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FlenceburgExile
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[Risus] "Warning, Team!" (Dungeon Crawl Comedy)

28 Sep 2009, 08:25

So.

I have at hand all 8 seasons of Knightmare, a copy of Grimtooth's Dungeon of Doom and the core rules for Risus.

What kind of badwrongfun will result from combining one of the most unfair killer dungeons ever designed, a rules-light comedic RPG system, and a so-bad-it's-good ITV kids show?

Let's find out.

Specifically, I'm looking for teams to tackle this ULTIMATE FANTASY ADVENTURE over IRC. You'll be assigned to parties of five by submission order, random draw, and/or my cruel whims. May the best team win.

Failed teams will find themselves posthumously aiding the atmosphere of the dungeon, so as to provide an instructional aid to those foolhearty adventurers who come later. Traps, of course. will reset - if they're not changed entirely. After all, the dungeon is an equal-opportunity exterminator. :mrgreen:

Submission Guidelines
  1. Download a copy of Risus from the official website and read all six of its pages.
  2. Read the spellcasting rules over here if you're wanting to play a magic character.
  3. Use the Java-based character generator here to - well - generate a character. Be clever; pander to the nonsensical humour of this endeavour. (This should take about 5 minutes, tops.)
  4. Export it in BBCode format (the second tab) and post it to this thread with any description you feel like writing.
  5. Weep hot, angry tears as your carefully-crafted character is turned into chum for the Albino Cave Squid.
  6. Laugh, dammit.

Spellcasting: H-U-R-F.

EDIT: Now that I think about it, the Dungeonautica rules for Risus (linked to above, in step 2) hew pretty close to my needs. I think I'm going to adopt (read, steal) its Encumbrance rules too. (What?! Don't look at me like that. They're easy; I promise.)

Essentially, you have 10 item slots, with your standard Gear (armor and sword for a fighter, spellbook, staff, and robes for a mage, etc.) taking up the first slot. Each item you carry takes one slot, no matter their size, with coins, potions, etc. stacking just like this were some sort of MMO or roguelike or sommat. So long as you're carrying less than 10 items, you're cool. Otherwise, life starts sucking.

Protip: be sure to read the next section on fantasy beefcake to see how seriously you should be taking this game. (not very, in case you're too lazy to actually click on any of the links in this post.)

EDIT 2: I need to shanghai someone with decent artistic talent into drawing stick-figure one-panel comics of the various characters' death scenes. (of which they'll be plenty)
Last edited by FlenceburgExile on 29 Sep 2009, 22:34, edited 2 times in total.
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Kailan
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Re: [Risus] Warning Team!

28 Sep 2009, 10:20

TELL HIM HE'S BEAUTIFUL
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FluffySquirrel
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Re: [Risus] Warning Team!

28 Sep 2009, 12:30

You have Knightmare?.. where did you get it from?.. .. can't even find it over here.. I'd love to have that show
'cause sometimes everyone needs a Fluffy Squirrel to cuddle...
 
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The Purples
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Re: [Risus] Warning Team!

28 Sep 2009, 16:09

Kailan wrote:
TELL HIM HE'S BEAUTIFUL


I am Granitas... OF LEGEND!
'So you say your name is Ulysses,
that you're wandering around the world.
Tell me sir, have you ever been arrested before?'

This is the worst thing. -bassist159

Here there be dragons.
 
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Kailan
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Re: [Risus] Warning Team!

28 Sep 2009, 17:14

Seriously though, this would be a great pickup XD
Text in red is modvoice.

(11:18:32 PM) Xanti: The Bronze Faction does not care about your stupid anathema feefees.

This signature was foretold... BY GYROMANCY.
 
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FluffySquirrel
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Re: [Risus] Warning Team!

28 Sep 2009, 18:06

Btw, if any of you like the idea of light rpg knightmare based stuff, try checking out the Knightmare gamebooks, they're pretty cool, they consist of two parts, the first half of the book is a story about Treguard, and the second half is your classic fighting fantasy/choose your own adventure/whatever other system you play type thing.. .. usually at least semi related to the story, and there's usually a few puzzles that you can solve by having read the story too. Pretty fun
'cause sometimes everyone needs a Fluffy Squirrel to cuddle...
 
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Nakibe
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Re: [Risus] Warning Team!

28 Sep 2009, 21:11

TEMPORAL DISRUPTION IMMINENT!

That is to say, whenever you have time, you have adventurers willing to die for FABULOUS PRIZES! :D!
http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462 - Beware the horrifying vortex of RPGWW INSANITY!
 
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The Purples
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Re: [Risus] Warning Team!

28 Sep 2009, 23:15

Will we get our Silver Spurs of Squiredom?
'So you say your name is Ulysses,
that you're wandering around the world.
Tell me sir, have you ever been arrested before?'

This is the worst thing. -bassist159

Here there be dragons.
 
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FlenceburgExile
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Re: [Risus] Warning Team!

28 Sep 2009, 23:17

Veiled Devourer of Faces wrote:
Will we get our Silver Spurs of Squiredom?


Sure, if you survive to the end. But unlike that other poncy British gameshow, in mine

IF YOU DIE IN THE GAME, YOU DIE FOR REAL!

Now post a character.
Did you think you would be saved by the gods and idols you have made?
 
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Nakibe
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Re: [Risus] Warning Team!

29 Sep 2009, 19:39

I expect hate over this. Or something. As such, I've put on my hate-proof tinfoil helm for just such an occasion. More coming soon. Maybe.

Aaden Sandoren
a character by: Nakibe

Description: What we have here is a CLASSICAL specimen of a crocodile hunter here! Take a look at his STRONG love of animals and instincts for the field! Although this particular beast seems to have an additional love of old Harrison Ford movies, probably developed as a defense mechanism for living in the harsh dungeoneering conditions!

Cliches: Crikey~! [3], Whip it Good! (2), I'm wherever the Animals are! (2)

Tools: Whip, Leather Armor, Heavy Jeans, Winning Smile, Camera Crew?
Last edited by Nakibe on 30 Sep 2009, 01:55, edited 1 time in total.
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Janana
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Re: [Risus] "Warning, Team!" (Dungeon Crawl Comedy)

29 Sep 2009, 22:37

And now...

Remy LeChapeau
a character by: Janana

Description: Zut Alors! How magnifique! I shall have ze opportunity to test my skills against zese 'orrible creatures! Beware, foul scum, for you face mastair haberdasher Remy LeChapeau!

Cliches: Haberdashery (4), Proper Decorum (2), Vicious Knife Fighter (1), Haute Cuisine (3)

Tools: A Vast Array Of Hats, The Gentleman's Emergency Bag, Stylish Outfit, Tiny Little Knife That Makes Surprisingly Big Cuts, Book Of Recipes

ninja edit: that character generator turns character names really really small on this page if you use the default size tag
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The Purples
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Re: [Risus] "Warning, Team!" (Dungeon Crawl Comedy)

30 Sep 2009, 12:08

Charlie of Burnswick
a character by: That Damn Rabbit

Description: Lawd above! Hello, I am Charles an' I seek adventure an' Knighthood, indeed I am a young geaser ov geasery skills an' I 'ope what someday they make the fat in pan. I'm quite bite your nose an' spike da face ov me 'eritage an' I would i' if you don't lor' luv a duck! 'N quesshun me accent. Know what I mean?

Cliches: Master Thief (5), Painfully British (3), Get Ye Flask (1), Charmin' young geaser (1)

Tools: Ye Flask, 'Pig' Sticker where Pig is a euphenism for police, Amazing Accent, Lockpick, MacCloud's Manual of Kipping the Twist.
'So you say your name is Ulysses,
that you're wandering around the world.
Tell me sir, have you ever been arrested before?'

This is the worst thing. -bassist159

Here there be dragons.
 
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Kailan
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Re: [Risus] "Warning, Team!" (Dungeon Crawl Comedy)

01 Oct 2009, 09:07

These are amazing.

I will make one tonight!

EDIT: Here you go.

Angus McBurns
a character by: Moi

Description: He is a very Scottish Scotsman who fancies himself a poet.

Cliches: Poet (2), Horrible Stereotype (3), SLOOLEH (2), Swashbuckler (3)

Tools: Broadsword, a dash of single malt, accent not quite as amazing as Charlie's but still quite fine, one (1) handy notebook with quill pen
Text in red is modvoice.

(11:18:32 PM) Xanti: The Bronze Faction does not care about your stupid anathema feefees.

This signature was foretold... BY GYROMANCY.
 
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FlenceburgExile
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Re: [Risus] "Warning, Team!" (Dungeon Crawl Comedy)

05 Oct 2009, 23:59

Hey all, programme director here. Tregard's given us the all-clear, so once we collect five contestants, we can begin the first series.
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Re: [Risus] "Warning, Team!" (Dungeon Crawl Comedy)

09 Oct 2009, 03:18

Would it be possible to participate in this if one owns the Dungeon of Doom and has read it enough times to remember lots of stuff? Or at least watch?
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Re: [Risus] "Warning, Team!" (Dungeon Crawl Comedy)

09 Oct 2009, 21:20

I too would like to watch the festivities if possible. :)
Zhao Yi, "Venus! Will you look at the size of this closet?"
Midnight Rose, "Sifu, we're looking for booze here."

Current story is Sun and Stars which can be found in my notebook.
 
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FlenceburgExile
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Re: [Risus] "Warning, Team!" (Dungeon Crawl Comedy)

12 Oct 2009, 07:42

BrilliantRain wrote:
Would it be possible to participate in this if one owns the Dungeon of Doom and has read it enough times to remember lots of stuff? Or at least watch?



Depends: can you set your player knowledge aside enough to at least be entertaining? :mrgreen:

(Also, I'm switching things up a little anyhow. I have lists of alternate puzzles and traps for practically every room. I say practically because there's no way I'm not including the Albino Cave Squid.)
Did you think you would be saved by the gods and idols you have made?

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