"
Lydia: "... there are people that don't watch Star Track?"
Lydia: "Is their TV broken? You can watch it on the internet now, you know."
Brer_Lapine: "It appears that many people do not get it, Lydia."
Lydia: "But... :( "
Morgan_L nods. "Yes, listen to the gray alien, he makes sense - and oh jeez, I never thought I'd say something like that x.x" She sighs and starts to investigate behind the stage.
Lydia: "But it speaks to the experiences and hopes of every generation with award-winning stories and timeless tales of the human spirit. The back of the DVD box set said so. ;.; "
Morgan_L sighs. "There's watching it, and then there's obsessively making it the sum of your experience, you know what I mean?"
Lydia: "It's not the sum of my experience! I watch Doctor What too. :( "
Morgan_L glances back. "Doctor who?"
Lydia: "Doctor What. He flies a phone booth through space and time and has died 11 times but keeps regenerating because they need new actors. It's from England. :D "
Morgan_L blinks and staares a moment. "...you mean there's a show weirder than Star Track. Wonders never cease..." she mutters, before making her way backstage.
Brer_Lapine: Lydia it's probably better to not to mention Apus Engagement if she thinks THAT is weird.
Lydia: .___.
Brer_Lapine: Morgan when you attempt to go backstage you're greeted by a most peculiar sight. They appear to be stage hands but stage hands don't range in height from mere inches to as tall as an NBA player and most don't have wings or various other fantastical features.
Morgan_L blinks. Wow. She peers around at them, doing her best to avoid attracting attention.
Lydia: o___o
Lydia: "Neaaaaaaaaat. :D "
Brer_Lapine: All of the stage hands freeze and a couple dozen sets of eyes (and some extras) gape at Lydia.
Brer_Lapine: Morgan something about them sort of reminds you of the Hobs, they have that same odd appearance to them and the air of hunger.
Brer_Lapine: Lydia this is super awesome, if you had a camera or something you could totally post this on your blargk.
Morgan_L hrms and frowns some, staying hidden behind a plywood wall. This looks slightly unnerving. Was there some kid here?
Brer_Lapine: There is a terrible whipping sound like really damn good rat tail on a NERD during gym class. The fairies/stagehands/freaks of nature suddenly get back to work a hideous hag (that looks surprisingly like Morgan's next door neighbor) comes storming up to Lydia.
Lydia: O____O
Brer_Lapine: "What'r ya' doin' here and ya ain't even dressed properly!" The hag gave Lydia's dress a poke. "The Giants 're coming and ya aren't even dressed fer your role!"
Lydia: "r...role? D: "
Brer_Lapine: "Actors always gabberin' on! Get yer' little rear to dressing afore I take my leather to yer' pale little skin."
Lydia: "I'm n-not an actor! D: I only had one line in the Kindergarten play and it was "I mean you no harm" and I forgot it ;___; "
Lydia: (this is a true story)
Brer_Lapine: "You improvised very well," HAL patted Lydia on the head with those awful fingers.
Lydia: "I don't think 'Shaka, when the walls fell' made any sense in context. :( "
Morgan_L eyes the hag, looking around before climbing up some scaffolding if she could. Pouncing from ambush was good, and pouncing from height was better.
Brer_Lapine: "Well Shakr down the halls, then! I gots a show to run and a patron ta' please."
Lydia: "I... what? o.o "
Brer_Lapine: The hag rears up to her full height and almost reaches to Lydia's neck but not quite. "Are ya' goin' ta act tanight or are we going ta' need the puppets again?"
Lydia: "...puppets? I can't act! D: "
Brer_Lapine: She looked behind her and yelled back into the dark depths of the backstage. "Maplethorpe, we're goin' ta need a puppet over here!"
Brer_Lapine: Maplethorpe is tall for a stage technician in fact he looks like a basketball player on stilts and carrying alongside him is a terrible looking skeletal puppet made of polished white wood.
Lydia: Creeeepy... :(
Brer_Lapine: "Now it ain't like we're going to take your skin and put it on this here puppet," She smiled a grin like something out of one those pamphlets your dentist gives you on oral hygiene. "Tha's what we do ta' union men."
Lydia: "....wait what? D: "
Brer_Lapine: "We jus' need some of yer' hair." She made little graspy hands at the hair on Lydia's head.
Lydia puts her hands on top of her head. "Nonono, I like my hair the way it is. ;_; "
Brer_Lapine: "Well it's th' stage or tha' puppet!"
Lydia: "Secret Option C! Neither! DX "
Lydia is well familiar with the principles of Atlantean sympathetic magic and practices strict discipline regarding hair security.
Morgan_L leaps down in a way totally like that one character from the Murderer's Ethos game, except with a foot to the back of the hag's head instead of a secret elbow knife. "We're not here to be in your stupid play! There's not even supposed to be a stupid play going on, this theater's been shut down forever! So just leave her alone!"
Lydia: "Nyeep!" Lydia was not expecting sudden Death From Above. x.x
Brer_Lapine: The hag doubles over holding her head and cursing words should only be heard in R-rated movies and Uncle River on team speak. "Ya' split mah melon! Ya' terrible little oomans!"
Morgan_L hmpfs. "And you started being a bully, so I think that makes it even."
Morgan_L has a very odd sense of equitability.
Lydia: Considering 5 minutes ago she was giving Lydia shit over her fangirling >.>
Morgan_L: That's totally different. She was just trying to get the girl to talk in a way other than reference, not force her into creepy hair-removal rituals or shove her on stage.
Morgan_L: :D
Brer_Lapine: "I do not wish to spoil your victory, Morgan. But..." HAL pointed out back onto the audience that was once phantom and now is quite uh... tangible.
Lydia: "...meep."
Morgan_L glances back to the audience and hmpfs, punching one fist into the other (ow! >.< Need to stop doing things that hurt!). "I guess tonight's feature presentation is being replaced with Kung Fu theater?"
Brer_Lapine: Morgan's shadow grew in size even in the direct spotlight on stage and Sauvage casually emerged. "I always did detest the stage but I suppose if someone must protect a lady in training."
Brer_Lapine: "Which is to say you... because you're wearing a dress... IT IS HUMOROUS!"
Lydia: "The prime directive states that violence is a suboptimal solution... can't we have a diplomatic summit or something? ;_; "
Morgan_L hmpfs. "The dress just means I have to keep from getting it dirty. It's a challenge!"
Brer_Lapine: "Is not violence the primary climax of the Star Trek episode, Lydia?" HAL stared at the assembled crowd.
Lydia: 'Well... yeah. But you can't admit that. D: "
Morgan_L strikes an ironically Captainly pose. "Darn the Prime Directive, we're here to stop them from creeping this place up!"
Lydia: "Just like Captain Dramatic o.o " Lyddie's problems appear to have been thoroughly cleared up by this.
'So you say your name is Ulysses,
that you're wandering around the world.
Tell me sir, have you ever been arrested before?'

This is the worst thing. -bassist159

Here there be dragons.
 
User avatar
The Purples
Essence 5
Essence 5
Topic Author
Posts: 527
Joined: 06 May 2006, 22:39
Title: Goddamn Purples
Exalt: Solar
Fighting Style: The Purple.
Artifact: 800080
Location: The Purple.
Contact:

Re: Tales of Eighth Grade Nothings (MAOCT)

07 Jan 2010, 18:37

Adventure #5, Session #3 - A Supposedly Fun Thing That Lydia Was Going To Do But Then There Was A Theater And Fairies and All Kinds of Weird Stuff

Adventure Cast:
Morgan Lennox and Sauvage
Lydia Lynch and HAL

TL;DR- Usually I take most OOC comments out but this was most people's first ORE combat so I decided to leave some of it in so you understand why things are happening. If you really don't care then, I suggest skipping through all the constant rolling to read the delicious little quips embedded in that WALL O' STRIFE.


Brer_Lapine: Last time on Grade 8, Lydia displayed an astounding knowledge of ancient atlantean magical theory and Morgan proved she would make a good starship captain. They also proved that the theater was infested with fairies... the other kind of fairy that isn't normally associated with musical theater or the performing arts.
Lydia: Lydia doesn't get it. o.o
Brer_Lapine: This time on Grade 8? STRIFE!
Lydia: Abscond! D:
Brer_Lapine: YOU CAN NOT ABSCOND!
Morgan_L: Strife and conflict? Seeking to bring me down?
Morgan_L: WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!?
Brer_Lapine: +10 NERD points.
Morgan_L: ...I was totally quoting Bruce Lee. <lie>
Brer_Lapine: The hideous hag woman and the rest of the backstage crew don't seem they have all night. In fact, most of them look rather impatient about this entire strife deal. Perhaps they never negotiated for overtime during Strife battle?
Morgan_L: [Morgan has a total of 5. 3 Brains, 2 Out-Think]
Lydia: (Brain 5 Out-Think 2 >.> )
Brer_Lapine: [The Backstage crew and the Hag both go first in declaration out of professional courtesy. The Hag will be going for Lydia's hair and the backstage crew will assault Lydia with assorted light bulbs and gaffing tape.]
Lydia: ( DX )
Lydia: (noooooo!)
Morgan_L: [Poor Lydia is hated.]
Morgan_L will kick the shriveled old hag in the face with borrowed Paws of Shadowed Flame, while Sauvage will sneer at the nearest crew with his Wicked, Grinning Maw
Lydia: Hal, activate the Gigeresque Techno-organic Implants! Their creepiness will deter attack. DX
Brer_Lapine: [Lydia can do something as well]
Lydia: [ABSCOND DX]
Morgan_L: [You attempt to outrun the hag. Both of you roll Feet+P.E., but you get an effective +2 to your roll's Width for the sake of seeing who gets to the door first.]
Morgan_L: [Assuming your Wicked Fast relates to movement]
Lydia: D..dodge? ;_; Lydia doesn't get in fights! It's a violation of the First Duty of Spacegroup ;_;
Morgan_L: [Such as Useful: Improbably Fast Legs]
Lydia: (and yes)
Lydia: (Uncanny Valley Legs, Wicked Fast x2)
Morgan_L: [Hee ^^]
Brer_Lapine: ROLL
Morgan_L: [Roll is Feet+Dodging]
Brer_Lapine: !roll_ore 8 Light Bulbs and gaffer tape oh my!
The_Lady: Brer_Lapine invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 4, 5, 5, 6, 6, 7, 10, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x6, 2x5, 2x10, 1x7, 1x4
Lydia: !roll_ore 5 oh god run little nerd child ;_;
The_Lady: Lydia invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 2, 2, 4, 7, 9
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x2, 1x9, 1x7, 1x4
Brer_Lapine: !roll_ore 7 HAIR :D!
The_Lady: Brer_Lapine invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 3, 4, 5, 5, 7, 9, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x5, 1x9, 1x7, 1x4, 1x3, 1x10
Morgan_L: !roll_ore 6 Burning paw to face technique!
The_Lady: Morgan_L invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 2, 4, 4, 6, 9, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x4, 1x9, 1x6, 1x2, 1x10
Morgan_L: [Setting 2 to 10]
Morgan_L: [Awesome x2]
Morgan_L: !roll_ore 6 What large teeth you have...
The_Lady: Morgan_L invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 1, 3, 6, 8, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x1, 1x8, 1x6, 1x3, 1x10
Morgan_L: [Actually, make that 2x4 for the paw attack]
Morgan_L: [Er, 3x4 XD]
Morgan_L: [So 3x4 paw, 2x1 grin, Paws have Wicked Fast, Maw has Gnarly.]
Brer_Lapine: [Alright so paws go off first and then Morgan has to explain the new singe marks on her dress and the light bulb shards in her hair]
Brer_Lapine: [Kon did you roll for HAL?]
Lydia: !roll_ore 8 Hal is being creepy D:
The_Lady: Lydia invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 2, 3, 3, 3, 4, 5, 7
The_Lady: Possible sets: 3x3, 1x7, 1x5, 1x4, 1x2, 1x1
Brer_Lapine: [Hahah]
MaidenofEndings has joined the channel
Brer_Lapine: [Alright so paws go off first and then Morgan has to explain the new singe marks on her dress and the light bulb shards in her hair. HAL succeeds in defending Lydia from a hag and Sauvage means more fairies are going be filing for workman's comp then ever before.]
Morgan_L: Morgan snaps a burning kick into the hag's gut with a triumphant kiai, before pausing and giving an ack to pat out the singed, fraying hem of her dress.
Morgan_L: [So the crew was attackign Morgan after all?]
Morgan_L: [ <Brer_Lapine> [The Backstage crew and the Hag both go first in declaration out of professional courtesy. The Hag will be going for Lydia's and the backstage crew will assault Lydia with assorted light bulbs and gaffing tape.]]
Brer_Lapine: [Oh snap, that'd be my dyslexia talking]
Brer_Lapine: [But yeah Morgan takes a point of bruising to the face]
Brer_Lapine: [Technically they can use all three since they're a hazard but Sauvage knocks off one and HAL knocks off one so they only get a single light bulb off.]
Morgan_L winces as a lightbulb smacks her on the cheek. Darn it, that might swell some...
Morgan_L: [Ah, ouch.]
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage who wasn't there a moment ago is now cheerfully chewing on the remains of a pixie or a brownie or whatever the hell you call a sound technician with butterfly wings.
Brer_Lapine: HAL did... well something was glowing and the universe seemed slightly smaller for a moment and then Lydia wasn't in danger of physical harm.
Brer_Lapine: It was creepy :(
Brer_Lapine: [Round 2 Declarations]
Brer_Lapine: [>.>]
Morgan_L: Morgan's going to give the three-letter word for a witch a swipe across the back for harassing the NEEEERD. Sauvage is going to impose his majestic self between the crew and Morgan (Defends).
Morgan_L: [Shadow-Striped Hide. Will he be subject to attack, or are they focused on her still?]
Brer_Lapine: {Oh derp I forgot to send}
Morgan_L: [Yes, you did, heh.]
Morgan_L: [Hence why noone declared XD]
Brer_Lapine: [The backstage union now thoroughly threatened by the tiger's assault of fellow union members is going focus mostly on him, they have even broken out the heavy weapons in the form of prop sword and lighting poles. The Hag still feels this is all Lydia's fault and will continue to chase her for precious hair.]
Morgan_L: [Then I suppose he'll use it for self-defense, now that they're focused on the most dangerous predator. :3]
Brer_Lapine: Mapelthorpe the particularly tall and gangly stagehand from earlier is considering his choice of profession. He was only two weeks away from retirement...
7:15 PM
Lydia: "Aaaaaaack!" Lydia escapes in the general direction of up, Hal having taught her that gravity is largely a delusion of four-dimensional minds. Hal, meanwhile, covers her escape by flinging a large trunk of assorted props at the hag!
Brer_Lapine: !roll_ore 6 Nothing says threat like a plastic battle axe
The_Lady: Brer_Lapine invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 2, 3, 7, 7, 9
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x7, 1x9, 1x3, 1x2, 1x1
Lydia: !roll_ore 5 lydiadodge!
The_Lady: Lydia invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 4, 7, 7, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x7, 1x4, 1x10, 1x1
Brer_Lapine: !roll_ore 6 Hags are part ape.
The_Lady: Brer_Lapine invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 3, 4, 5, 7, 7, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x7, 1x5, 1x4, 1x3, 1x10
Lydia: !roll_ore 10 HALsmash!
The_Lady: Lydia invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 1, 6, 7, 7, 7, 8, 8, 9, 9
The_Lady: Possible sets: 3x7, 2x9, 2x8, 2x1, 1x6
Morgan_L: Morgan blinks as the hag tries to run off. Who runs when someone like her is around, anyway? Leaping burning-hand rake to the back GO! Sauvage stares at his side where the plastic battle axe embedded itself... and is now melting away.
Morgan_L: !roll_ore 10 Puny stagehands, your time is come!
The_Lady: Morgan_L invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 1, 4, 4, 4, 7, 7, 8, 10, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 3x4, 2x7, 2x10, 2x1, 1x8
Morgan_L: [8->3x10]
Morgan_L: !roll_ore 6 Burn, baby burn...
The_Lady: Morgan_L invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 4, 6, 7, 8, 8
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x8, 1x7, 1x6, 1x4, 1x1
Morgan_L: [1-> 3x8]
Brer_Lapine: While the beginning of the battle seemed ever so helpful for the assorted thespians of the Ascend Underground Fairy Conservatory Theatre, the battle was quickly turning against them.
Brer_Lapine: Not only had they lost a prized battle axe that was used in 3 of the last productions they had done but the stage manager had just got brained by a preteen with burning tiger claws and crushed under a larchwood chest that had been a gift from the Queen of Oakland.
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage is feeling much better because the pathetic antics of thespians and fools can't pierce his invulnerable hide.
Brer_Lapine: ...Only little girls with tummy rubs could do that but it was a closely guarded secret.
Morgan_L: It's so true.
Brer_Lapine: Mapelthorpe wondered what his wife would think if he had become a janitor instead. They had such nice easy jobs and the eating was so good...
Brer_Lapine: [Round 3]
Brer_Lapine: [The stage crew has a new challenge in Sauvage, they're going attempt to bring out the heaviest guns and actually bring out the cleaning supplies to drive the dread beast off. The Hag is going do her best impression of the wicked witch of the east.]
Lydia: (g...get squished? >_> )
Brer_Lapine: [Exactly]
Morgan_L: [Got smashed by a chest that's only a little bit smaller than what Sakura Sakura wants]
Morgan_L: Rubbing her cheek some and grumbling, Morgan glares back at the stagehands, giving a fearsome grin with shadowy replicas of Sauvage's majestic fangs. "Give up now and maybe we can talk this out." Sauvage gives a sigh of irritation at the cleaning solvents and does his best to stoically ignore the tickling.
Brer_Lapine: [Sakura Sakura isn't in this game... I swear!]
Morgan_L: [Wicked Grinning Maw attack to inspire fear, more Invulnerable Hide mockery.]
Lydia is clinging to the rafters. This is the bad part about ignoring gravity, you end up in high places. ;_;
Brer_Lapine: !roll_ore 6 Use the RAID it's all we have left!
The_Lady: Brer_Lapine invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 2, 2, 3, 5, 7, 9
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x2, 1x9, 1x7, 1x5, 1x3
Brer_Lapine: !roll_ore 3 The chances of a set are getting pretty low.
The_Lady: Brer_Lapine invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 5, 7, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 1x7, 1x5, 1x10
Morgan_L: !roll_ore 10 Pazetik
The_Lady: Morgan_L invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 1, 2, 2, 6, 6, 7, 8, 8, 9
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x8, 2x6, 2x2, 2x1, 1x9, 1x7
Morgan_L: [9-> 3x8]
Morgan_L: !roll_ore 6 Fangs for the memories.
The_Lady: Morgan_L invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 3, 5, 6, 7, 7, 9
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x7, 1x9, 1x6, 1x5, 1x3
Morgan_L: [2x7 with +1 damage]
Brer_Lapine: A goblinoid type pixie thing who was busy spraying Sauvage with an aerosol can quickly crumples from cardiac arrest or perhaps self-fumingation. The Stage Hag's feet have mysteriously curled up and disappeared underneath the prop chest which was feeling quite uncomfortable being accessory to murder.
Brer_Lapine: Mapelthorpe stared down at Morgan, he didn't mean to be disrespectful looking down on someone it just sort of happened. His voice was deep and slow like a glacier after a nyquil bender. "Par-lay?"
Morgan_L: Morgan grins some, giving a nod. "Parley. Hey, Lydia, think the fighting's over." She winces, rubbing her cheek where a small shiner was starting to form from lightbulb smack.
Lydia whines, clinging to the rafters. "Are you sure? ;_; "
Brer_Lapine: Lightbulbs while not often discussed in military circles held a certain tactical value in the area of junior aged skirmishes that should never be overlooked.
Morgan_L looks to the other goblinoids and Sauvage smugly shaking off what little scraps of offensive stagecraft weaponry hadn't been burned away completely. "Yeah, I don't think they're going to be trying to burn your hair off anymore."
Lydia: "Why did I go so high up? ;_; " She sneaks a look down and instantly regrets it.
Brer_Lapine: HAL looked up Lydia and shrugged.
Morgan_L: Morgan gives a slight sigh, turning to Mapelthorpe. "I'm sorry we got in the way, but we were trying to figure out what was going on and suddenly the hag lady started grabbing and yanking on Lydia's hair."
Brer_Lapine: You know Morgan they are kind of odd, like that ren faire your mom tried to drag you to once.
Brer_Lapine: Well except for that fairy thing...
Brer_Lapine: On second thought they probably aren't that odd after hanging out with Robert, thoug.
Morgan_L: Hag was such a great word. So short and simple, but with so much disgust in the sound.
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage who has been fed and exercised through this little back-stage romp is looking very smug and after the last assault is smelling like a chemical inferno with the hint of lilac.
Morgan_L gives a sigh. "Anyway... Um, I guess we'll be going... once Lydia gets down from there."
Brer_Lapine: "Really? You'd miss the show?" Mapelthorpe's way of speaking drew the sentence out over a minute and in the time he was inquiring HAL had already fetched his little NERD charge from the perils of gravity.
Lydia: "Thanks... @___@ " Lydia doesn't like heights.
Morgan_L pauses. "Show? Well, it's better than going back to the main hall, I guess... And I didn't want to be a bother since we sort of barged in and got swipey..."
Lydia: "As long as I don't haffa get a haircut. :< "
Brer_Lapine: "Really, it isn't a bother, our treat. Nobody knew what to do with Nancy anyways..." By the time the tall man finished speaking a number of small goblins in red usher suits were showing the girls to front row seats.
Morgan_L blinks and nods, moving to take the seat and glancing to Lydia. Oh, god, don't let her compare it to any episodes like where Doctor What met Anton Chekov or - darn it!!
Lydia: Luckily, Lydia can't read minds, or she'd remind Morgan that Chekov was never on Doctor What, but he played a recurring roll in Sumeria Four.
Morgan_L: [Hee ^^]
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage who had never much been a fan of performing arts beyond the occasional marathon on the nature channel and movies filmed before Morgan's mother was born had simply decided to nap. HAL already knew someone was going complain about his head and felt absolutely no guilt sitting besides it's charge.
Brer_Lapine: The show opened subtly with the house lights dimming opening on a quiet sleepy town and a number of spooks dressed like regular children. A fake car was driven across the stage, there was a hole in it most likely caused during the fighting but you never can tell with artists.
Morgan_L reached into the shadows, giving the incorporeally melded Sauvage a much-deserved bellyrub as she watches.
Brer_Lapine: Most the lines went over their heads but that was probably due to the fact most were done in ridiculous accents and a strange screeching dialect which made you distinctively uncomfortable that everyone else got the joke but not you.
Brer_Lapine: The gist of the story seemed to be about some kind of teen pregnancy and a fancifully appearing city that erupted from the very soil around the small quaint town. Then the massacre began...
Morgan_L blinks.
Brer_Lapine: Satellites rained from the heavens, actor went after actor, and the buildings crumbled away just as they mysteriously arrived. The orchestra played a strange atonal piece and then the curtains fell. It was met to standing applause by the strange shadow crowd around you though...
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage actually emerged from the shadows himself on that last act. "I enjoyed the part with the blood, personally."
Lydia: o_o
Morgan_L applauds some after a moment, confused but habit overcoming awkwardness.
Brer_Lapine: Most of the actors come out for a bow and then leave before returning for an encore. They follow through with this several times before the rest of the audience gets tired with this and starts to wander off themselves.
Morgan_L hrms and nods, standing and glancing around. "May as well check on the parents and such, see how long they'll be, right?...."
Brer_Lapine: Lydia it reminds you of Doctor What episode 02 "An Engagement At the End of Existence." which popularly thought to be the best episode of anything in the history of television by liberal arts majors between the ages of 18 and 35.
Lydia: "I... I suppose. o.o " Lydia's kind of shocked the fairies know about it, because there's only 3 known copies of that episode in existence and she owns two of them.
Morgan_L waves to the fairies before making her way outwards
Brer_Lapine: The other one was religiously copied from VHS tape to VHS tape where it was only allowed viewing during finals week and only while everyone was particularly buzzed or wanted to get lucky with another viewer.
Brer_Lapine: Upon exiting the theater there is a peculiar feeling of exiting a dream or perhaps the feeling of making something uncanon.
Morgan_L blinks. Okay, that's odd.
Lydia: Lydia's canon senses are tingling! She is acquainted with the sensation.
Brer_Lapine: This is definitely the hallway you entered from as there is still a spilled cheese cube on the ground.
Morgan_L has no clue what that sensation is, and so shakes her head and continues on to sneakily peer into the main room.
Brer_Lapine: It seems much later then when you entered and you notice that a lot of girls aren't there anymore.
Brer_Lapine: Colleen is sitting at one of the folding tables by the bar. She doesn't look particularly happy but that could be for any number of reasons and not all of them involve you or Sauvage at all!
Brer_Lapine: Olivia does not seem to be around but she could be any number of places that have cellphone reception.
Lydia: Probably playing a cellphone MMO. Won't let Lydia have one, but /she/ can... >:|
Morgan_L makes her way over to her mother. "Hey, mom.. I made a friend." She smiles.
Morgan_L: [And suddenly Lydia is making the E.T. face. "Frrrieeeend? :o"]
Lydia: o___o People use that word in reference to me?!
Lydia: I knew this couldn't be canon ;.;
Brer_Lapine: Morgan's mom looks up from her scotch on the rocks and actually seems genuinely surprised? Relieved? Glad? SO MANY CONFLICTING EMOTIONS. "That's nice Morgan, I'm glad you had fun."
Morgan_L frowns some. Well, the 'Where were you I was so worried' land mine seems to be out of the way. "Something wrong?..."
Brer_Lapine: "Nah, I'm just not a social predator like you are," She gives her best stepford smile. HAL begins pulling on Lydia's arm and pointing as a very uh... wet looking Olivia comes back into the building. If Colleen had looked upset, then Olivia was a writhing engine of fury like the Fury Engine from Apus Engagement.
Lydia: "Uh oh." o_o
Morgan_L frowns some, glancing over to Olivia. Oh, dear.
Brer_Lapine: "There you are!" Olivia is very damp, like just out of the shower kind of damp. Maybe Ascend was having freak thunderstorms again and Olivia on her phone had just gotten caught in one?
Lydia: "Uh, yeah. o.o "
Brer_Lapine: "Where the heck have you been?"
Morgan_L gives her mom a hug, and makes her way over towards Lydia some.
Lydia: "Uhm. Not outside. o_o "
Brer_Lapine: "Well that's good, did you have fun." Olivia is fiddling with her glasses, this means she is either thinking or angry. You can usually tell the difference by if she is using her raiding hand or her normal hand.
Brer_Lapine: Tonight she was using her raiding hand.
Lydia: "Well I made a friend. I think. >_> " Lydia is still concerned that this might not be entirely canon.
Brer_Lapine: "... Really?"
Lydia: "Well I know I don't have much experience with that but that's what she said so I think it's safe to come to that conclusion. >_> "
Brer_Lapine: Olivia looks over at Morgan. "You didn't give her a swirly or something, right?" She turned back to her daughter. "You aren't having some kind of stockholm syndrome thing, right?"
Morgan_L smiles, refraining from borrowing the fangs so as not to horribly scar her new nerdy friend's mother for life. "Heya... We had fun exploring the old backstage. Sorry if we worried you; I kinda dragged Lydia back there, so it's my fault."
Lydia: "I... I didn't get a swirly this time, no. >_>;; "
Brer_Lapine: Olivia gives her daughter the biggest hug which would be far more pleasant if she wasn't wet.
Lydia: "Ack what DX "
Brer_Lapine: "My little girl is growing up, I'm proud."
Lydia: "We- we already had that talk mom and I don't think now is the time for review! o_o "
Brer_Lapine: "This is a different talk."
Lydia: ".... there's more? But I already read the whole biology textbook and it didn't say anything else..."
Brer_Lapine: Colleen who wasn't one for being left out of the situation comes over with her drink in hand. "Well this is the adulthood talk, not the biologically prepared for furthering the species talk."
Morgan_L fights off the urge to facepalm like Captain English (darn it) and smiles. "Maybe we can do something like that again. See you at school, Lydia." She makes her way back to her mom. Hm, hopefully this wasn't going to be one of those drives where she has to shout 'mom, car coming'."
Morgan_L scratches that. Yeah, that's a Captain English facepalm.
Brer_Lapine: "Wait, wait. I want to know what happened to her." Olivia upon hearing this just blushed and mumbled something under her breath.
Lydia is rapidly going through a list of Star Track episodes in her head and thinks that this must be some sort of reference to the episode where Acting Ensign Bland was at Starfleet and was involved in a scandal and had to Do The Right Thing... but she hasn't blown up any training planes in an ill-advised stunt...has she?
Brer_Lapine: "What was that?"
Brer_Lapine: [Olivia] "Igotaswirly."
Lydia: D:
Brer_Lapine: She does not look very happy about that.
Morgan_L blinks. "Wow... and I thought adults stopped that."
Morgan_L stopped giving NEEEEEERDS swirlies, despite all temptation, after Sifu Robinson informed her that swirlies can be a tool for great good instead of evil.
Lydia has never given a swirly. o_o
Brer_Lapine: Colleen takes another long drink and shakes her head. "F*** this place."
Lydia: o_o
Brer_Lapine: Oh.snap. Somebody is going have to put money in the curse jar!
Morgan_L blinks. "H-uh. The Daughters, or?..."
Morgan_L knows better than to call her mother on the curse jar, much like one does not poke an angry wolverine cornered in its' den.
Brer_Lapine: "Yeah, while the two of you have been having fun, I've been dealing with townies all night. Also they were asking 20 dollars for a steak on a paper plate, you know what? I cook a better steak then these jerks!"
Morgan_L blinks. "I guess we won't be coming to any more of these, then?" She gives a slight grin, barely holding back the 'told you so' feeling.
Brer_Lapine: "Screw this place, screw these snobs, and screw that shitty bartender. I'm going home and I'm going cook a better steak than this."
Morgan_L nods some. "You do cook great steaks, mom." Even Sauvage would agree: if food had to be cooked, she was the one to do it.
Lydia is still kind of shocked that people curse at things other than clearly broken game physics or terrible guildmates.
Morgan_L: [Or people who say the Undertaking can achieve Warp 10 when that clearly breaks the laws of Warp drives.]
Lydia: (Except for that one episode of Star Track but even the writers have disowned that one. Nobody wants to think about Captain Shrew devolving into some kind of giant salamander thing.)
Brer_Lapine: Uncle River once cursed at a politician.
Morgan_L: Uncle River's not so much people as crazy and awesome in human form, though.
Lydia: Lydia has repeatedly asked HAL if it knows Uncle River but his responses are always cagey and uninformative. Not that this is unusual for HAL.
Brer_Lapine: "Alright well lets go home and eat steak!" Okay now it's quickly becoming obvious that this is going be a 'mom car' drive and Colleen has had more than is responsible for a government employee or responsible mother to drink.
Brer_Lapine: "...Do the two of you want a ride home?"
Morgan_L frowns some, trying to swipe her mom's keys from her pocket, glancing over. "Ah, that would probably be good..."
Brer_Lapine: "Yeah I thought so..."
Lydia: "Yeah o.o " This is like that video they showed in health class that starred the voice actor for the dub of that one anime o.o
Brer_Lapine: And so ends another wonderful adventure in the town of Ascend with a very serious message for this holiday season. Don't drink and drive kids!
Morgan_L chuckles.
Lydia totally didn't leap up in class and shout "Kari-sama!" at the top of her lungs when he said his first line. And anyone who remembers differently is clearly delusional.
Morgan_L snickers.
'So you say your name is Ulysses,
that you're wandering around the world.
Tell me sir, have you ever been arrested before?'

This is the worst thing. -bassist159

Here there be dragons.
 
User avatar
The Purples
Essence 5
Essence 5
Topic Author
Posts: 527
Joined: 06 May 2006, 22:39
Title: Goddamn Purples
Exalt: Solar
Fighting Style: The Purple.
Artifact: 800080
Location: The Purple.
Contact:

Re: Tales of Eighth Grade Nothings (MAOCT)

08 Jan 2010, 01:34

Adventure #6, Session #1 - The Best Adventure Because Nue Is In This Adventure, Other Stuff Happens Too

Adventure Cast:
Lydia Lynch and HAL
Alejandro Roa and Nue
Aiden Gray and Hikari

TL;DR- Look at the title of this adventure and that is really all that matters. Nue is basically amazing and even though he isn't introduced until halfway through the session, he quickly eclipses my paltry attempts at tragedy when I killed off Aiden's parents.


Brer_Lapine: Dead used as an adjective does not truly encapsulate the experience of dead things. When someone refers to dead weight they are not usually describing the wiggly and limp feeling of dragging the heavy weight of a human body. When your parent is demanding you to be dead silent, they are not describing that terrible silence after a murder.
Brer_Lapine: Aiden, your parents are dead. This narrator may not be a doctor, but if a medical examiner were to take a good stab at it they would come to a similar conclusion that Sherman and Dorothy Gray had ceased to be living.
Aiden_Gray: ...
Brer_Lapine: The ranch-style house did not seem any less homey and the blues song buzzing away on the aged stereo system didn't seem any sadder. Really the only difference is your parents who were usually bustling around the house were instead frozen in place their faces a mixture of fear or pleasure or perhaps shocked confusion that they had expired so suddenly.
Aiden_Gray: (...can I tell how they died?)
Brer_Lapine: Seeing as how you aren't a forensic inspector nor a medical specialist probably not, but you do get the sneaking suspicion that the new shiner on your back from a couple hours ago might have something to do with it.
Aiden_Gray: ...Aiden isn't sure how he feels about this turn of events.
Aiden_Gray: Because there's some small part of him that is very quietly glad that they're dead and another part of him that is sad because while they hadn't really loved him, they were still his *parents*, and...and still just standing there in shock.
Hikari` supposes, given that the boy seemed rather taken aback by the turn of events, it was high time she revealed herself to her young ward. A pair of arms clad in long silken sleeves with shifting patterns reached around young Aiden's shoulders, drawing him back into a soft embrace. "...I will not quietly stand by while others hurt you and hurt you, ever again..." murmured a woman's soft voice with a faint sound of a growl barely heard behind it.
Aiden_Gray: ...
Aiden_Gray: "...who are you?"
Aiden_Gray: ...what. what was going on here.
Brer_Lapine: Aiden, today was like your birthday but instead of getting cake you got a punch in the throat. And while the individual responsible tried to explain their actions the entire reality of the moment had melted away to reveal the disgusting naked truth of the world which makes most people feel incredibly small.
Brer_Lapine: Happy birthday, Aiden Gray!
Aiden_Gray: ...it was too much to hope for that he'd get a *happy* birthday. Or even just a completely uneventful one would have been fine, too. But then, things always got worse.
Hikari`: "Princess of the farthest north, protector of the downtrodden, beauty to break a thousand hearts... your steward... but you may call me Hikari." The regal woman's voice seemed very proud of the titles, becoming warm at the end. "...what else may I do for you?"
Aiden_Gray: "...*where did you even come from*?" just. staring. maybe a little blankly.
Hikari`: Actually staring at the strange 'person' might be a poor choice for his rapidly crumbling worldview, in her unhidden form - an unnervingly tall and slender woman dressed in those kaleidoscopic robes, nine tails seeming to dwarf the rest of the room behind her, and a bestial fox's head atop. "...the farthest north, though that isn't as important as that I am here now and they are not~.And what name and titles do you go
Hikari`: by?"
Aiden_Gray: ...looking. away. yes. can he keep what little worldview he had from crumbling away? "...Aiden Gray." and he adds a moment later by reflex, "ma'am."
Brer_Lapine: Blocks and blocks away, in a town they called Ascend, a lonely little limo drove through the cold winter streets. It has been driving all day from the city to this podunk little thing not quite a town and not quite a city. This detail was important as it somehow made it immune to most known tax laws and as such was the perfect hide away for the rich and politically influential.
Brer_Lapine: As any canny child would know, the rich and politically influential always drove motor vehicles far longer then needed for reasons not quite known.
Hikari` nods. It would do, for now, though she'd have to help him acquire some proper titles. Noting his discomfort looking at her she sighed. Of course her true regal self could not be viewed directly; she settled on an illusory appearance closer to her poor rattled charge, looking lfor all the world like a big sister [disregarding those ears and (now spatial perception-respecting) tails]. "We have much to discuss, I think~..."
Brer_Lapine: You know Lydia, since meeting HAL the concept of watching live cattle mutilation had become less horrifying and more routine. Additionally, the concept of being hit with a speeding car while still utterly terrifying had gone from the category of 'life ending' to simply 'Going to make me miss Space Track'
Lydia`: Just as bad! D:
Brer_Lapine: Perhaps we should look back a few moments earlier (HAL also had that knack) to the moment that a very large limousine had made contact with Lydia's uh... heinie.
Brer_Lapine: For the average child this would mean painful bruising or a lifetime in a wheelchair, for a child imbued with the powers of a terrible extraterrestrial being it had meant a chauffeur that was fearing an international incident.
Lydia`: Anyway why are cars hitting me?! DX
Brer_Lapine: Alejandro, there are few things more embarrassing then having your chauffeur hit a native and those are in order. Being the target of an assassination attempt, having your mom slick down your hair with spit, and moving to East Dakota.
Alejandro_Roa: First, he had had to pack away all of his things to move. Then, he missed Masked Hero Kickerman MX-RED, because he had to give all his old contingency plans to his schoolyard friends.
Alejandro_Roa: And now he was an accessory to vehicular manslaughter.
Brer_Lapine: "NUE CANNOT GO BACK TO PRISON, NUE EATEN UP BY GUYS IN THERE. PASSED AROUND BY MEAN MEN LIKE CURRENCY AND THEN BECOME DRUG MULE!"
Alejandro_Roa: "Calm down, Nue. Nobody is going to prison." This is the worst week ever.
Alejandro_Roa: And then he was going to roll down the window and peer out to see precisely how many peices they were in. This was going to take forever, wasn't it? :(
Brer_Lapine: "BUT NUE NOT LEGAL IMMIGRANT, NOT EVEN HAVE PROPER PAPERWORK TO WORK IN COUNTRY. NUE HAVE ONE OF THOSE FACES, THEY PUT THINGS IN AND NUE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT THINGS AND AND NNNNNNNNNNNGH!"
Brer_Lapine: The girl was surprisingly in one piece, maybe American's just have very strong butts.
Lydia`: It also helps that HAL taught her how to apply quantum mechanics to macroscopic objects. Not existing temporarily feels weird. :(
Alejandro_Roa: That would be right. Stupid Americans, inconveniencing him by standing in the road. "Nue, my dad said he would pay off whoever was in charge of putting monsters through INS."
Brer_Lapine: "OKAY NUE FEEL BETTER NOW." The chimera gave it's best interpretation of a frown that looked a little like this... '___'
Alejandro_Roa: This was how the world worked. Even if something was impossible, enough money in enough unmarked envolopes in enough dead drops made it happen. "Excuse me, would you mind not standing in front of my car?"
Lydia`: "Huh? o.o Oh, that's the front. x.x Sorry I thought I was behind it after you hit me except you didn't hit me because then I'd be dead or something probably. Stupid quantum mechanics wrecking causality, HAL said this would happen. :( "
Brer_Lapine: HAL knowing with 99.88877779142% certainty that this wasn't a universe that Lydia was going to die and spark the fourth world war, had already walked off to introduce a Santa Gertrudis cow to his probe-o-matic.
Lydia`: Lydia is trying to not think about that.
Brer_Lapine: HAL was kind of terrible like that sometimes
Alejandro_Roa: "...I understood almost none of that. Is this how all of you Americans talk?" This was the worst week ever.
Lydia`: "N.. no, most people don't know what I'm talking about most of the time. Except on the internet. I guess that's where all the normal people are. o.o "
Brer_Lapine: "Mr. Roa?" The chauffeur looked like he was going have an aneurysm at this entire turn of events but was at least partially relieved that she showed no immediate results of being hit with a car and maybe she would toddle off somewhere and die quietly in her sleep without ever mentioning getting hit by a car.
Alejandro_Roa: ...Well this was awkward. What did he do now? Hitting her with a car again probably wouldn't work either. And there was no one to immediately buy off. So complicated. "Ah... Do you need a ride? I think there's enough room in here."
Brer_Lapine: "GIRL TALK LIKE ALEJANDRO WHEN NUE WATCHES THE ANIMES BUT SO MUCH LESS CRYING. SO MUCH LESS CRYING…"
Lydia`: "o.o Really?! Yay! Now I'll get home in time for Star Track! Thank you! :D "
Brer_Lapine: "IS GIRL GOING CRY ABOUT DRESS!? NUE NOT WANT WORLD END WHEN GIRL START CRYING ABOUT DRESS. NOT CRY GIRL, NUE NOT THINK YOU NEED EAT SANDWICH!"
Alejandro_Roa: "Nue, she is nothing like the girls in the girl in Destiny\Overwrought Exposition." Alejandro remembered that he needed to replace his computer mouse still, too.
Brer_Lapine: Lydia you are looking at something that might be a giant animate teddy bear if a teddy bear was instead made out of a monkey, tiger, snake, and screeching.
Lydia`: ".... omg you know D/OE? :D " All doubts about the....whatever it was have now vanished.
Brer_Lapine: It kind of reminds you of the corny special effects from season 1 Doctor What.
Brer_Lapine: "...GIRL AM NOT SCREAMING."
Lydia`: "N.. no? That'd be mean. I mean unless that's how your species says hello? Uhm. Baa weep grana weep ninibong?" She offers a hand.
Brer_Lapine: "...AM HAPPIEST DAY OF NUE'S LIFE."
Brer_Lapine: '___'
Alejandro_Roa: "See? She's fine, now let her in the car. This is Nue, and you're going to have to give the chaffeur directions."
Lydia`: "Uhm, okay! Never been in a limo before. o.o HAAAAAAAAAL. Are you done with your experiment?"
Brer_Lapine: The large chimera scooted over and opened the door for the girl. Lydia briefly remembers some sort of safety strategy about cars and strangers, but these guys knew about D/OE so those rules obviously didn't apply.
Lydia`: Obviously. Lydia gets in! :D
Brer_Lapine: HAL is covered in bovine viscera but also gets into the car. "I apologize, I am covered in viscera from a terrestrial bovine."
Alejandro_Roa: ...Curious indeed. "It's fine. It's not my favorite limo anyways."
Brer_Lapine: The androgynous gray limousine stared at Alejandro. "I understand."
Lydia`: "Y-yeah, we kinda noticed. o.o " Lydia is getting sort of used to these things by now but that may not be the case for others. "Oh, uhm, Nue, this is HAL. HAL, Nue. And, uhm, Mr. Roa." Overly formal but she guesses that if he has a limo he must be like a doctor or something, like that show her mom used to watch.
Brer_Lapine: "NUE DELIGHTED."
Brer_Lapine: "Similarly."
Brer_Lapine: "NUE AM REMINDED OF CHUPA... CHUPALUPA? CHUPALTA? CHURRO? CHUPALIBRE."
Brer_Lapine: "Chubacabra."
Brer_Lapine: "NO NUE AM REMINDED OF CHUPALIBRE."
Brer_Lapine: "… Fascinating."
Alejandro_Roa: "Call me Alejandro. My dad would likely ground me or file a lawsuit if someone who didn't work for us called me Mr. Roa. It's nice to meet you, HAL, and...?"
Brer_Lapine: The limo started up and sped down the road. The driver eager to put in his two weeks notice and start a new life as a lumberjack far away from all paved roads and mysterious girls that inhabit them, had rolled up the backseat window.
Lydia`: "Lydia! :D " Wow. Is she actually making another friend? Mom's gonna flip. o.o
Alejandro_Roa: "Ah. All right, then, Lydia." Small talk. Alejandro once read a book about this for class, but mostly remembers being hit in the back of the head with a ruler by a nun. This was considered a classic education, in the old country.
Brer_Lapine: The nuns of the old country were highly trained professionals.
Alejandro_Roa: Professional child beaters. :|
Brer_Lapine: That didn't make them any less professional.
Brer_Lapine: On an amateur note, Aiden you have gotten over the initial shock of your dead parents. Well you've gotten over the initial shock of your parents dying and a large female uh... thing, telling you she was going to look after you. Obviously the most logical thing to do was get rid of the bodies.
Aiden_Gray: ...good question on how to do that.
Brer_Lapine: Hikari, they're so cute when they're tiny and helpless like a baby bird!
Brer_Lapine: Of course you could always just call the police about your parents being dead.
Hikari` resumes the embrace in her new way more human (even if those eyes make you feel like a tiny mouse) 'older sister' appearance with those ears and tails noone would ever notice.
Aiden_Gray: ...that works. And. um. the phone. The receiver's around here somewhere...
Brer_Lapine: In the kitchen.
Aiden_Gray goes to get the phone.
Brer_Lapine: It's one of those old numbers, complete with the dial ring. Your parents really liked to buy things the old classic way instead of getting newer and sleeker models.
Hikari` trails after him, peering around the rather disturbinglty undisturbed house, ignoring the two bodies. They weren't important anymore..
Brer_Lapine: Really the police were only a phone call away...
Aiden_Gray: He reaches for the phone, and then pauses. "...um. ma'am?"
Brer_Lapine: But then of course there would be all sorts of questions and you couldn't just tell them HIkari did it, probably. Not to mention foster care or having to go live with some distant aunt or being taken into some kind of child underground boxing slave trade.
Hikari` leans in some. "Yes, Aiden?" She smiles a small-fanged smile.
Aiden_Gray: ...that smile is unnerving. "...my parents. I...um, people are going to ask questions, and we can't just...leave them here."
Hikari` gives a nod. "Of course not, they'll start to smell in a few days..."
Aiden_Gray: "...do you have any ideas?" weakly. he's been in a lot of plays and read a lot, so there's a lot of murder in them, like in Shakespeare's histories and his tragedies, but they never worry about how to get rid of bodies or anything.
Hikari` hmms some. "At home, the scavenger crows would pick a body clean within hours... I suppose that's not as great an option out here~" She hmms softly, those tails making a soft swishing noise. "...perhaps I should take over for your mother, hmm~?"
Brer_Lapine: Thinking back there was that one time where the theater teacher had you pair up with Olivia and then think of a way you would kill them. Oh man that was a good class period...
Aiden_Gray: "...if you could, that might be a good plan..."
Aiden_Gray: ...yes, that had been a very good class period. Olivia. D:<
Hikari` giggles at the 'if', robes whipping about some as she reshaped her illusion, appearing much like his mother. With tails. "Inhume the bodies so they don't attract scavengers, perhaps?"
Aiden_Gray: "Mm. But...where." ...that's very surreal. And....surreal. And maybe a little cause for inwardly twitching.
Hikari` gives that toothy grin, making her way over to the bodies and enwrapping each in a tail to carry them. "Where would noone look?"
Aiden_Gray: ...someone would probably look in the backyard, but there's an empty lot across the street. "...There's an empty lot across the street."
Hikari` nods, giving a soft laugh. "Lucky I'm here to help, now aren't you~"
Brer_Lapine: There had been developments going to happen across the road but then it was unearthed as a famous historical place of importance so no shovel or developer would ever touch it. Perfect for disposing of bodies...
Aiden_Gray: "Yes, ma'am..."
Hikari` seems pleased as she carries the bodies out of the house, Aiden feeling the sort of cold feeling he might have gotten once or twice before when trying to vie for Olivia's~ attentions and being utterly ignored. That feeling of being totally and completely ignorable by all the world. "Coming~?"
Aiden_Gray: "Yes, ma'am." it's a feeling he's well-used to, by now.
Brer_Lapine: The limo was going at quite a speed that many onlookers would suspect that it wasn't quite legal. If this was because the original driver had abandoned ship a few miles ago or the current driver wasn't nearly as skilled at the operation of speeding limos was a mystery. Thankfully it came to a sudden stop when it hit a young man crossing the street with his new occult guardian...
Brer_Lapine: "NUE HIT BOY! NUE AM WORSE DRIVER EVER." ;___;
Lydia`: o.o Lydia isn't exactly sure when Nue took over but she is suddenly filled with a terrible sense of dread.
Aiden_Gray: ...ow
Alejandro_Roa: ...Le sigh. "Nue, it's not your fault, you hardly have opposable thumbs." Time to roll down the window again. Did this one gib?
Brer_Lapine: Aiden the sudden impact of a limousine doesn't hurt nearly as much as you thought. It certainly doesn't hurt as much as getting hit by a certain someone in the past hurt. For some reason the entire experience has an odd dream like quality to it as you're thrown 20 feet away to the pavement.
Brer_Lapine: What the hell are Americans made of? Not a single one of them is splattering at all when hit with a car!
Aiden_Gray: ...that's very strange.
Hikari` flicks an ear at the oncoming limousine, eyes widening at the assault on her charge. Oh, the black beast was going to get it for trying to lay one rubbery treaded appendage upon him...
Brer_Lapine: "NUE AM FAILURE! NUE AM FAILURE! WHY MUST EVERYTHING NUE ATTEMPT END IN TINY PERSON DYING HORRIBLE DEATH!?"
Aiden_Gray slowly picks himself up, not quite sure if all his limbs are working. So...disassociated right now.
Brer_Lapine: Lydia, Nue looks so upset that he appears to be atomizing.
9:40 PM
Brer_Lapine: There is a fine powder of Nue all over the driver's seat now and a very annoyed woman with tails standing beside the road. At this rate you'd miss the recap sequence for Stark Track.
Lydia`: Lydia wonders if that's normal for his species. Also if they really did hit someone or if Nue's just being weird. She's definitely noticing a pattern of weird.
Hikari`: Swords appear to be raining down from the heavens and driving into the car's engine. The car, having no mind of its' own, is entirely nonplussed by the illusory assault. Hikari, for her part, has discarded the two human-like shapes and making her way to Aiden to make sure the dreamstate impact hadn't rattled him too badly.
Aiden_Gray: He's just...blinking kind of confusedly. "...shouldn't that have hurt more...?"
Aiden_Gray: :|
Lydia` peers out the little window between the driver's compartment and the back. o.o
Hikari` gives a nod. "Oh, if you and it were real at the time, it'd have utterly broken every bone in your body and left you a writhing lump. Thankfully, you weren't." She smiles that fanged smile as if that answers everything, giving a glare back at the limousine as the swords finally get bored of stabbing it fruitlessly. She scoops up Aiden and storms over towards the car, imperiously levelling a finger at it. "You could have inju
Hikari`: What have you to say for yourself?"
Brer_Lapine: Aiden if it makes you feel any better, there is most definitely an Aiden shaped imprint in the front of the car.
Alejandro_Roa: "Nue- Nu- Nue-" And then any attempts to calm his large friend down failed. Alejandro's just going to rub his temples for a second, before stepping out of the car. "Excuse me. Is everything okay?"
Alejandro_Roa: ...Where did the swords come from? "This was my second-favorite limo."
Lydia` is poking her head out of the door and doing what she does very well - not draw attention to herself.
Aiden_Gray: x_x "I'm sorry I was in your way. x_x" Hikari is going to be the death of him, probably, he can't keep up with her. So used to skulking around in corners when he wasn't performing or rehearsing trying to avoid his parents.
Hikari` looms over the tiny latino Wayne some. Well, wherever the swords came from, that's where they've gone off to in short order. "Then this thing is yours? I demand reparations for its' assault upon my ward. Such brutality is unacceptable!"
Aiden_Gray: "...ma'am, it's okay, really, I'm not dead or even hurt..." :|
Brer_Lapine: "NUE AM NOT BRUTAL!" The dust reforms into a '___' face.
Alejandro_Roa: Ah! Finally, someone who understands how the world works. "Very well. I can write a check, or I can have money when the bank open... Nue, it's okay, they just want money."
Brer_Lapine: "NUE NOT HAVE MONEY!"
Lydia`: Huh. More aliens. o.o Clearly this can only mean that it's almost time for humanity to join the Confederation of Planetary Unity! This might almost be worth having to watch tonight's episode of Star Track on tape for.
Aiden_Gray: "Um, really, there's no need, I was in your way..."
Alejandro_Roa: "Nue, I have money. And if we need more, I can get some from Papa. Please, calm down." He's going to look past Hikari at Lydia. "Are you alright?" Are all Americans just impact resistant?
Hikari` peers along the limousine to the NEEEERDy head peeking out of the door. "And you! You... you bother me, child." She pauses, looking to Alejandro. "Money? You think my noble ward can be bought off, his silence purchased for filthy lucre!?" That finger levelled at Alejandro. "No, what you must do is far more important... APOLOGIZE."
Aiden_Gray: "...:|"
Lydia`: D:
Alejandro_Roa: "...Hh."
Aiden_Gray: "That...isn't neccessary, ma'am...please don't..."
Brer_Lapine: "NUE SO SORRY." '___'
Aiden_Gray: ...and then realizes that she's carrying him. "Um....could you please put me down?"
Hikari` pauses a moment, before givign a soft laugh and setting him down, protective tails unwrapping from around him. "Ah, of course. Now, I'll be attending to our ~little matter~, you may forgive him when you feel he has offered enough." And with that and a grin she heads back into the vacant lot, scooping up those mannequins that totally can't be real bodies right.
Aiden_Gray just looks at Alejandro. "Um. I'm sorry...she's..."
Alejandro_Roa: "I.." Alejandro chooses his words very carefully. "Understand that there is a possibility of a situation arising in which a chaffeur in my employ might have accidently commited vehicular assault, perhaps due to his being a centuries old mythical creature from Japan, and the offer of a not insignificant cash sum might not be sufficient compensation. If, this were somehow the case, then I would be... required to..."
Alejandro_Roa: "...offermyapologiesforsuchaninconvenience." Cough. Ahem. The Roa family has an interesting notion of Nobillese Oblige. "Hypothetically speaking."
Hikari`: !roll_ore 4 ~Totally unimportant corpse interring, tra la la~
The_Lady: Hikari` invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 2, 4, 4, 8
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x4, 1x8, 1x2
Aiden_Gray: "...um. Thank you. You...really didn't need to apologize or anything, though..."
10:00 PM
Lydia`: !roll_ore 8 Lydia has eyes like a hawk! in case of UFOs o.o
The_Lady: Lydia` invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x1, 1x9, 1x8, 1x7, 1x5, 1x4, 1x3
Brer_Lapine: "NUE AM APOLOGIZING WITH TREMENDOUS HUGS." From the dust a very large tiger limbed beast leaps onto Aiden. "NOW NUE AM APOLOGIZING FOR VIOLATING PERSONAL SPACE."
Brer_Lapine: "...NUE REALIZE ONLY WAY APOLOGIZE IS HUGS."
Brer_Lapine: "NUE AM STUCK IN DEADLY CYCLE."
Alejandro_Roa: "I didn't. Such a situation was only described." Alejandro's going to reach out and pat Nue. "Put down your new friend, would you please?"
Brer_Lapine: Lydia those are totally awesome mannequins like the kind they use for mauve shirts in Star Track!
Aiden_Gray: Ack
Brer_Lapine: Nue puts down Aiden. "NUE REALIZES AT IMPASS."
Lydia`: Whoa! o.o Real special effects! The ones she used in her home movie fanfic were department store surplus.
Lydia`: ....can't miss this, SO AWESOME. Lydia scoots off to get a closer look!
Aiden_Gray: "...it's nice to meet you, Nue..."
Aiden_Gray: :|
Hikari` daintily scoops out steam shovel-sized masses of dirt and rock with her tail, lifting it like the proverbial rug to sweep dirt under, stashing the mannequin dressed like a man under that bit before moving off to repeat it with the womannequin
Alejandro_Roa: "As you can see, he was quite enthused to meet you. I am Alejandro Roa. What is your name?"
Aiden_Gray: "Aiden Gray."
Alejandro_Roa: "Ah. Well, anyways, it appears you are unharmed. I will have to ask Papa if this car came with some anti-manslaughter feature."
Aiden_Gray: "....maybe it did?" is...so beyond confused right now.
Hikari` finishes burying the womannequin who looks startlingly like herself except without the totally not worth noticing ears and tails, giving Lydia a predatory grin. "I see you admiring them. Aren't they magnificent?~"
Alejandro_Roa: "...Quite." Smalltalk. So annoyingly difficult with commoners.
Brer_Lapine: "NUE THINK EVERYONE GO GET COCOA."
Lydia`: "Where'd you get 'em? I looked all over but all I could find were some old broken department store ones so I had to do some rotoscoping and it took FOREVER and I think it looked terrible but it got a bunch of 5s and like ten thousand views so I guess it was okay but I still think it would have been better if I'd had real special effects mauveshirts."
Aiden_Gray: "I'll...um, get out of your way now..." and does so, getting out of the way.
Hikari` blinks, one ear folding back. She drifted back towards the limousine, giving Aiden another one of those protective reassuring smothering hugs from behind. "Cocoa does sound good, doesn't it? Especially now that the house is all clean~. I'm glad you've made some friends out of all this."
Brer_Lapine: "FRIENDS."
Hikari` doesn't sound that glad. She seems to be eyeing NUE some.
Lydia`: ...Lydia's used to being ignored. ._. hey wait what time was it "YOU GUYS STAR TRACK IS GONNA BE ON ANY MINUTE D: "
Brer_Lapine: HAL who appeared to have been displaced in space and time by the force of the impact is back and now standing beside Lydia.
Brer_Lapine: "NUE LIKE STARS."
Aiden_Gray: "...it is?" he has lines to memorize. and math homework to avoid. doesn't pay attention to that.
Lydia`: "I mean I have it set up to tape it like usual but but but the podcasting live shows! I have to be there to tell them their theories are wrong, otherwise they'll be wallowing in ignorance!"
Alejandro_Roa: "Well, I had promised Lydia a ride home. I suppose we should be going. Again, I am glad we were able to reconcile our differences over this situation. Nue, would you start the car?"
Brer_Lapine: "NUE AM STARTING THE CAR!"
Hikari` smiles. "Say goodbye, Aiden. It's only polite~"
Aiden_Gray: "...bye."
Brer_Lapine: The fanciful beast from the land of nippon started up the limousine which began with a terrible groan. "NUE AM THINKING CAR NEED DOCTOR."
Alejandro_Roa: "Nonsense, Nue. Put some muscle into it, and we'll be home by dark."
Brer_Lapine: The limousine splutters and starts it's journey to Lydia's house to rid themselves of Lydia and her creepy companion.
Brer_Lapine: Soon the car disappeared into the distance, leaving Aiden alone with his uh... Hikari.
Hikari` eventually lets him go once there's no snakebutted menace threatening to endlessly hug him.
Aiden_Gray: ...there is a lot of smothering in his future, isn't there.
Hikari` would never smother her ward! She'd just keep him safely protected from horrible alien lifeforms and snakebutted monstrosities and snooty kids and NEEEERDs....
Brer_Lapine: Hey hugs from your kind of legal guardian but for some reason infinitely more attractive figure then your last pair of those is way better then getting crushed by Nue.
Aiden_Gray: ...that's true. :|

PM narration stuff to Hikari that I'm far too lazy to actually fit into the proper areas of the log.

Brer_Lapine: The Gray's had obviously gone a bit too far. Obviously if they hadn't understood the mysterious apparitions in their nocturnal slumber and hadn't thought to consult someone a bit smarter about these thing then nothing more than a show of royal power was going to work. Really no court that actually mattered was going to accuse royalty of acting in stewardship.
Brer_Lapine: It is quite obvious that your charge is suffering from social anxiety, the poor winter-blooded darling obviously needs a lesson in proper courtly introductions.
'So you say your name is Ulysses,
that you're wandering around the world.
Tell me sir, have you ever been arrested before?'

This is the worst thing. -bassist159

Here there be dragons.
 
User avatar
The Purples
Essence 5
Essence 5
Topic Author
Posts: 527
Joined: 06 May 2006, 22:39
Title: Goddamn Purples
Exalt: Solar
Fighting Style: The Purple.
Artifact: 800080
Location: The Purple.
Contact:

Re: Tales of Eighth Grade Nothings (MAOCT)

09 Jan 2010, 18:35

Adventure #7, Session #1 - Kitties :D

Adventure Cast:
Morgan Lennox and Sauvage
Alex Merriweather
Victoria Manning

TL;DR- This session technically takes place simultaneously as the next adventure but I ran it afterwards. This entire adventure is an after school special about why you shouldn't take drugs or should take drugs because they will make your wildest dreams come true.

Brer_Lapine: Many consider Field Trip day to be one of the greatest days ever required by the East Dakota school board. A Clever and wise minority know that isn't actually the case, the anti-field trip day was in fact a much superior day as it lacked many of the terrible events associated with field trips.
Brer_Lapine: You all have your reasons for not going on the 8th grade field trip perhaps you were wise enough to read the permission slip and realize where the entire 8th grade class was going, perhaps you didn't want a certain parent volunteering for chaperone duty, or perhaps you realized that the school was your oyster with the entirety of the 8th grade class gone.
Brer_Lapine: There are of course still 7th graders but they are minor inconveniences compared to the grandiosity of being able to do whatever the heck you wanted in school all day!
Victoria: Victoria reads the fine print on everything.
Brer_Lapine: The remaining 8th graders have all been gathered in one classroom for the day but it's not like there is a teacher watching you since Mr. Pliskin is refusing to leave his room on account of sniper fire. Morgan, these other two kids aren't from Ms. Chambers homeroom so there is a good possibility they might be Robert's classmates.
Morgan_L hehs. Robert. She glances over to Alex and Morgan, stretching some. She was wearing ragged jeans and a black t-shirt. "Hey."
Victoria: "Hello." Victoria says cheerfully, not looking up from her book.
Alex_Meriweather: "Hi." Alex smiles.
Alex_Meriweather: "Stuck here too?"
Victoria: "I didn't really want to go."
Victoria: "So I lost my permission slip." Lost of course meaning "lost on purpose"
Morgan_L gives a nod, yawning. "Didn't want mom to volunteer for chaperone duty."
Alex_Meriweather: "Mm, yeah. I didn't want my stepdad to show up."
Alex_Meriweather: Alex is doing homework.
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage is of course hiding in the shadows and feeling quite bored without having a herd to try to pick the weak one out of. Decarabia has books to bind because children do not know the true ways of respecting a work of literature.
Brer_Lapine: Mr. Merriweather is... well the less thought about him the better as far as his relationship to school is concerned.
Victoria peeks at Alex's homework.
Alex_Meriweather: Alex is doing science. It's going kinda mediocre-to-good. He looks at Victoria.
Victoria: "Oh, just seeing what you were working on."
Alex_Meriweather: He smiles.
Victoria: She plops down in a seat nearby, with...another occult book or another.
Brer_Lapine: The great cat... er shadow rumbled in irritation at its companion.
Morgan_L hmms idly, standing up after a minute and making her way over to the shadowed corner of the room the light was terrified of entering. "This is a waste of time.. I'm gonna go walk around some. Coming?"
Alex_Meriweather: Alex looks up and blinks. Looks down to his paper. This isn't really even due until the end of the week. "Why not." He begins to put his stuff up.
Brer_Lapine: "Indeed this tiresome, if you were a cat things like this wouldn't happen."
Victoria: "Okay~" Victoria hops up, book under her arm.
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage knew for a fact that public education laws were completely different for felines.
Brer_Lapine: There is no one in the halls of Robert Harrison Blake Middle School, this is because the third and second floors of the building were primarily reserved for 8th grade core classes and the universal math classes but nobody took math during these periods.
Alex_Meriweather: "This place looks a lot bigger when it's empty."
Brer_Lapine: It was very big but when it had the entire population of a rural county in it, there was a surprising reduction in space.
Alex_Meriweather: "Where should we go?"
Morgan_L gives a slight shrug. "Wherever suits me. Better than sitting in that room staring at the walls..." She sets off in no particular direction, taking care not to make too much noise and alert any teachers.
Brer_Lapine: A great paw pushes her and the other two kids are treated to the majestic sight of a primordial super predator made mostly of fire and shadow. "I have an idea for what suits you, and I feel its superior to your wanderings."
Alex_Meriweather: Alex takes a step back.
Alex_Meriweather: "V-very impressive."
Morgan_L oofs lightly at the paw, giving a grin. "Oh? What do you have in mind, then, Sauvage?"
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage is being Sauvage, which means he has been surprisingly prissy lately even more so then is usual for the greatest hunter to ever grace Ascend. "Oh right the other two... Well I suppose I could eat you or you could follow along, what ever it was Morgan wanted me to do with the likes of you."
Brer_Lapine: The massive tiger grinned at his child. "You'll see when we get there."
Alex_Meriweather: Alex looks at Morgan.
Brer_Lapine: Alex in all honesty this is probably the biggest cat you have ever seen in your life and it certainly was the only burning one.
Brer_Lapine: Victoria this is the second burning cat you've ever seen.
Victoria: (what was the first?)
Morgan_L gives a grin, nodding some. "I'd rather they not be eaten. They actually listen to ideas rather than whine about how it's so weird."
Brer_Lapine: "...I do miss that Robert child."
Victoria: "Why would I think this was weird?"
Victoria: says the girl holding occult books.
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage made a noise of approval and moved at a very leisurely pace out of the school and quickly down the road. The one teacher that did notice the strange trio of school children and monstrous feline leaving the school simply averted his head and went to the office to get a refill on his full cup of coffee.
Morgan_L gives a slight shrug, keeping pace with Sauvage. "Wasn't so much concerned with you."
Victoria keeps up.
Brer_Lapine: Alex this seems to be a worrisome trend in your educational history, every day that seems to be worth remembering always seems to end with you leaving the school early.
Alex_Meriweather: Alex sighs, but follows.
Victoria: School is boring anyway.
Alex_Meriweather: At least he's keeping up with his work, for the most part.
Brer_Lapine: The journey takes a while but you keep up the pace with Sauvage's constant offers to chase you down if it will make you run a bit faster. Before you know it you aren't walking on the pavement of Ascend but are rather in the pastures moving towards the scubby pine barrens that pass for a forest in the Cleft Valley.
Alex_Meriweather: How picturesque.
Victoria: ....hmm. Peering around curiously.
Brer_Lapine: It is the 4th greatest reason people move to the region ranking behind tax evasion, acts of desperation, dead or dying family, and being unfortunate enough to be born there.
Morgan_L stretches, breathing the fresh air with neither cow pasture stink or car exhaust.
Brer_Lapine: The forest is rather peaceful, most of you have been hear for elementary school field trips, family picnics, or the occasional Karate Class training journey.
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage is still walking at a very brisk pace and the forest around him seems far darker then usual. This isn't exactly unique for Sauvage since most places he walks are darker then they would normally be but this seems like the primordial darkness of a deep forest untouched by mankind rather than the primordial darkness of an unconquerable predator king.
Alex_Meriweather: Alex has the opening lines of "Evangeline" running through his head, thanks to English class.
Victoria: Also different from a primordial darkness of a different sort.
Brer_Lapine: The hellish blackness of the abyss was quite different and currently it was binding a book on the beliefs of the ancient maya written sometime in the 1930s.
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage sniffed around and began to tear at a rotting log before sitting down to reveal a number of incredibly bright blue mushrooms, they almost seem to be glowing. "Alright now eat these."
Victoria examines one mushroom curiously. Trying to notice anything odd about them other than the fact that they were glowing.
Brer_Lapine: Now there are a few strange things in the world but being asked to eat a strange fungus by a large cat certainly did top some of them. Has he even ever eaten one?
Morgan_L eyes Sauvage. "This isn't going to be an object lesson about 'not eating things that glow', is it?"
Brer_Lapine: "That would be stupid, why would I march you all the way out here to make you eat this when I could have simply fed it to you back there?"
Victoria: (can I tell anything about them?)
Morgan_L hms, taking one and cautiously taking a bite from it.
Brer_Lapine: The mushrooms are blue, they have this delicate little membrane that disintegrates into bluish ooze on your fingers when you touch them. They don't seem particularly poisonous except for the obvious blue glowing part about it. On the plus side they aren't making you feel weird or itchy!
Victoria shrugs and takes a bite.
Brer_Lapine: The mushrooms taste like... eugh. That weird blue ooze that comes off on your hands when you touch them? It does that in your mouth as well.
Victoria: ...ew. D:
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage looks over at Alex and then down at the mushrooms. "Well?"
Morgan_L blehs some, forcing it down like any number of nasty-tasting medicines she'd had to take in the past.
Alex_Meriweather: Blink.
Alex_Meriweather: "I. Uh." He looks at Victoria, takes a breath, grabs one and takes a bite.
Brer_Lapine: "I wouldn't eat two though, I'm not sure what would happen though I assume it could only be worse than fatal." Sauvage is looking rather smug now that all the kids have eaten the strange fungus. "Though I'm rather amused you even ate one, eating something that grows on the ground is just so... herbivorous."
Alex_Meriweather: Cough.
Morgan_L gives Sauvage a narrow-eyed stare.
Brer_Lapine: "Now I must run along to see to some friends, come after when you're proper, child." Sauvage's speech seems slowed and slurred but perhaps it is your brain chemistry reacting to strange glowing blue mushrooms provided by a monster. You are quite positive he wouldn't do something to kill you but making the world spin around was still in his MO.
Morgan_L grumbles some, eyes closing. "I don't care what sifu says, I'm gonna give you such a kick to the ass when I feel right..."
Victoria: ...now this is weird.
\Morgan_L heard that once and her mom would totally scrub her mouth out with soap for saying it but it seemed right >.<
Victoria: Note to self, not eating any more of those mushrooms. D:
Brer_Lapine: It's later, all of you can assume it is later because the sun is lower and more than a couple of seconds have passed since you just ate mushrooms at the urging of Sauvage. The breeze is blowing and you can smell all sorts of flowers which is strange for winter but then again you just ate mushrooms so maybe they are the phantom kind.
Brer_Lapine: The forest seems bigger, in fact it seems downright huge now in comparison to your small fuzzy bo-... oh god fucking who the hell heard of a mushroom that turns you into a cat?
Brer_Lapine: (Apparently Sauvage.)
Morgan_L blinks. Huh. Well, guess he had to preserve the 'forest where humanity has never trod' somehow. "...cool."
Alex_Meriweather: o_o
Victoria: ...interesting. :o
Alex_Meriweather: Alex plops down onto the ground and covers his head in his ha- paw- ogod.
Brer_Lapine: You can all tell that you are not a person because there are three of you and it's pretty easy to compare notes on the other people who were instructed to eat mushrooms.
Morgan_L takes a look at her side, wondering what sort of color she was. Anyone else think she was taking this in stride way too easily? "So, I guess this is 'proper' enough?"
6:05 PM
Alex_Meriweather: "This is the exact *opposite* of proper. But... well."
Victoria: "Probably. By his standards."
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage has very lofty feline standards.
Alex_Meriweather: "...I can talk? I can still talk. Oh. That's... okay then."
Alex_Meriweather: "Do you know who- or what- his friends are?"
Morgan_L purrs in amusement, seeing what size she'd ended up as by comparison to the mushrooms. "Probably other big cats? Lesser ones, probably."
Victoria: "...no wonder we're kittens."
Brer_Lapine: About twice the size of the mushroom, you wouldn't be more than an armful if human you was here to hold kitten you.
Morgan_L huhs. "I'd have thought he'd make me at least a tiger kitten or somethin'..." She humpfs and looks around for his tracks.
Brer_Lapine: Finding his tracks isn't very hard, either because your new and improved KITTEN SENSES! or because Sauvage was being easy on you.
Brer_Lapine: They lead deeper into the woods and it was getting pretty late but then again there isn't much you can do because going home to your parents as cats probably wouldn't go over very well. Unless the fungus actually altered reality so you had always been a ca- No, now you were thinking like Lydia!
Morgan_L eerrghs, ears flat. NERD. >.<
Alex_Meriweather: Alex does not want to be a cat forever. Cats don't grow up to be productive members of society and they have to use the bathroom in sand. :<
Victoria: On one hand, there have been several great sorcerers in history who weren't human.
Morgan_L glances back to the others, leading on following the trail. "You two okay?"
Victoria: ....but Randy was a dog person.
Victoria: "Yes, I'm okay."
Brer_Lapine: Ace did love cats...
Alex_Meriweather: Alex leaps over a fallen branch.
Alex_Meriweather: "Oof. Yes. Mostly."
Morgan_L nods some, looking like she wasn't having any problems at all with it. This was actually pretty fun! She bounds along a bit, occasionally climbing up a tree a few feet to get a better view before dropping down.
Brer_Lapine: The forest certainly takes on another perspective when you are tiny and fuzzy. Also there were all sorts of tiny small things to practice pouncing and swatting on. If it wasn't for that tiny fact that you weren't born a cat, this would probably be pretty nice. Well except for Morgan who is enjoying the hell out of this experience.
Victoria: This is pretty cool. Besides, it's interesting to occasionally look at the world from a different point of view. :D Well, as long as this wasn't permanent.
Alex_Meriweather: Alex adjusts slowly, but this is really kind of neat and very pretty and possibly useful for that science project thing.
Brer_Lapine: There are more and more scents in the woods the farther in you go. People scents... er cat scents!
Brer_Lapine: Whatever your tiny minds are registering as familiar and theoretically safe. Also, a big one that smells like shadows and burning, which is most likely Sauvage since most cats do not smell like burning.
Victoria: ...following that, then.
Morgan_L picks up the pace, eager to give Sauvage a bite for not telling her. Whether it's for 'not telling her what they did' or 'not telling her about this sooner', she'd decide when she got there.
Brer_Lapine: Eventually you find the owners of those scents. Sitting in the trees, lounging on the grounds, or doing other kitty things that they are want to do. Every cat in Ascend must be here both domesticated and feral, hundreds of cats waiting and politely enjoying each other's company. In the middle there is a clearing where Sauvage is lounging and a number of other cats that look vaguely important by your cat standards.
Alex_Meriweather: "Wow."
Morgan_L bounds on over, doing her best to pounce Sauvage in spite of her ludicrously diminuitive size.
Victoria: That is a large number of cats.
Victoria: ...an organized society?
Brer_Lapine: Victoria you can recognize Gingerbread the poorly named Birman cat that the neighbor kids own. He is being attended by a number of other cats that obviously respect him far more than the neighbor kids do.
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage has never looked so proud and smug in his life. "I take it the way here wasn't to much of a challenge?"
Victoria: "Not really~"
Morgan_L headbutts the big lug's shoulder some from her perch on him. "Coulda followed it with my eyes closed."
Brer_Lapine: "Well then I suppose I will have to start trying."
Alex_Meriweather: Alex bounds forth as well.
Brer_Lapine: "Can you guess what today's lesson is supposed to be, Morgan?"
Morgan_L hms... "Proper conduct in feline society?" Her tail swishes about as she sits on Sauvage's back. "Unless it's a lesson for the other two in which case it's 'Sauvage is better than everyone else'?" cattongue sticks out.
Victoria: Sauvage is rather impressive, but he is not better than Decarabia.
Brer_Lapine: "Well all you children should learn that lesson but the first one is acceptable as well." A massive (well by cat standards) white and orange forest cat perched on a rock. Most of the cats stopped doing their own things to pay attention, which is pretty impressive for cats.
Morgan_L: Just because it's not necessarily true doesn't mean Sauvage won't try to teach it
Victoria: ...must be a very important cat.
Alex_Meriweather: Alex looks between the cats, trying to suss out exactly what cat social structure is based on, anyway.
Brer_Lapine: "The council has debated and argued, I come to announce they are coming before you fellow cats." There is a general murmur amongst the cats, apparently this was either not a common practice or perhaps the mentioned council wasn't supposed to be here.
Morgan_L perks an ear curiously.
Victoria: ...Hm. :o
Alex_Meriweather: He listens and hides slightly behind Sauvage, who is probably at least kind of safe as long as Morgan is around.
Brer_Lapine: A white angora who was most obviously suffering from some kind of worm or something bristled at the larger female cat (Well lets just say the first was a girl). "Who is the council to come together without consent, sister? Are we not cats!"
Brer_Lapine: "We are Whistle Fang but many do not have the luxury to take the seasons you would wish for us to debate their reconvening."
Brer_Lapine: Gingerbread hissed at the big cat. "We are not bound to any rules of council, a cat does as only they will."
Brer_Lapine: The large cat looked like she was going say something about it but quickly shut up as a group of black cats took the rock and she climbed down to rest near Sauvage. On closer inspection it's obvious that not all the cats are naturally black furred but some of them have dyed their pelts with some material or another.
Morgan_L nods, glanicng among the local cats, frowning some.
Alex_Meriweather: Interesting...
Victoria: ...dissent in the local society.
Morgan_L folds an ear down, climbing up to Sauvage's ear. "...what's the council arguing about?..."
Victoria: Interesting, that they've-she's assuming those are the council- all have black fur, whether natural or dyed...perhaps a mark of their status?
Brer_Lapine: "It is true that we do not bind you, oh ginger claws." Grumbled one of the black ones, it was pretty obvious that at some point he had been a long coated cat that wasn't black as some hairs still weren't the proper color.
Brer_Lapine: "Nor do we force you, Gingersnaps." Hissed another older black furred cat that probably was naturally that color.
Brer_Lapine: "We cannot imprison."
Brer_Lapine: "Nor lead."
Brer_Lapine: "Nor Govern."
Brer_Lapine: "By our own laws, we may not command another only ourselves."
Brer_Lapine: "As council we have decided."
Brer_Lapine: "But you assembled without our approval!" Mumbled the now obviously embarrassed Ginger Bread.
Brer_Lapine: "We convene as we must, Deedless One."
Brer_Lapine: "A cousin sits amongst you, do not shame yourself further."
Brer_Lapine: "We convene for our cousin."
Brer_Lapine: "He comes, which means the things crickets sing of in spring will come to pass."
Brer_Lapine: "Things we whisper to sleeping kittens in summer."
Brer_Lapine: "Stories the wind speaks of in fall."
Brer_Lapine: "Deeds we must always discuss in winter."
Alex_Meriweather is now called Greenling
Brer_Lapine: The white Angora from before seems to take personal offense at this long winded speech and practically goes for the closest black cat. "We do not bring councils out for sakes of Cousins!"
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage slowly got up and shook off his kitten passengers before moving over to the white cat. "Today we do and we will listen to it or I WILL eat you."
Morgan_L jumps off as he gets up, a bit too big for her to stay on like this anyway
Greenling: Alex skitters slightly to the left and determines that he will sit in a more dignified manner.
Victoria just sits curiously and watches alertly.
Victoria: ...maybe she'll get to light something on fire even if things keep going downhill.
Brer_Lapine: "Right..."
Brer_Lapine: "Yes..."
Brer_Lapine: "Er..."
Brer_Lapine: "Remember why I arranged this?" The large tiger looked at the black cats.
Brer_Lapine: "We are asking for leader, like dog did in the past." The collective cats do not seem to like this idea and there is various hisses at the mention of canines.
Brer_Lapine: "We don't need a leader! There are other worlds, no cat may command another cat that is what we decided!" The white angora is looking very angry before Sauvage simply non-fatally crushed him beneath a massive paw.
Brer_Lapine: "There is going to be a leader and as your most gracious guest and cousin I will be naming the challenge." Sauvage is looking very pleased with himself.
Morgan_L blinks, ears perking. She liked where this seemed to be going.
Greenling: Eartwitch. He brought us here to watch him take over the cat colony?
Brer_Lapine: "Cousin, you break our hospitality on me!" The white angora pleaded underneath Sauvage's paw.
Brer_Lapine: "...Who said I was here by your hospitality?" The tiger looked absolutely demonic as he smiled at the smaller and mangier cousin. "There is going to be a hunt, a most amazing hunt. A challenge that will truly prove you to be a cat. The one that catches the prey will be the victory. Also, those three kittens must compete. "
Greenling: ...Angerfluff.
Victoria: ...
Morgan_L purrs like an outboard motor.
Victoria: Well, there's the explanation. D: At least it'll be interesting. :D?
Greenling: Alex begins plotting vengeance.
Brer_Lapine: "As for the prey? I could have you come after my majesty but I am bound by my own word to never go easy on a hunter. I declare that the prey shall be... Basilisk."
Brer_Lapine: Completely Unimportant Cat #1: "Cousin we uh... we don't..."
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage: "What?"
Brer_Lapine: Completely Unimportant Cat #1: "Cousin there are no basilisk."
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage: "What?!"
Brer_Lapine: Completely Unimportant Cat #1: "All dead..."
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage: "Not a single one?"
Brer_Lapine: Completely Unimportant Cat #1: "None."
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage now looking very angry grumbled and looked at the white cat under his paw. "You are the prey, you should start running."
Brer_Lapine: The white cat gave a tiny kitty whimper and disappeared through the woods without a sound except for the clumps of hair she seemed to lose out of stress.


Adventure #7, Session #2 - Thrilling Cat Adventures

Adventure Cast:
Morgan Lennox and Sauvage
Alex Merriweather
Victoria Manning

TL;DR- There is a lot of rolling in this session, none of it will make any session because we used an OOC room and of course I don't log the OOC room. This is the reason all game logs shouldn't be written as narrative logs rather than just posting chat transcripts, but that takes effort.

Morgan_L: It's time for Thrilling Kitten Adventures with Morgan (and two NEEEERDS... well, okay, maybe not that nerdy.)
Brer_Lapine: The white cat called Whistle Fang had just been chosen for a most sacred of hunt to decide the leader of cats. This probably meant far more for the cats that had lived in the world of cats for their entire lives instead of the scant few hours the three children had been here.
Morgan_L is totally going to become the Queen of Cats. As meaningless as that may be. :3
Alex_Meriweather: Alex's fur is standing on end. That poor cat!
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage looked at the tree children turned felines. "Well you shouldn't just wait! Your competitors have already departed and it isn't like I'm going to help you."
Morgan_L would have departed the moment she saw the hunt was on, mind you.
Brer_Lapine: This sounds rather pressing and probably would ring a lot truer except for the fact that Victoria has decided to fall asleep. Which is actually rather cattish now that you think about it...
Morgan_L is not exactly lacking in impulsiveness.
Alex_Meriweather: Alex looks up at Sauvage. "You said this was a hunt. Is it to the death? That's kind of an important thing to make sure of."
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage does the best shrug he is capable of. "Just follow your instincts, child."
Brer_Lapine: Whistle Fang's trail is almost embarrassingly easy to follow through the underbrush. It seems he was far more interested in putting as much distance between the Ascend cat colony then he was of actually keeping his enemies from following him. Can you really blame the Angora, cats were not known for their kindness in politics.
Alex_Meriweather: "Mrr." Alex follows the great load of cats, plotting.
Alex_Meriweather: Where would a cat run to? ...What's in this direction?
Brer_Lapine: Geography and logic (which really wasn't having a very good day today) stated that eventually if you kept running in this direction that the forest would terminate and you'd be into the rich fertile soils of the Cleft Valley agricultural sector... and the interstate.
Brer_Lapine: But the first thing you notice is a stream, perhaps he was trying to get rid of his scent in the water?
Alex_Meriweather: Farms and... and that would be terrible. Hmm.
Alex_Meriweather: Alex is pretty sure that's foxes but maybe not? This is a new thing.
Brer_Lapine: [Alright so I basically made this a race for the truth thing. Everyone declare what they want to roll and why to chase down that dastardly Whistle Fang.]
Brer_Lapine: [P.E., Notice, Cat Eyes, etc]
Brer_Lapine: !roll_ore 5 Cat Rival A does something secretive
The_Lady: Brer_Lapine invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 2, 2, 4, 6, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x2, 1x6, 1x4, 1x10
Brer_Lapine: Both of you are in time to see the fleeting tail of that great big cat that originally announced the coming of the council when you first arrived at the colony. Apparently she was onto something as she crossed the stream and went streaking off into the woods on the other side.
Morgan_L is totally chasing him, bouncing off the heads of others. [P.#]
Morgan_L: !roll_ore 6
The_Lady: Morgan_L invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 1, 3, 5, 5, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x5, 2x1, 1x3, 1x10
Brer_Lapine: Morgan REALLY wants to beat these cats apparently.
Alex_Meriweather: !roll_ore 7
The_Lady: Alex_Meriweather invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 4, 5, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x5, 1x9, 1x8, 1x7, 1x4, 1x10
Brer_Lapine: Alex quickly breaks off from the main pack of cats scouring the woods with his own ideas where the desperate Whistle Fang is heading.
Brer_Lapine: Morgan quickly outpaces many of the other city cats who were used to simple pouncing rather than this tiring running ordeal. Before she knows it she is running as fast as that big cat from earlier who is looking quite surprised that a simple kitten is as fast as a country predator.
Brer_Lapine: Alex finds out quite quickly that if you follow the stream that it drains into a man made ditch. Morgan on the other hand is still thick in the woods and neck to neck with the older female who is looking less impressed by the second and more annoyed.
Brer_Lapine: !roll_ore 5 Cat Rival trying to lose Morgan.
The_Lady: Brer_Lapine invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 2, 3, 7, 7
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x7, 1x3, 1x2, 1x1
Morgan_L folds her ears back in irritation, changing tactics for a second and trying to swat the cat rival's hindlegs out from under her so she can take the lead! Victory of the Cheat!
Morgan_L might also be able to remember Sifu Robinson's awesome lessons on using a larger opponent's force against them and he totally threw that 6' tall guy to the ground in demonstration and it was AWESOME. [Relationship dice? :3]
Brer_Lapine: [Haha yeah that is fine]
Morgan_L: !roll_ore 8 Seinen hero methodology GO!
The_Lady: Morgan_L invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 3, 3, 4, 4, 6, 8, 10, 10
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x4, 2x3, 2x10, 1x8, 1x6
Alex_Meriweather: Alex sniff-sniff-sniffs around for the sign of Other Cats- and more importantly, a running angora should be leaving hair everywhere.
Morgan_L pounces on the head of the grimalkin outrunning her to make her faceplant while Morgan springs off her cat-apulting launch platform!
Brer_Lapine: You know if there was one thing more than being out paced by a kitten with less hunts under their tails then claws in their paws it was when a young kitten takes your legs out from under you! The elder cat lets out a very mean hiss as she comes to a rolling stop against a rotten stump.
Alex_Meriweather: !roll_ore 5
The_Lady: Alex_Meriweather invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 3, 4, 9, 9, 9
The_Lady: Possible sets: 3x9, 1x4, 1x3
Brer_Lapine: There is indeed a very shedded trail from a very stressed out cat. In fact following it eventually gets him into a plowed field where in the distance he can see the black tortoise shell rump of Morgan rocketing after a little white speck that is trying its best to get across the freeway before another cat catches it.
Morgan_L cannot stop here! She WILL catch that cat before it hits the freeway because mom would totally not be happy with her if she or any of her friends got smacked by a car while having monster-related hijnks because that would add five REAMS of paperwork [oh and they might get hurt]!
Alex_Meriweather: Alex dashes over to his plotted safe-looking spot and mrrows protectively at Whistle Fang, looking safe and adorable and like someone who is totally not going to hurt you but just wants you to take advantage of this wonderful and safe and completely not a trap ever hole.
Morgan_L: !roll_ore 9 Feet 4 PE 2 (really need to raise that) Mom +3 (Can't hit the freeway! If the cars don't kill me, mom definitely will!)
The_Lady: Morgan_L invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 2, 3, 5, 7, 7, 7, 9, 9, 9
The_Lady: Possible sets: 3x9, 3x7, 1x5, 1x3, 1x2
Brer_Lapine: Did I mention that Morgan REALLY wanted to be king?
Alex_Meriweather: !roll_ore 6 Alex has an adorable face? probably not three nines adorable...
The_Lady: Alex_Meriweather invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 7
The_Lady: Possible sets: 2x7, 1x5, 1x4, 1x3, 1x1
Brer_Lapine: Whistle Fang seems interested but there was a difference between interested and being able to avoid a speeding bulle- Kitten.
Alex_Meriweather: Wow. Morgan makes an impressive cat.
Morgan_L pounces Whistle Fang with all the force of a catgirl cosplayer glomping a real life bishi at a convention. Probably rolling the white cat into the ditch.
Brer_Lapine: Whistle Fang basically has a tiny cat heart attack when Morgan comes plowing into the cat and you finally discover where he gets his name lacking a front fang. The cat looks extra pathetic now covered in ditch muck and a large toad that had been trying its best rock impression simply stared at the pathetic Angora and felt particularly proud that amphibians practiced parliamentary anarchism.
Morgan_L jumps off the sinking S.S. Angora to the culvert Alex was hiding in and gives him a far less forceful pounce as well for good measure.
Brer_Lapine: Whistle Fang is trying to do his best tough guy impression but he looks up at the two kittens in the setting sun and just starts to blubber. "Oh you caught me don't bite my neck! I'll give you my name, I'll give you my name! Just don't kill me, my lives are all up and I'm not ready to make that walk yet!"
Alex_Meriweather: Alex undignified whuff! Roll! Ears back.
Alex_Meriweather: "Please don't hurt her?" he doesn't actually think Morgan will, but... she makes a *very* good cat.
Morgan_L blinks, peering down at Whistle Fang. "I am a merciful cat empress. You may live. Don't run into traffic, it's dangerous."
Brer_Lapine: "Y-yes! Of course, I would never... ohthankyouohthankyouohthankyou!"
Brer_Lapine: The very large form of Sauvage carefully plodded up and sat down behind Morgan. "Well I believe if I have said it once then I've said it one hundred times."
Morgan_L glances up, perking an ear.
Brer_Lapine: A number of black cats were along shortly as well to look at the miserable Whistle Fang, who hadn't moved from the ditch at all fearing that the tiny kitten captor might take it as a sign the hunt was still on.
Alex_Meriweather: Alex sits up and watches.
Brer_Lapine: "So one captured the whistle fang?"
Brer_Lapine: "Quite well."
Brer_Lapine: "But our fellow cat lives, we see."
Brer_Lapine: "A cat killing a cat would prove a terrible omen."
Brer_Lapine: "Dreadful."
Brer_Lapine: "Who has caught once proud hunter Whistle Fang?"
Brer_Lapine: "Who defeated the white streak?"
Morgan_L purrs and pounces down into the ditch near Whistle Fang, avoiding the muck water. "I did! Morgan, pupil of Sauvage!"
Brer_Lapine: "Pupil of our Cousin?"
Brer_Lapine: "How strange."
Brer_Lapine: "Curious."
Brer_Lapine: "Indeed, quite curious."
Brer_Lapine: "From what litter do you belong, kitten?"
Morgan_L hms, one ear folding back. "I, er, don't know what cat I might call mother." She glances aside. Technically true since her mom ISN'T a cat...
Alex_Meriweather: Curious eartwitch.
Brer_Lapine: "Litterless?"
Brer_Lapine: "Born to humans no doubt."
Brer_Lapine: "In the cardboard box."
Brer_Lapine: "Truly they waste the greatest mousers."
Brer_Lapine: "How sad."
Brer_Lapine: "We must struggle to find a parent's name then."
Brer_Lapine: "A leader can't be without a litter."
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage simply grumbled. "Yes fine with the lineages for the history books, don't we have more important business?"
Morgan_L gives a nod
Brer_Lapine: "Business?"
Brer_Lapine: "We believe he wants names."
Brer_Lapine: "Names for the young."
Brer_Lapine: "But without a litter."
Brer_Lapine: "Unorthodox."
Brer_Lapine: "A Cousin is not orthodox though..."
Brer_Lapine: "Quite."
Brer_Lapine: "Very well then."
Brer_Lapine: "Come forward kitten."
Brer_Lapine: "Kitten who took the face of your elders."
Brer_Lapine: "Who caught the white streak."
Brer_Lapine: "Who leads cats."
Brer_Lapine: "Kitten we name you, Shadow Swift."
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage seems to be rolling his eyes. "And the other one?"
Brer_Lapine: "Oh..."
Brer_Lapine: "Um..."
Brer_Lapine: "Kitten who uh..."
Brer_Lapine: "Well he spared me?" Whistle Fang added in gently.
Brer_Lapine: "Kitten of compassion."
Brer_Lapine: "Who lies not to prey."
Brer_Lapine: "We name you, Gentle Fang."
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage looked very bemused at this entire business though he always felt the literal names of house cats was just so charmingly rustic.
Morgan_L purrs happily. Eee.
Alex_Meriweather: Blink.
Alex_Meriweather: <_<
Alex_Meriweather: "Thank you."
Brer_Lapine: "You have defeated our Cousin's challenge and as such you must lead us now."
Brer_Lapine: "Our laws are yours."
Brer_Lapine: "Your laws are ours."
Brer_Lapine: "Rejoice for the stories we will tell of you."
Brer_Lapine: "May the dreams of 1000 cats spur you to greatness."
Brer_Lapine: The cat council all began to filter off they didn't seem much for ceremony and soon only one of the black cats remained along with Whistle Fang and Sauvage.
Morgan_L bubbles with joy.
Brer_Lapine: "This is Bernard. Seeing as how you are officially cats, he is going to teach you both the Law so you don't embarrass me in front of good society." The black cat was obviously not born black as there were still dull red clumps of fur on his stomach.
Brer_Lapine: "I will learn them well, Cousin."
Brer_Lapine: "I can only hope so Bernard. But with all that is said and done, I will have to return them to their humans now." The council cat puffed and began to wander off back to the forest.
Brer_Lapine: Whistle Fang began sneaking off herself when Sauvage got in the way of the cat. "I do believe you offered your name to them."
Brer_Lapine: "B-but they didn't accept."
Brer_Lapine: "Well I'm accepting on behalf of your juniors."
Brer_Lapine: "But I'm a country..."
Brer_Lapine: "You were hunted down by kittens, I think a city life befits you."
Brer_Lapine: "Well now, are we prepared to go home now?" Sauvage is looking very smug and Whistle Fang just looks resigned to whatever fate awaits her.
Morgan_L nods. "I think so."
Brer_Lapine: "Now how do I turn you back...?"
Alex_Meriweather: Ears back. "I wouldn't worry. If you can't figure it out, Victoria surely could."
Brer_Lapine: "Well I'm sure it will wear off sooner or later, good things always do."
Brer_Lapine: "...Then again if they don't, your mother does seem like a cat kind of person."
Brer_Lapine: "Or perhaps Robert, he seems like he could use something small that loves him unconditionally." Sauvage let out a cruel little chuckle and began plodding back to Ascend with Whistle Fang in tow.
Brer_Lapine: Of course Sauvage was right, good things do inevitably end and when they leave they tend to make you have a terrible dull buzz fill the empty places in your head. Not to mention your entire body feels like it has been compressed and decompressed and then you ran a scale mile a couple of times which probably is true.
Alex_Meriweather: "Nng."
Brer_Lapine: "Well oh mighty Queen, what do you suppose the lesson to all this was?" Sauvage may have been speaking quietly but his voice felt like someone was ringing a gong next to your head.
Morgan_L hms softly, tail swishing about. "....no idea."
Brer_Lapine: "Hmm well neither do I. Lets just feel proud that you proved that you really are a cat on the inside if you are somewhat lacking on the outside. Other ones you also impressed me, perhaps I will even have to remember you names."
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage is not great with moral lessons.
Brer_Lapine: By the time you reach school the sun has most definitely set and there are only two cars waiting. One is the beat up pick-up truck that belonged to Colleen and the other was a van that belonged to... ohgoditisyourdad. On the bright side, at least you are definitely human now.
Brer_Lapine: ...Pseudo bright side?
Brer_Lapine: Okay not really much of a bright side for Morgan.
Alex_Meriweather: Sigh.
Brer_Lapine: Sauvage does his normal disappearing act before Colleen can see him but the shadow of the truck is looking darker and more threatening than usual. Whistle Fang is being as cute as a full grown feral cat can be.
Brer_Lapine: "Son, your extra-credentials have kept you very long today!" Mr. Merriweather is looking very perky as usual.
Morgan_L runs up to hug her mother, blushing. "Uh, s-sorry. I didn't think I'd be out so late. I was off with some friends..."
Alex_Meriweather: "Nng."
Alex_Meriweather: "...I think I made a new friend? Lots of new friends."
Brer_Lapine: "It is alright, as I have already explained to your mother that you were off with young Alex for... FRENCH CLUB."
Alex_Meriweather: <_<
Brer_Lapine: He gave a very large and theatrical wink to Alex.
Morgan_L blinks. "...what?"
Alex_Meriweather: Alex shrugs to Morgan. "I know, I wanted Japanese myself."
Brer_Lapine: Colleen just smiles, she doesn't look like she believes Alex's step dad but she was really smart as far as moms went. "I didn't know you were so interested in foreign languages, Morgan. Or that french club had cats..."
Morgan_L looks somewhat confused.
Brer_Lapine: Whistle Fang tries to look innocent and fails miserably.
Brer_Lapine: "Ah you see that is the school pe-!" Mr. Merriweather does a face plant on a small shadowy pebble or maybe a pebbly shadow.
Morgan_L ahs, laughing. "No, this little naughty thing is why we were late." She pats the slightly mucked up Whistle Fang. "Crazy thing almost ran into traffic."
Brer_Lapine: "Uh-huh and you brought it back with you because?"
Alex_Meriweather: "Morgan ran all the way across a field to save her. She's fast."
Morgan_L shakes her head. "She just followed me." She glances aside.
Brer_Lapine: "That is it and you won't mind at all if we just leave her here then?"
Morgan_L glances aside. "Um, I guess not. It's not like she knows we live on James street..."
Alex_Meriweather: "Poor old toothless kitty, out here in the wilds all alone..."
Brer_Lapine: "They often do not survive long without the charity of another person, it is tragic that your mother is allergic to cat hair." Colleen just gives Mr. Merriweather a betrayed look.
Morgan_L totally isn't planning on putting out leftovers nightly for Whisper Fang, oh no.
Brer_Lapine: "Look if the cat gets in my car then you have to clean the entire car and you have to take it to the vet." She crosses her arms and gives her best tough-mom look.
Brer_Lapine: "...And your room."
Morgan_L grins and takes off her jacket, wrapping up Whisper Fang in the outside to keep her from mucking up the car's inside. "S-sure! I can do that!"
Alex_Meriweather: Alex smiles innocently at the kitty.
Brer_Lapine: Whisper Fang just gives an unsure look at Alex but seems to be taking this entire thing well enough. "Well it isn't like I didn't do the same thing to your grandfather."
Brer_Lapine: "What a happy ending for a sweet little kitten!" Mr. Meriweather patted his son on the back. "You have helped perform such a good deed that I believe we should have Soy Ice Cream today, son!"
Alex_Meriweather: Alex rubs the back of his head. "Ice cream's nice..."
Brer_Lapine: Colleen having enough of this weirdness simply gets into the truck and waits for her daughter to be ready to leave.
Alex_Meriweather: "I guess it's too late to call Hitoshi and see if he wants to come over and study, huh."
Morgan_L smiles to Alex some. "Had fun. See you around, Alex?" She walks up as if to hug him... before giving him a playful light punch to the arm, since the other arm was holding Whisper Fang. She heads to the car.
Alex_Meriweather: Alex grins and winces slightly. "Totally."
Alex_Meriweather: Yay, I did make a new friend!
Brer_Lapine: And so ends a rather peculiar day on the sleepy town of Ascend.
'So you say your name is Ulysses,
that you're wandering around the world.
Tell me sir, have you ever been arrested before?'

This is the worst thing. -bassist159

Here there be dragons.
 
User avatar
The Purples
Essence 5
Essence 5
Topic Author
Posts: 527
Joined: 06 May 2006, 22:39
Title: Goddamn Purples
Exalt: Solar
Fighting Style: The Purple.
Artifact: 800080
Location: The Purple.
Contact:

Re: Tales of Eighth Grade Nothings (MAOCT)

30 Jan 2010, 00:04

The thought that people are actually using this game to organize and play in active games disgusts me, so I decided to post some more logs instead.

Adventure #8, Session #1 - Field Trips and Other School Administration Hated Things

Adventure Cast:
Miranda Ashbarrow and Loki
Lita Edwards and Ormagoden
Lydia Lynch and HAL
Alejandro Roa and Nue
Aiden Gray and Hikari
Robert Wakefield and the United Hob Clans of Nimerigar Plaza
Beatrice Gottlieb and Forneus

TL;DR- If I pretend like I haven't infringed copyright that means I haven't right? Holy moly, this was a lot of players and that was not my intention, stupid players actually thinking I want them to play in my game or something like that. File under: Field trips, bad ideas, and cinematic sequences.

Brer_Lapine: Today is one of the best kinds of school days in the year. As far as quality of this day goes it ranks behind school approved holiday, sick days, excused absences, doctor visits, half days, family mourning days, occult emergency days, and any world shattering event that would imply an immediate end to American society and school days as we know it. IT IS FIELD TRIP DAY!
Lydia: YAY!
Brer_Lapine: The 8th grade field trip is the best event because nothing is better than technically being in school but not required to go to it. It is even better because 7th graders do not go on it and seeing as how you are superior 8th graders, it is completely awesome to rub it in their faces.
Robert_W: Awesome!
Brer_Lapine: For those lucky students who have been randomly selected to be in Ms. Chambers homeroom this is awesome because you get to spend all day with your totally awesome homeroom teacher. If you are from Mr. Pliskin's class you have the unfortunate trouble of being split up from your friends and sent to another random group because Mr. Pliskin refused to leave his room after returning fire on a sniper last night.
Miranda hms. Today was field trip day, huh. Going on a field trip could be nice.
Lita is already on the bus, having claimed a back seat. She has her hoodie on, hood up, earbuds in, the eCube she bought with her Christmas money cunningly hidden in the front pocket.
Aiden_Gray is sitting near Lita, with a script in his lap.
Brer_Lapine: But where are you going on this most joyous of field trips? You have heard rumors of the grand places previous classes have gone to for their december trip, such as the Natural History Museum (Now burnt to the ground), the Christian Science Museum (currently closed for fire repairs), the Ascend County auditorium (I already ran an adventure there >:|), and even... the City!
Robert_W: Huh. Another of those nerds from Mr. Pliskin's class. Ah, well. He'd hope that this won't hold back his joy at visiting...
Robert_W: Hey, where ARE we visiting anyway?
Brer_Lapine: Well glad you asked! You're going to the Cleft Valley Museum of Dakotan History!
Lydia is trying her level best to be invisible while (re)reading a heavily dog-eared book about string theory. It's the only book in her space-opium-less Emergency Boredom Kit today, because it's Field Trip Day~
Miranda hms, frowning. Was there much else in town?... She sighed and adjusted her backpack, including the cute little stuffed cat doll thing inside.
Brer_Lapine: Located right in the scenic Cleft Valley Mountains where Jeremiah Johnsire first mysteriously ascended into the heavens.
Robert_W: Ugh. Boring history museum.
Robert_W: Maybe he SHOULD have gone through with that plan to fake sick.
Brer_Lapine: The Hobs wouldn't allow it! For them the act of traveling back to the cliffs would be like returning to their homelands and gloating all about how much better they have it then their primitive cousins.
Lita: Wait? Dakota has history?
Brer_Lapine: Dakota has history!
Lydia: According to the book Lydia's reading it actually has many histories because of the way 11-dimensional membranes work. >_>
Lita: I think you're lying, narrator-chan.
Aiden_Gray: It could always be worse. Maybe.
Aiden_Gray: And inside the backpack, the cat doll peeks out. Or tries to.
Miranda always does her best to ensure the doll has peeking holes, the backpack looking a little ragged as a result... she didn't want anyone picking on her for having the doll at school, after all
Aiden_Gray: Heh heh heh. This trip won't be boring for long, if he has anything to say about it.
Brer_Lapine: HAL had simply stopped existing today but it's probably temporary and someone was probably going to do something to insure it's existence sooner or later.
Lydia: Stupid nonlinear time.
Robert_W isn't really interested in the history of this stupid place. It'll be boring and full of nerds and alternate dimensions.
Robert_W: At least the hobs are happy with lording it over their cousins, though.
Miranda: Hikari didn't bother being in the classroom at the moment - too boring most days, and Aiden might have objected to drawing the eyes of everyone in the room.
Aiden_Gray: Yes. Yes, he would have.
Aiden_Gray: well, less objected and more quietly wilted.
Brer_Lapine: Of course the complete non-existence of HAL has lead to an unfortunate empty seat next to her and who should sit there but the dreaded... Ford Lightning.
Lydia: OHGOD Idon'texistIdon'texistIdon'texist.....
Brer_Lapine: Ford was a mystery wrapped up inside an enigma that had been tied with conundrums forged from pure riddle. They had then put this terrible uncertainty inside the body of the greatest mulletted terror to ever torment Robert Harrison Blake Middle School since Alexine 'The Terror' Champline. He was 14, smelt like burnt copper, and had perfected the art of the swirly.
Lydia: At least the bus doesn't have a toilet. ;_;
Robert_W: A hero for the new generation.
Brer_Lapine: He was like the Che Guevara of East Dakota, all rebel and visionary but with worse teeth and going through puberty.
Brer_Lapine: "Hey Lydiot, whatcha reading?"
Brer_Lapine: [Mega sick ultraburn]
Lydia: "Uh-uhm... The Totally Awesome Universe? I-it's about how subatomic particles are really these tiny v-vibrating strings a-and how there's an extra s-six dimensions folded into the other th-three...."
Brer_Lapine: "..."
Robert_W: "No such thing as 6 dimensions, stupid. >:" Ah, the realities of daily 8th grade life can be cruel.
Lydia: "Nuh-uh, there's some math in chapter ten about how dimensional membranes account for the perception of three-dimensional space time..."
Lita looks up and notices Ford sitting next to that nerdy girl from her home room. Uh oh.
Brer_Lapine: There might be a small amount of smoke coming out of Ford's ears but before this can be commented on the elderly Ms. Chambers is clapping for everyone's attention."Kids, I'd like to introduce two transfer students that will be joining us on this trip."
Robert_W: "You read that far into the book? Man, you really ARE a nerd."
Brer_Lapine: [Ultra Rad Burnoclasm!]
Lydia: "But that's where all the math is...."
Brer_Lapine: Two grown adults standing at the front of the bus, both of them are wearing school uniforms that most of you had long ago ditched for regular clothes since nobody seemed to care about it. Both of them are wearing sunglasses...
Brer_Lapine: "I am Amelia Gray."
Brer_Lapine: "I am Liam Brown." 
Brer_Lapine: "We are both students."
Lydia: o_o
Lita elbows Aiden lightly, and whispers "What's up with Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber?" she still has her headphones on, and didn't hear a word of it.
Brer_Lapine: Liam looks like the kind of man that would kill a president from a grassy knoll. Amelia kind of looks like a sexy librarian...
Aiden_Gray: "Um, they're...supposed to be students"
Lita: "They look like hitmen"
Robert_W: Great, these kids are weirder than normal.
Robert_W: "Aren't hitmen supposed to have some sort of accent or something?"
Lydia wonders if this is the opposite of that episode where the transportalator turned Captain English into a 12 year old. o.o
Beatrice: There is a little blonde girl perched on one of the seats of the bus like a large frilly parrot with a german accent.
Brer_Lapine: "Also we've had to call a parent to assist us on the trip since there are just so many students and Mr. Pliskin pepper sprayed the TA to try to open his door. So I'd like to introduce you to our parent chaperone, Mr. Wakefield."
Brer_Lapine: OhgodRobert! IT IS THE APOCALYPSE, IT HAS FINALLY COME!
Robert_W: .... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!
Robert_W: Do not mind Robert as he suddenly tries to do his impression of an ostrich.
Robert_W: Parents are always so embarassing. They make lame jokes and accidentally trip over people's monsters. VERY annoying.
Brer_Lapine: The man who enters the bus isn't wearing shoes despite the fact you have had snow come and melt all week. He wears thick coke-bottle glasses that reflect the light in an ominous fashion. "Thank you Ms. Chambers but I only go by... PAULO~!"
Brer_Lapine: "Mr. Wakefield is a very important artist children, he is going be taking this opportunity to uh..."
Brer_Lapine: "Capture the great void of youth!"
Beatrice: Sometimes Father locked stableboys in the pantry. It made meal preparation rather awkward.
Miranda blinks some, glancing over to the two adults, head tilting to one side. "......." she frowns some.
Beatrice: "Oh, well said, sir."
Robert_W: ... SO hiding.
Brer_Lapine: This man gave off a palpable aura of artist.
Lita: "He doesn't seem like a teacher," says the intentionally deaf girl.
Aiden_Gray: "He's a parent chaperone..."
Robert_W: Friends of his father wonder why they can rarely find Robert in pictures. "Why'd ya decide to come, dad?" Despair and whispering don't quite work so well together.
Aiden_Gray: Loki, in the meantime, is watching. Heh...this could be entertaining.
Lita: "A patent rigatone?"
Aiden_Gray: "Chaperone."
Lita: "Champagne?"
Beatrice: "Are you hear perhaps to teach us of socialism, like the gentlemen from my home town?"
Aiden_Gray just gives up and writes it down for her.
Beatrice: "They looked rather like you."
Lita: "Ahhh...why didn't you say so?"
Brer_Lapine: Paulo does not talk he simply takes his seat by his son. If someone was sitting in it they now have an ARTEEST sitting on their lap.
Aiden_Gray gestures to the headphones in her ears.
Miranda: Hikari takes the opportunity to walk in wearing a rather flimsy (to those with monsters) disguise. "Hello, hello, I am a, er, last-minute addition to the chaperones, because we have such a large group! I am, ah, Ms. Gray, you can call me Hikari or My Lady. I hope we'll all have great fun on this trip." She gives that 'hello, my little darling' wave every child with a parent knows and dreads to Aiden.
Robert_W: .... ;_;
Aiden_Gray just slides down in his seat.
Robert_W: Aiden has shared Robert's pain, and now the healing can begin. Or the embarassment.
Lita: "Wow, your mom's really pretty, Aiden" she says as she takes off her headphones.
Aiden_Gray: "...um...yeah..."
Lita: "Oh, wait. Not your mom,"
Miranda blinks and shakes her head. "....." She gives the doll a knowing look. She knew he was plotting something (he always was ).
Lita: "That or the fox tail is non-inheritable"
Brer_Lapine: Bastard Pete would make a rude comment but the hobs weren't allowed on the bus and were currently taking their collective revenge by finding places to sit on the axels of the bus and loosening various screws to make annoying little squeaking sounds when the vehicle was in motion.
Lita uses the joke as an excuse to get a look at Aiden's butt.
Robert_W: "Daaaaad!" >.<
Brer_Lapine: "Son, do not support the patriarchy, call me PAULO like an equal!"
Aiden_Gray: Nope, no fox tail.
Aiden_Gray: The doll just stares back.
Aiden_Gray: That innocent look on his face?
Brer_Lapine: Ford Lightning has gone back to picking on Lydia which mostly consists of taking things from her emergency boredom kit.
Aiden_Gray: Only there because it was stitched
Miranda: Lies. Lies, deception, trickery, and possibly thread and buttons
Robert_W: "Okay... um... Paulo..."
Lydia: "H...hey! Those are my flashcards! You're gonna get them out of order!"
Lita sighs and leans over to Ford, hoping to run interference and maybe help him give up his bullying ways "Hey, Ford. I got that thing you wanted"
Brer_Lapine: "Psssh what do you have on these Lydiot, let me guess something dumb."
Lydia: (the cards read 3 1 4 1 5 9 2 6 5 3 5... etc. One numeral per card.)
Miranda coughs in an attention-gathering manner, staring at Ford "...be nice." She murmurs.
Robert_W: 'I thought you were supposed to be doing some project?"
Brer_Lapine: "Your mother locked me out of the apartment when I decided it needed more... FIRE!"
Robert_W: "So you came here? ._."
Beatrice: "That sounds invigorating."
Miranda: Sensing praise, Hikari bou nces her way over to her seat which coincidentally happens to be next to Aiden and near Lita and wait why are there three seats in that row only but it doesn't block the aisle and oh god that's a brainhurt.
Brer_Lapine: He kicked his feet up and put them on the seat in front of them. "Of course, I thought I could enrich your otherwise meaningless academic careers."
Aiden_Gray: ...how can all three of them fit into one seat?
Aiden_Gray: ....nevermind he doesn't want to know
Brer_Lapine: Ford Lightning raised in his seat and pivoted around to face Miranda. It was like being eye to eye with a tank. "What are you going to do about it?"
Robert_W: How can he manage to be so CHEERY about all this? I mean, its a LIFE he's ruining.
Robert_W: Well, a social life.
Lydia really doesn't wanna play Pi Pickup on the bus, she might lose a card and anyway it'll wreck her time attack score. ;_;
Lita: "Hey! Ford! Do you want to waste your time squaring off with a girl or do you want me to give you this CD I burned for you last night?"
Beatrice: "What is squaring off?"
Lita: "I mean, if you want to get into a cat fight, I could always get rid of the CD and buy you a dress instead"
Miranda narrows her eyes, staring at him. "...pathetic, aren't you. Picking on easy targets. That make you feel big inside?"
Aiden_Gray: Oh, this is rich. Loki is just watching, waiting for an opportunity to poke at the situation more.
Robert_W: "Couldn't you have enriched... oh, I dunno. That musem you were talking about a couple of days ago?"
Beatrice: "Is it a cultural dance?"
Brer_Lapine: "Yeah, it does." He sneered at her before getting up to move closer to Lita and her delicious promises of METAL.
Miranda hmpfs and takes the seat he was occupying next to Lydia, giving her a smile.
Brer_Lapine: The bus lurches to a start quite literally as a couple of hobs have taken the momentary lag in departure to loosen all of the real seats so they slide with every moment of the vehicle.
Lita pulls the CD out of her hoodie, it's even got a nice set of liner notes written with small words so it's easy for him to follow.
Beatrice: Weee, that's fun!
Robert_W: Woah! That's actually kinda cool....
Lydia: "Th-thanks. o.o" Lydia is absentmindedly going through her pi deck to make sure it's all in order. "Three point one four one five nine two six five three five eight nine seven nine three..."
Lydia: "Whew. All there. -.- " She puts a rubber band around the deck and sticks it back in her pack.
Brer_Lapine: The bus would scream out that it's a screaming metal death trap but that would be redundant and most the important people in this vehicle had shown a remarkable immunity to most types of damage that weren't a direct result of a monster or being called a NERD.
Miranda smiles. "Good." She smooths out her skirt and sits back as the bus lurches around, setting her backpack near the aisle so Loki can peek out. Better than him crawling out and around and scaring people.
Aiden_Gray: ...so, are the holes in the backpack big enough to crawl out of? Let's try it.
Lydia: "Ugh... I don't think I can concentrate on string theory after all that. x_x "
Lita gets kinda used to the sliding back and forth.
Lita: "It's like being on a boat"
Brer_Lapine: The bus driver who you couldn't see the face of but the license had their last name as MAPELTHORPE took a slow left and the bus groaned in protest.
Aiden_Gray: Aiden tries to brace himself with one hand, trying not to slide into either Lita or Hikari.
Miranda: Hikari lurches about disturbingly little as she smiles to Lita. "I'm glad to see people getting along with Aiden. Maybe you'll come over for lunch sometime, miss....?"
Aiden_Gray: Loki crawls out of the backpack and onto the seat. so there is now a little white cat doll sitting on the seat.
Lita: "Lita, ma'am. Lita Edwards. And, uh, I'd love to come to Aiden's..that is, your house...for lunch some time"
Robert_W: "Kinda fun ride."
Lita thinks its best not to talk to her like a monster when there are straights around.
Robert_W is in the mean time sliding around next to his father. He didn't show up for the Family Fun Festival of Bees, why would he show up now? ._.
Aiden_Gray: Now, who would be most entertaining to annoy... :3
Miranda glances down to the little catwolfthing doll with a slight frown, glancing back to the bully. Well, maybe if it was done -constructively-...
Robert_W: I mean, fun. Festival. Bees! What's not to like?
Brer_Lapine: Paulo is simply staring forward in a true artist's trance. He got this way sometimes and it always ended in an article about him on the internet.
Robert_W: Maybe if Robert thinks "I'm not related to him" enough times he'll vanish in a puff of logic...
Robert_W: Sadly, it doesn't seem to be working.
Miranda: Hikari has something great to offer on the idea of parent removal. Ask Aiden.
Aiden_Gray: And now there is a little cat doll crawling up the seat. or...sideways.
Brer_Lapine: If anything he seems to becoming realer and more intense. Maybe he is FEEDING off of those feelings, Robert?
Aiden_Gray: Aiden tries to focus on his play script.
Lydia: Cat doll. o.o "Is... is that yours?" >.>
Brer_Lapine: The breaks make a terrible screech as the bus starts slowly going up an incline, every single seat in the bus falls back with a THUNK. The sudden shift in gravity is enough to send the soft cat doll flying from the seat into something soft.
Brer_Lapine: Like a lap or something like that.
Miranda shakes her head some.. "Er, sort of..."
The_Lady has joined the channel
The_Lady: The Lady's shadow falls upon the room
Aiden_Gray: !roll 1d5
The_Lady: Aiden_Gray invokes the Lady...
The_Lady: 5
The_Lady: Rolled 5 on 1d5
Miranda: Hikari peers down at the catdollthing sticking out of the front of her kimono-thinly-disguised-as-a-blouse. "Children, I know it's a long trip, but that's no excuse for throwing toys around."
Brer_Lapine: Loki, you haven't been this comfortable since you 'accidently' fell into Sif during the great feast of midwinter.
Aiden_Gray: That had been an accident well worth having.
Aiden_Gray: Even having to run from Thor afterwards had been worth it.
Miranda flinches a bit as Loki goes sailing in a perfect arc, and at that voice. Oh, god...
Beatrice is drawing! May not be best to ask what.
Robert_W: This is gonna be SUCH a long and horrible trip. ._.
Aiden_Gray: And he's totally not moving.
Lydia peeks over the seat. o.o Oh. Oh wow.
Lita notices Lydia peeking at "Mrs. Grey's" cleavage.
Brer_Lapine: Forneus doesn't have to put up with these childish antics! He is having a very animated conversation with Mr. Brown who doesn't seem to appreciate his advances.
Lita arches ab eyebrow.
Miranda: Hikari hmpfs and adjusts the doll's position. "I'm going to be keeping this until whoever threw it apologizes." She sits back in her chair that isn't really there.
Lydia hides! Ohgodshesawmeshe'sgonnasicFordonme ;_;
Beatrice: Forneus, pay attention to me :<
Lita: "Don't worry, I don't bite."
Beatrice: Or I'll stab someone.
Brer_Lapine: >Your blood pressure has risen.
Lita offers Lydia her hand.
Aiden_Gray: "That might be a very long time~" now let's see what Miranda does, in this situation, hm. He could totally sit there for a while.
Lydia cautiously extends hers, inwardly prepared for the ignominy that is the Indian Burn.
Beatrice: Well, if Forneus isn't going to entertain her. She's just crawling onto somone else's seat. Let's see, who smells good?
Miranda winces some and glances over at Lydia, peering back briefly and acking at the position Loki had taken. Oh, darn it, why >.<
Lita shakes Lydia's hand "Nice to meet you, I'm Lita"
Aiden_Gray: Aiden is...totally not getting into this.
Aiden_Gray: Why does Hikari have a cat doll...nevermind. just. not.
Miranda: Hikari is quite enjoying the attention her new adornment is acquiring for her.
Lydia: "L-Lydia. o.o" Something is weird, she's not being made to suffer. This is abnormal. o.o
Brer_Lapine: Beatrice: As far as children are concerned, Robert does not smell horrible and he is not giving attention to other people so he can give it to you!
Lita: "I like that name. Is it Welsh?"
Beatrice: Craaaawl, hiiiii. "Hello?"
Lydia: "Eternal Voyage 3, I think..."
Lydia: (Lydia asked mom once. Once.)
Lita: "Eternal what?"
Aiden_Gray: "...are you really going to keep that doll..." Aiden asks Hikari weakly.
Lydia: (Lydia has resolved that if she ever clones herself she's going to name her daughter something from a game people have actually heard of. Like Terminal Delusion 6. That's everyone's favorite.)
Lita: "Is that like that video game where kids summon demons with Japanese barbie dolls that have special chips implanted in them?"
Miranda: Hikari laughs in a manner Lydia might recognize from one of those anime. "Until its' owner comes to pick it up, I do believe I will."
Lydia: "Y-yeah. Mom used to get them from Japan before they got imported here. >_> "
Brer_Lapine: The internet was the Devil's work and Helena White would allow no such thing to enter her house with it's boundless smut and childish posturing over make believe games!
Lita: "Cool. Your mom speaks Japanese?"
Robert_W: "Um... Hi."
Beatrice: "Hello."
Brer_Lapine: "Son, do you have a lady?" Paulo looks rather impressed. "Is this what you have been sneaking around to bee festivals about?"
Aiden_Gray: "...but..." Aiden protests, barely. "...nevermind"
Robert_W: "... um... " And about now he wishes he was a turtle...
Lita: "Cause I've got these CDs from this Japanese guy who claims he's a demon sent to conquer the world with the power of Metal, and I'd really like to translate them so I can figure out if he's telling the truth or if he's just a big liar like the last guy,"
Lydia: "Yeah, I mean... doesn't everyone? I mean I'm not fluent or anything but I'm still learning, it's just mom has lots of tapes with bad quality so you can't really read the subtitles and so you kind of have to know some to figure out what's going on except for Drake Sphere because it's really kind of obvious most of the time. >_> "
Beatrice: "Good heavens, no. My lady is Forneus."
Lita is still disappointed about that last guy.
Miranda: Hikari grins down at Loki. "Besides, it's pretty cute, don't you think? ...for a world-ending calamity."
Lita: "You honestly think that everyone speaks Japanese?"
Lydia: "Well yeah, except for those people mom is always yelling at over the internet for watching dubs."
Lita: "That's /adorable/" she smiles and digs around in the front pouch of her hoodie for that emergency stash of ginger snaps, pop rocks and mt. dew and offers Lydia some of the cookies.
Aiden_Gray: "It's...a world-ending calamity?"
Aiden_Gray: Aiden is just very...wtf.
Robert_W: "For... ah. You're that... librarian guy."
Lydia: o.o Well, she hasn't been made to suffer yet, so... she takes a cookie. :x
Lydia: "...thanks. >_> "
Robert_W: "What've you been doing? I haven't seen you in a while."
Lita offers one to Aiden and Hikari too, she was raised not to bogart.
Lita: "Any time, Llydia"
Miranda oohs and takes one, taking a bite. "Ooh, most delicious... And yes, if he ever gets free."
Aiden_Gray: "...isn't he free now?"
Brer_Lapine: Forneus gives his perfectly white smile and his beautiful tan seems to sparkle in the low light of the bus. "Ah you have me mistaken for my inamoranto, he is a book techniain, the poor dear."
Beatrice: "I'm not a librarian. As I remember.]"
Miranda peers over the back of the seat as well, at Loki, Hikari, Aiden, and Lita.
Beatrice: "Oh."
Robert_W: "Whoops. Sorry."
Brer_Lapine: "Terminally unhip as it were."
Lita gives Miranda a gingersnap too.
Robert_W: "So.. um... how come I haven't seen you around, then?"
Beatrice: "You probably weren't looking very hard."
Aiden_Gray: "Something has to change. Good intentions and defined circles are so boring~ So why not unmake the world then?" the cat-doll smiles. It's...probably not a very nice smile.
Aiden_Gray: So boring, Asgard.
Miranda smiles to Lita and takes it, dropping down once more - enough to keep watching as she munches on the snap out of view. She erfs at Loki. "S-sorry for letting him go, Ms. Gray..."
Robert_W: "Probably not. I mean, I haven't been doing too much lately" other than getting lost in some crazy woods with a rather awesome girl and her annoying ass giant cat...
Beatrice: "Cats don't grow very large." Beatrice frowns.
Lydia resists the urge to inquire about /un/defined circles. Such mathnerdery would surely result in untold degrees of suffering.
Lita writes down what the little cat is saying, those are some totally /awesome/ lyrics.
Miranda: Hikari gives a soft laugh, stretching out some. "Oh, my isn't that just so~ true."
Brer_Lapine: The bus has reached the location. You know it has reached the location because every seat in the bus lurched forward suddenly except for Hikari's own special seat.
Aiden_Gray: And Aiden goes thunk against the seat in front of him. Ow.
Lita: "Are you okay, Aiden?"
Miranda eeps at the thunking, peering down at Aiden. "C-careful..."
Robert_W: "Hey~! I didn't say nothing about a cat!" Robert peers at Beatrice oddly, like she's grown a third head.
Beatrice had a parasol hand for a time like this.
Aiden_Gray: "Y-yes, I'm fine." Aiden sits up.
Brer_Lapine: "I'm sorry, I've been tutoring her in the ways of mental interrogation, she has simply thrived in the situation like a maggot in rotten flesh."
Robert_W: "GAH!" WHUMP goes the amateur bully. Don't worry. Chicks dig scars. And it didn't hurt THAT much, right?
Beatrice: "Oh yes, you were speaking of ass giant cats. Does it have hooves?:
Brer_Lapine: Ms. Chambers clapped her hands again. "Children if you can start exiting the bus in an orderly fashion we can begin the field trip."
Lita pulls up her hood and proceeds to exit the bus in an orderly fashion.
Miranda: Hikari stands up, despite Miranda's initial attempts at apologizing for Loki's flying off, and lets Aiden out - taking position to ensure no wedgies were incoming for him under pain of a thousand years of death.
Miranda acks and blinks, before picking up her backpack and standing up, exiting as well
Lydia: Field trip! Lydia is ready to learn stuff that she's probably already read about! o.o
Beatrice trots out. :3
Aiden_Gray gets off the bus, trying to stay close to Lita.
Robert_W: "I didn't say that. I didn't say anything about the giant annoying freakish cat at all."
Brer_Lapine: Paulo exits and doesn't wait at all for his son but that is okay because there there is a hob welcoming committee waiting for him outside.
7:10 PM
Beatrice: "I'll ignore you mentioning it three times already, then."
Robert_W: >.>;;;
Robert_W: Well, at least the hobs are here. Looking cute and innocent... well, as cute or innocent as hobs ever manage. Which admittedly isn't very. Especially with Bastard Pete at the helm.
Aiden_Gray: (question: does Hikari still have Loki?)
Brer_Lapine: Bastard Pete, formerly Fire Marshall Pete, is looking very regal in his new winter robes created from the finest mink fur stolen from the ex-opera singer on the 8th floor. "Took ye' long enuff!"
Miranda: Hikari daintily steps around the hobs rather than squishing any underfoot, mainly because having hob between your toes is no fun. She sharply turns around a few paces out, setting the doll's resting place to jiggling about some. "Alright, students, let's make sure we have a safe trip today!"
Miranda tries to figure out how to delicately raise the question of recovering her now-proudly-on-display doll without exposing herself to endless mockery for having the doll in the first place.
Aiden_Gray: The doll in question is not only very comfortable, he is also anticipating the hilarity of how you'll get him back.
Brer_Lapine: [Pete was stripped of his title after causing a fire in Robert's room.]
Miranda grimaces. Darn it, Loki, why aren't you off exposing Ford's insecurities or something...
Robert_W: "Yeah, well, I had a long trip."
Lydia: <.< "Uhm. Excuse me, I think you have my... cat. thing. doll." Lydia has decided her social cred couldn't get any lower anyway, so she'll bite the bullet and claim the stuff animal. However, she means well but she is a terrible liar.
Aiden_Gray: Because exposing yours is just as fun.
Aiden_Gray: Besides, this comes with awesome cleavage to sit in.
Robert_W: "You guys have fun?"
Miranda: Hikari peers down at Lydia. "Oh ho ho, you say this doll is yours, hmm? Finally got rid of that horrible alien doll you were dragging around everywhere?"
Brer_Lapine: "Next time ye' can sit in an engine block and Pete 'll get ya' nice comfy seat!"
Lydia: "He decided not to exist today. He does that sometimes." This, at least, isn't a flat-out lie.
Robert_W: "Hey, I offered you a pocket, and you declined."
Miranda: Hikari pauses. She wasn't expecting the truth. She plucks the doll from her cleavage in an overly flamboyant gesture before depositing it in Lydia's hands. "Here you are. Now, everyone, for safe museum exploration, you should always go in groups of two or more and meet up with the main group every, oh, two hours or so?" ...worst chaperone ever.
Miranda coughs softly and glances aside. "...th-thanks." she mumbles softly.
Beatrice: "Yes, that sounds reasonable."
Brer_Lapine: "Offerin' a pocket is a dread insult ta' a hob! Might as well say OI PETE, YER A NANCY FANCY FIDDLIDOO WHY DON'T YA NANCY ABOUT IN MA' POCKET INSTEAD OF SPRAINING YER TINY BLUE TOOTSIES MY LITTLE SMOOPY WUPPY!"
Brer_Lapine: A couple of hobs begin to laugh at this but quickly shut up as Pete begins to rain blows down on their heads. "Quiet yer stupid extra mouths!"
Lydia: "Thanks. o.o" Wow. That... was probably not supposed to work. But it did. >.> "Sure. I mean, you saved me from Ford Lightning, I owed you. It's the 11th Principle of Spacegroup. :D "
Beatrice: "Well, one could get stepped on."
Beatrice: "If they were of meager posture."
Brer_Lapine: A dark limo comes rolling down the road. It has mysterious windows and it fish tails for a second before coming to a halt without hitting a single 8th grader.
Brer_Lapine: Then it deposits its two passengers, one is short and slightly batman'esque. One is large and does not resemble an 8th grader at all!
Brer_Lapine: For some reason this complete lack of vehicular manslaughter adds a strange quality to reality and for the first time in a couple of hours, HAL is once more a concrete part of reality.
Robert_W: "Okay, okay, next time I'll see if you can sit on the bus with us somehow."
Lydia: "Oh, you decided to exist again, huh? o.o "
Robert_W: .... "Who IS that kid? o.o"
Miranda glances over to HAL.
Brer_Lapine: "Am I really horrible?" HAL doesn't seem angry or upset but its monotone wasn't particularly happy sounding either.
Lydia waves to Alejandro once he gets out of the limo. :D
Alejandro_Roa: "Hh. Nue, I think our new driver lacks a certain something." Moving over to the others.
Aiden_Gray: Ah, it was that kid from the other day.
Brer_Lapine: "NUE THINK HE LACK KILLER INSTINCT."
Lydia: "Uhm, well. You took apart my mom's old betamax tapes, that was pretty horrible. :( "
Brer_Lapine: "I suppose it was, acceptable then." HAL seems happier.
Aiden_Gray: ...oh, what was this? :3
Lydia: Now Lydia only has the original un-re-demastered Apus Engagement trilogy on VHS and Laserdisc. :(
Lita exhales loudly. Everyone else is bringing their monsters, so she reaches into her hoodie's front pouch and produces an eight-track tape that immediately dissolves in her hand, forming an enormous, roiling black cloud from which emerges a beast who's sheer ability to rock renders it beyond description.
Miranda: Hikari continues her oh-so-cheerful lecture on safety. "If a stranger offers you candy, always wait until someone else tries it before having any yourself. Don't mention any strange hallucinations you may have - Snakebutt " said in greeting " - unless you want to visit the school nurse..."
Robert_W: ... o..kay... this unusual exchange momentarily distracted Robert from placating his dangerous little hob friends. Probably should work on that in the future.
Brer_Lapine: The very sight of it causes Nue to shed a single tear. ',___'
Robert_W: How does a guy end up with something like Nue anyway? Is it a tiger? Or a monkey? And what's with that weird snake tail?
Alejandro_Roa: Alejandro remains calm at the sight of the Metal beast, in that vaguely caped crusaderish way. "Stiff upper lip, Nue." And joining his classmates!
Brer_Lapine: "NUE SETTING LIP."
Aiden_Gray: ...what is that. Aiden just...stares at it.
Aiden_Gray: The rocking monster, that is.
Aiden_Gray: "...Um. Lita...?"
Lita: "Aiden, meet Ormagoden, Cremator of the Sky, Guardian of Metal, Whose Voice Is The Roar of Ten Thousand Fans. Ormagoden, Cremator of the Sky, Guardian of Metal, Whose Voice Is The Roar of Ten Thousand Fans, meet Aiden"
Beatrice: ".....Hm."
Beatrice: "Forneus. Do it."
Brer_Lapine: "...Do what?"
Aiden_Gray: "...Hi"
Beatrice: "Iiiiiit."
Brer_Lapine: "Must I?"
Beatrice: >:|
Miranda blinks at Ormagoden. Okay, this was getting weird. She takes Loki back from Lydia and makes her way towards the entrance in a bit of a daze.
Lita: "HELLO"
Aiden_Gray: "What's wrong, Miranda~?"
Brer_Lapine: Forneus rolled his majestic eyeballs and sighed. "Very well, Beatrice."
Lydia: "Its breathing sounds like mom's old 8-tracks o.o "
Beatrice: "I'm not about to lose face to a loud cloud of amplified music."
Lita: "Yeah, those are 18 inch sub-woofers tucked behind his wings," she says proudly.
Miranda shakes her head some, needing some distance from the crowd. "..." Too many monsters. And why weren't more people freaking out?
Robert_W: "Okay, so you've ALL got your own monsters? I somehow don't think I'm too surprised anymore. What, does everyone go to our school?"
Lita: "I think it's something in the water"
Aiden_Gray: "Cat got your tongue?"
Lydia: "HAL isn't a monster, he's a visitor. o.o "
Beatrice: "I believe there is something fundamentally wrong with God's design,"
Aiden_Gray: "...I didn't have one before yesterday..." Aiden murmurs quietly.
Beatrice: "But a tampered water supply may also suffice."
Miranda: Also ragnarok was way too close to armageddon which ormagoden was way too close to and letting Loki anywhere near him seemed a phenomenally bad idea.
Aiden_Gray: No, it would be a phenomenally *awesome* idea.
Alejandro_Roa: "Hh. Curious." Goetic demons, monsters embodying genres of music, temporal anomolies, fanservice Japanese spirits, Norse gods... It was the first time he hadn't been bored since his arrival.
Brer_Lapine: The skies darken to a slate color and began to boil with rage as Forneus disappears into the aether. The weather only grows worse into condition into a foreboding storm that could easily herald the end of the quiet valley region that Ascend was nestled in. From the dark skies a single ray of light speared to the ground.
Brer_Lapine: The chorus began slowly a chant in gothic latin and it grew in power as water geysered out of the ground from which Forneus swam from the very gates of hell in all his Rajiform glory!
Beatrice smiles smugly.
Lita: "Is this going to be an impromptu battle of the bands? Cause I'm pretty sure we could melt your faces off"
Robert_W: "Okay, that's pretty cool, I admit."
Aiden_Gray: Loki yawns, boredly. Always putting on a show, the Goetia.
Alejandro_Roa: "I don't believe that will be nessecary."
Aiden_Gray: ...Aiden, on the other hand, is kind of staring. What.
Brer_Lapine: "Oi, it's our turns then!' Bastard Pete waved his fist at Robert.
Beatrice: "So you say. But Hans taught me how to play hammered dulcimer."
Robert_W: "Sure is, Pete!'
Miranda: Hikari gives Aiden one of those sudden very soft hugs. There was altogether too much attention going to the rock demons and not nearly enough to her. Why did she even bother putting on this form anyway?..
Brer_Lapine: Pete whistled the united hobs all swarmed together out of every nook and cranny dressed in all sorts of terrible things and looking like a tiny blue wave. They all began to crowd together humming some strange Hobbish anthem while running into strange formations.
Brer_Lapine: Later from orbit, a spy satellite would capture a number of images visible from space of a giant blue extended middle finger and other vulgar symbols I simply refuse to write about.
Robert_W: Hob National Anthem.
Brer_Lapine: They'd been practicing, not a single song bird died from hearing it!
Aiden_Gray: ...Aiden is just walking towards the museum now.
Lita shrugs and follows Aiden, Ormagoden trailing behind her.
Beatrice crawls onto Forneus.
Alejandro_Roa: "We are going now, Nue." Alejandro follows the others.
Robert_W: "Not bad guys. That was better than the last time!"
Robert_W: "Don't you think that was p... hey, wait up!"
Brer_Lapine: The Cleft Valley Museum of Dakotan History was built on the cliffside of the mountain range, it held a very beautiful view of the sun dappled middle of ass end nowhere that most of you were born in. There is even a viewing deck to see the place where the mormon founder, Jeremiah Johnsire ascended into the heavens which was touted by the Ascend Clergical Society as the best damn miracle to ever happen in East Dakota.
Lita still thinks that time she actually managed to play a 15 minute drum solo without taking a break was better.
Brer_Lapine: Many academics theorized that if in fact Johnson did ascend into heaven then he was probably 'hanging out' and 'shooting the shit' right this very instant somewhere in the heavenly troposphere a layer of the atmosphere that was religiously charged with a small angelic particle.
Beatrice: How quaint.
Aiden_Gray: Miracles? Hahaha. Was that the best explanation they could come up with? Sweep everything under the veil of the holy and the pure?
Miranda holds Loki close, since he'll just get out of her backpack otherwise and in a museum with who knows how many weird things that's just not a good idea.
Brer_Lapine: The valley really held no comparison to the valley that Father kept his Indonesian tax retreat.
Robert_W: "Okay, this is kinda interesting... but can you throw rocks at stuff from here?"
Brer_Lapine: Mathematicians put the chances that Johnson had in fact been murdered rather than the other options at somewhere around 17.438888% which honestly was pretty good chances that he had in fact had some kind of genuine religious ascension.
Alejandro_Roa: There were a variety of scientific explanations for how they could have murdered him and made it appear to be a miracle. Or perhaps murdered him with a miracle. :|
Brer_Lapine: Nue was a firm believer that he missed his mother's cooking and just left the valley to visit his mom. Nue had gone on the Matron-Truther tour at least 4 time.
Brer_Lapine: s
Aiden_Gray: Now, now, he can cause just as much or more trouble with Miranda holding him as he can loose.
Robert_W: Miracle, huh? "Maybe he just had... I dunno. A projector or something."
Beatrice: "How dull. I've seen better locations of purported divine ascenscion."
Brer_Lapine: Brown who was obviously a student even if he wore sunglasses at all hours was standing beside Miranda. "May we speak with you fellow student?"
Brer_Lapine: "As we are students and enjoy many similar activities that could be considered childish or full of fancy."
Miranda glances back to Brown, holding Loki close. "S-sure, I guess." Somehow people who would try such horrible lies didn't seem apt to be shamed anyway...
Robert_W: "O...kaay..."
Brer_Lapine: "In a restricted area, away from children who will mock you if you reveal something that they find mockable."
Brer_Lapine: "Ms. Gray will cover for you as we are tight like that."
Brer_Lapine: The female transfer student waved once. "Yo my dawg."
Lydia: o.o
Aiden_Gray: ... Aiden just stares. What.
Aiden_Gray: Loki snickers.
Robert_W: Does anyone SAY that anymore? Robert didn't think anyone did.
Miranda glances to the others briefly, before following after Brown. "..." They don't seem to realize they don't fit in very well. At all. Ever."
Beatrice: "Sir, you smell like fax machines and Agent Orange."
Brer_Lapine: "NUE IMPLICITLY TRUSTS THESE INDIVIDUALS."
Alejandro_Roa: "And that alone makes me suspicious. Good work, Nue."
'So you say your name is Ulysses,
that you're wandering around the world.
Tell me sir, have you ever been arrested before?'

This is the worst thing. -bassist159

Here there be dragons.

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests